Chapter 232 Self-Blame*
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
Accompanied by Ai, I stepped forward before the lined-up crystals.
Among them, the first thing I fixed my gaze on was the doppelgänger who was the spitting image of the goddess in my arms. Even through the faintly colored glass, her well-proportioned body caught the eye. Even though I already had one half in my grasp, I still couldn’t help but want the other.
—No, since I’ve already essentially obtained both, it’s foolish to yearn like this.
However, because I had imposed upon myself the principle that lust was good, I felt unceasing indignation at the hard shell that blocked physical contact.
”…Hm? Hey, why is the Crotch Tattoo gone? This one is already mine, isn’t it? Don’t go making her free on your own.”
While strongly wishing for the revival of the servants, I was wringing my hands at the unease of wielding power without the assistance of Skills. That was when I noticed that the patterns that should have been engraved on the lower bellies of the women I swore never to let go of were gone. Provoked by the anger at this unforgivable disappearance, I involuntarily thrust my fingers into the elastic breasts through the thin cloth.
Then, as if that passion had turned into lewd energy and eroded the female body, Ai stretched the tips of her toes taut, thrust out her hips shamelessly, and trembled all over with a shudder.
”Kuh♡ Nheeee♡♡ Raaah, no more♡ Onii-sama♡, have a little more mercy♡♡ Aah, forgive me♡ It’s not like that, I didn’t erase it♡♡ What’s here is the soul, so the Crotch Tattoo♡ w-wasn’t there from the start♡♡”
”Hm…, ah, I see. Come to think of it, there’s no way Ai would do something like that on her own. I jumped to conclusions too quickly. My bad, my bad.”
The moment I had the illusion that the servants had left my hands even slightly, the obsession welling up from the bottom of my stomach erupted without being able to hold back, even while understanding the overwhelming difference in power that couldn’t even be compared.
But Ai, who had long been the administrator of Shelm’s divinity, forgave that clumsiness of mine being swayed by divinity with a motherly smile. Moreover, she turned toward me with her cheeks blushing dreamily, and gently stroked the raging meat rod with her palm, as if affirming that impulse.
”Yes, that’s right♡ Taking women away from Onii-sama♡ I couldn’t do such a terrible thing♡♡ Onii-sama is a brave god who will listen to anything you say as long as you offer him breasts and psy♡ Of course, I understand that will♡♡”
”Well, I wouldn’t say anything…, no, the offering is too excellent, so I might end up listening to anything after all. But there’s no way there’s an offering better than you or Ashley. If you want me to listen to you, you should come to get embraced by yourself properly.”
Yes, I realized the amplification of power by being driven by desire, but strangely, I didn’t feel like wanting to devour women indiscriminately.
That was undoubtedly because I was given Ashley as a woman beyond compare, and the goddess who forced that upon me had also taken the form most pleasing to humans and captivated me. Therefore, I had no intention of reaching out to just any ordinary woman as a foothold for gaining power. Thus, the Rainbow Goddess who invited me to the seat of god while narrowing the path to that glory had to take proper responsibility.
”Yes, yeees♡ When I want to ask Onii-sama for something, I will definitely offer my psy♡ While doing Schlick, schlick with Onii-sama-exclusive goddess psy, I will comfort the sturdy lewd god ck♡♡”
”That’s right, a price is needed for wishes. But besides that, you’re my woman too. Regardless of requests, come running immediately when I call you.”
Unlike Yui, who was given a human body and married off, Ai, who wields the power of the goddess Shelm, also bears the duty of a concubine. Surely a god wouldn’t forget that promise, but it’s also a fact that rights don’t always exert their effectiveness unless asserted.
Therefore, when I stirred my will, Ai pulled back slightly as if fearing the lewd energy that rose up in response. But, of course, such a violation couldn’t be allowed, so after grabbing her breasts and embracing her, I slipped my fingers into her crotch.
Then, perhaps to protect her own dignity, Ai strengthened her grip on the hand holding the meat rod she hadn’t let go of until the end, and while letting out a pleasant cry, she continuously squeezed my entire finger with her vina.
”Nhe♡ Hoheee♡ N-no, this is bad♡ If you pamper my psy like that, I’ll want ck right away♡ Right now, you must get used to wielding power♡♡”
”…Tch. It won’t succeed in one go anyway, so maybe I should save the distraction material for later. …But is that okay? If it goes well, I’ll be occupied with Yui for a while. This might be the last opportunity you can shamelessly beg for ck, you know?”
To tell the truth, I still hold a grudge that only Yui has been welcomed as a wife so far. Therefore, if there was a good opportunity to concentrate on Ai, I wanted to get the chance to greedily devour this cute sister goddess’s body.
However, under the pretense of prioritizing the wives, I couldn’t openly show obsession toward the concubine in front of me. To escape that dilemma, I deliberately tried to make her beg for affection from the other side, but Ai didn’t take the bait, as if she had seen through something.
”No…. I appreciate Onii-sama’s spirit, but first, please concentrate on Yui’s revival. If you make the goddess’s foresight come true, I will respectfully celebrate the reunion of you two.”
”Hmph. It’s not an atmosphere where I can tease you for being cold, is it? …Well, fine. I know perfectly well myself that I’m inexperienced. I’ll take the fact that I exercised self-control even though you’re soaking wet as your advice not to get carried away just because you’re newly established.”
Not just Ai, but even the former Shelm had times when she suddenly threw away her loose atmosphere.
That rapid emotional change, when