Chapter 294 Vertical and Horizontal ②
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
”An… If?”
”A seed…?”
A few days after the Oracle of Goddess Aurelia branded them enemies of humanity, Tatei and Yokoo stood before their best friend, Natsumi. He held out a pair of small, seed-like objects, barely an inch long.
”Yeah, an If Seed¹,” Natsumi said. “I created them through Materialization Alchemy. Honestly, they’re more like fruit than seeds. Oh, and don’t bother planting them-they won’t sprout. These are strictly for eating.”
According to Natsumi, the seeds possessed the power to awaken the hidden potential of whoever consumed them. However, that potential would only manifest if the user possessed an overwhelming, singular desire. Tatei and Yokoo knew Natsumi wouldn’t go out of his way to harm them now, regardless of whether he truly trusted them yet. Without a hint of suspicion, they tossed the seeds into their mouths. As they chewed and swallowed, a distinct flavor of almonds spread across their tongues.
”Well, if nothing happens, it’s just a snack,” Natsumi added. “But if the time comes… if you truly wish for it with everything you are… those seeds will pull your ‘what-if’ possibilities into reality. Just keep that in the back of your mind.”
* * *
”Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!”
The screams of Tatei and Yokoo tore through the shop as a sudden, violent eruption of steam obscured everything in sight.
”What’s happening?!” Hidaka shouted.
”Wait, what is this?!” Reika-sama demanded.
”Ko… chan…?” Alice asked.
”Ma… kun…?” Sango added.
Stunned by the anomaly, Hidaka and his group halted their interrogation. Alice and Sango watched with trembling, fragile hope as the two they admired were swallowed by the mist.
”Dammit, I can’t see a thing in here!” Hidaka growled.
”This steam is incredible,” Reika-sama said. “There aren’t any windows, and while the vapor is being pulled toward the door, it isn’t clearing out at all.”
”Ugh, my glasses are fogged up,” Tenkouin muttered. “I’m blind.”
The blinding hiss of pressure was more than enough to freeze Hidaka’s group in place. Even so, Alice and Sango remained pinned, unable to even attempt an escape. After a tense silence, the eruption finally ceased. The lingering vapor was sucked out of the room and vented into the streets, revealing the figures within.
”Wait… what?” Hidaka asked.
”What is the meaning of this, desuwa?” Reika-sama said.
”How… why…?” Tenkouin stammered.
”Who is this beefy hunk and the pretty boy?!” Samidare squealed.
While Hidaka, Tenkouin, and Torimaki stared in shock at the figures they almost recognized, Samidare’s voice was filled with pure delight at the two men who had appeared in the center of the room.
”Um… could it be? Ko-chan?” Alice asked.
”M-M-Ma-kun?!” Sango cried.
”Is there any doubt that it is I, de-gozaru?” Tatei replied.
”What’s everyone so surprised about, nan-da-na?” Yokoo asked.
”Of course we’re surprised!” the group shouted in unison. “You two changed way too much!!”
(I can’t see myself without a mirror…) Tatei thought. But as he and Yokoo looked at each other, they both pointed and let out stunned, high-pitched yelps.
”Yokoo-dono, you’ve slimmed down into a total bishounen, de-gozaru!” Tatei shouted.
”Tatei-shi, you’re a muscle-bound powerhouse, nan-da-na!” Yokoo yelled back.
It was a shock, to say the least. The two had been best friends since middle school, and they had effectively returned to their youthful physiques-though with much more refined features. Tatei was no longer a gaunt rail; his body was a suit of living muscle, and his face had taken on a sharp, heroic edge. He was a champion of a man, or more bluntly, a “macho hottie.” Yokoo, meanwhile, looked younger than a high schooler. With his short stature and baby face, he was a beautiful shota-type boy who looked like he belonged in a pair of school shorts.
”S-So what?!” Hidaka snapped. “Even if you got your old bodies back, you’re still no match for me!”
”Does a pig think he can win just by losing weight?” Reika-sama added. “Your combat power is still zero, isn’t it?”
”My body feels lighter than I ever dreamed,” Tatei said. “Yes… with this, I can surely protect Alice-dono, de-gozaru.”
”I feel light too,” Yokoo said. “Actually, it’s more like my brain is overclocking. The fog that was clouding my thoughts is suddenly… clear. Everything is crystal clear.”
”Who cares?!” Hidaka roared. “That doesn’t mean you’re actually stronger!”
”Hmph. Shall we put that to the test then, de-gozaru?” Tatei asked.
The two who had spent their lives mired in self-loathing stood tall. With their newfound confidence, they beckoned the bullies forward.
”Don’t screw with me!” Hidaka yelled. “I’ll kick you right back into the pits of despair!”
”I actually like how he looks now, so I won’t kill him,” Reika-sama said. “Instead, I’ll keep him as my pet for the rest of his life!”
”He’s too good for my little sister,” Torimaki Ichigo added. “I’ll make him mine and dye him in my colors.”
”I’m taking both of them!” Samidare screamed.
Baring their raw, ugly desires, Hidaka’s group lunged.
* * *
”For a weapon… this will suffice, de-gozaru,” Tatei said.
Despite his brawny new frame, Tatei maintained his eccentric de-gozaru speech as he materialized a weapon. Previously, it would have taken him several minutes to forge anything, but in this form, it took only a heartbeat.
”Ha! You made a wooden sword?” Hidaka laughed. “You think a stick can stand against my Nagasone Kotetsu!”
Hidaka brandished the Kotetsu-the legendary blade of Shinsengumi Commander Kondo Isami. Even if rumors suggested it was a forgery, it was still a blade of legend. Tatei, in contrast, held a wooden sword so thick and rugged it was practically a club. The gap in quality between a master-crafted katana and a piece of wood should have been insurmountable.
”It would be wise not to mistake this for a mere wooden sword, de-gozaru,” Tatei said.
”Shut up! You only made it because you’re too weak to forge a real blade!” Hidaka shouted. “You’re still beneath my feet!”
”Is that so, de-gozaru?” Tatei replied.
The weapons collided with a deafening crack. Then, the impossible happened.
”No way… it’s just wood!” Hidaka screamed. “How can you block me?! Why isn’t there even a chip in the grain?!”
”I told you, it is no ordinary sword, de-gozaru,” Tatei said. “It may look like wood, but this is one of the Ten Blades crafted by the Gods four thousand years ago to strike down evil. A weapon of a mere few centuries is no match for it.”
”Stop making things up!” Hidaka roared.
”True, the lore is fiction, de-gozaru,” Tatei admitted. “But whether it be fiction or not, if I imagine it, create it, and materialize it, then it becomes reality. Do not mock my Skill. And never forget-the only reason you ever beat me, Hidaka, was because of Nigotori’s cowardice.”
”I would have won even without Nigotori’s help!” Hidaka blustered.
But Hidaka couldn’t push him back. If anything, he was the one losing ground.
”Impossible! No, no, no!” Hidaka cried. “I’m being pushed back? By him? This can’t-!”
A sharp, ominous snap echoed from the clashing weapons. One of them had fractured.
”It’s a lie!” Hidaka screamed. “This is a Japanese blade! A Holy Sword! It can’t break!”
His voice was hollow. The Nagasone Kotetsu shattered into fragments under the weight of Tatei’s strike. Tatei’s rugged blade didn’t slow down; it slammed directly into Hidaka’s forehead.
”Gah?!”
His skull split with a sickening thud, and Hidaka collapsed.
* * *
On the other side of the room, Yokoo faced the women.
”Losing weight doesn’t make you a fighter, Yokoo-kun,” Reika-sama said. “You never learned how to throw a punch, did you?”
”Exactly,” Torimaki Ichigo added. “The three of us will handle you easily.”
”Yokoo-kun’s Unique Skill is a summoning type, just like mine,” Tenkouin muttered. “If we just don’t give him a chance to summon anything…”
”Exactly, desuwa,” Reika-sama replied. “Let’s pin this pig-I mean, Yokoo-kun-down and make him our shared pet.”
”Oh, I like the sound of that!” Torimaki Ichigo giggled.
”A pet… a cute little shota pet… hehehe…” Samidare whispered.
Their eyes were bloodshot with a terrifying, manic lust.
”You’ve got to be joking,” Yokoo said. “I have Sango. She’s all I’ll ever need. As for being your pet? I’ll pass, nan-da-na!”
”Ma-kun… hnn… I love you so much…” Sango moaned.
Despite the danger, Sango was lost in a trance, her face flushed and her eyes glazed over as she gazed at him.
”Just stay behind me for now, okay?” Yokoo said. “It’s dangerous.”
”O-Okay!” Sango squealed. (Ahhh, I liked the chubby Ma-kun, but this manly shota version is even better!)
Yokoo gave a strained smile at Sango’s reaction. Even Tenkouin and the others looked disgusted.
”They really are sisters, desuwa,” Reika-sama said. “Different looks, but the same trashy tastes.”
”We are NOT the same!!” Torimaki Ichigo and Sango screamed in unison.
”Whatever!” Tenkouin shouted. “With the way I am now, this is a breeze! Just give up!”
Yokoo was outnumbered and physically outmatched, but he wasn’t about to break. He knew he had already won. Yokoo had always been a genius, but in this new body, his brain was firing at speeds he’d never felt before.
”‘Materialization Summoning’! Come forth!”
Instant imagination. Instant embodiment. The summon was complete before they could blink. Standing before them was a golden-robed ascetic monk-a Sokushinbutsu².
”Undead against undead?” Tenkouin sneered. “I thought you’d call an angel… have you lost your mind?”
”This is exactly what I need,” Yokoo said. “It’s just your bad luck that you two became undead, nan-da-na. Grand Archacharya, bring silence to those who wander in death.”
The monk nodded and began a resonant chant. To human ears, it was a garbled, incomprehensible vibration. But for Tenkouin and Torimaki, it was a death knell.
”■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■”
The two women collapsed, thrashing in agony as they were bathed in a blinding, holy light. Then, they simply ceased to exist.
”W-What was that?!” Samidare cried. “What did you do?!”
”A mantra to grant peace to the impure and the undead,” Yokoo said. “Let’s call it the ‘Holy Heaven Revolving Mantra.’ It’s useless against the living, though.”
”No… no way…”
”You’re like me-not much of a front-line fighter,” Yokoo continued. “But I have Sango. And Alice. Alice has an instant-death Skill that works on anything that breathes. You’re already cooked, nan-da-na.”
Samidare looked over at Hidaka. He was facedown in a pool of blood. Whether he was dead or alive, he wasn’t moving. She started shaking, tears streaming down her face as she collapsed to her knees.
”I-I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” she wailed. “I won’t do it again! I’ll never show my face to you again! Please, just spare my life!”
Even as a reborn Goddess’s Knight, her cowardice took over. She grovelled, begging for mercy. Yokoo didn’t have the heart to finish her off. But Sango did.
”We’ll let you live,” Sango said, stepping forward. “But if you ever try to hurt Ma-kun again… this is what you get.”
Sango lunged with a Spatial Jump. Her blade bypassed the armor entirely, sinking into Samidare’s arm. The sword snapped under the pressure, leaving a jagged shard of steel embedded deep in the muscle.
”Agyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!”
Despite her indestructible armor being untouched, Samidare’s arm was pierced. She rolled on the ground, her screams of agony filling the room.
* * *
Tatei still hated the idea of killing, and Yokoo was no murderer by choice. Though Hidaka and Samidare survived their ordeal as Goddess’s Knights, their pathetic end was, ironically, exactly the same as their original lives.
===
Author’s Note:
The wooden sword Tatei made and the Grand Archacharya Yokoo summoned… do you recognize the references? If you do, let me know in the comments!
”He hit me! He hit me twice! Even my father never hit me!” (A classic line… though without the right context, it sounds like a very different kind of ‘Uho’ situation…)
—
Summary:
Tatei and Yokoo consume the ‘If Seeds’ provided by Natsumi, triggering dramatic physical and mental transformations that return them to idealized versions of their former selves. The duo easily overwhelms their former tormentors, Hidaka and the other Goddess’s Knights, using high-tier materialized weapons and holy summons. The chapter concludes with the antagonists’ swift defeat and Samidare being brutally wounded by Sango.
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Trivia:
- The ‘If Seed’ mechanism is heavily inspired by Gundam SEED, suggesting the protagonists have unlocked a latent ‘evolutionary’ potential unique to their characters.
- Tatei’s wooden sword is revealed to be a God-tier relic, hinting that his Materialization Alchemy now taps into conceptual or divine realms rather than just physical mimicry.
- Yokoo’s increased mental processing speed suggests his transformation isn’t just physical but a cognitive upgrade, potentially making him the strategic lead moving forward.
- Sango’s manic obsession and willingness to maim Samidare shows a darker, more volatile side to her loyalty compared to the protagonists’ hesitation to kill
—
Character Insight:
Tatei and Yokoo have moved from a state of victimhood to absolute dominance, symbolized by their return to their ‘middle school’ appearances which were their peak before the bullying began. Sango’s relationship with Yokoo has intensified into a semi-erotic obsession, evidenced by her ‘ahegao’ reaction to his new form and her ruthless protection of him.
—
Lore And Worldbuilding Context:
The concept of ‘If Seeds’ introduces a new layer to the power system where ‘possibility’ can be manifested into physical form. The ‘Sokushinbutsu’ (Self-mummified monk) summon introduces Buddhist-themed holy magic into the world, specifically designed to counter ‘undead’ and ‘impure’ entities, which serves as a hard counter to Tenkouin’s faction.
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TL Notes:
The chapter includes a somber author’s note regarding the deaths of Akira Toriyama and TARAKO, setting a contrast with the subsequent shonen-style action. The final joke references the ‘Amuro Ray’ hit meme combined with ‘Uho! Good Man’ internet slang, a layer of meta-humor common in Japanese web novel culture.
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TL Notes:
Notes:
• Aurelia – An ethereal goddess, heard only over the school intercom, announces reincarnation and later takes a physical form, retaining student memories. She is arrogant, calls herself a Goddess, holds Lil captive, and uses Natsu’s former friends to torment him, viewing war as entertainment and lamenting she cannot see into Greedia.
• Natsumi – Standing 168‑171 cm, 57‑59 kg, he has a baby‑faced look hidden by bangs and dark hair. Once bullied for a feminine name and nearly killed by the Sugita gang, he was resurrected with white wings and an unknown power, surpassing the Demon King. Now Commander‑in‑Chief of the Greedia Army (Sieben), the resurrected “God”, master of ant‑soldiers and priestesses, wields a veiny holy sword, builds a harem through biological and magical dominance, and rules as a silent, manipulative tyrant‑savior transcending godhood.
• Natsu – The protagonist and ‘Avenger’. Formerly considered a plain, powerless loner before being summoned. Currently possesses Sin Magic and a connection to his true comrades.
• Tatei – Tatei Kozoo, 186 cm tall and now gaunt at 52 kg, once a solid otaku friend of Natsumi and a bully alongside the narrator and Yokoo. He uses Materialization Alchemy to forge class gear—most notoriously the X‑shaped restraint used in Sugita’s execution. Former best friend of Natsu, he now speaks in a stilted, samurai‑like warrior style, no longer recognizing her as a brother‑in‑arms, and serves as Sasaki’s loyal retainer.
• Yokoo – Natsuki Sasaki’s former best friend, modeled after Yoko from Comic Party, now addresses him with cold formality using “-shi,” viewing him as a traitor for his role in the class’s sacrificial bullying pact. Encased in Living Armor and wielding Materialization Summoning, he appears alongside Tatei in the rescue party, his once-familiar demeanor replaced by distant formality, yet still tied to Natsuki by shared trauma and unresolved loyalty.
• Tate – Male Otaku friend of Reese. Gaunt and thin, wears glasses. Possesses Materialization Alchemy skill.
• Hidaka – 182 cm, 79 kg muscular man—ex-Sugita gang member and Kendo club alum, now Hero-class wielding Holy Sword Ame-no-Murakumo-no-Tsurugi and Unique Skill
• Reika – Wealthy half-foreign heiress with drill blonde hair and blue eyes, flat-chested. Leader of the bullying group.
• Rei – Eldest Kijima twin, an undead girl with corpse‑like visage, fights as a frontline tank wielding a cross‑shaped spear, calm in death yet razor‑sharp in combat, perfectly synced with her sister Mei. Younger sister, the Apostle of Envy, envies Mei but shares tight battle coordination with her.
• Alice – A small, adorable girl summoned by Yokoo. Based on the ‘Red’ and ‘Black’ Majin versions. Stronger than Tate or Yokoo. Celadon Rank Monster Hunter.
• Sango – A bunny-girl with long white hair and red eyes; younger sister of Torimaki Ichigo.
• Ichigo – Obese/plump girl, lackey of Reika.
• Shin – A level 18 greatsword user and Hunter from Rubia. Jade rank.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
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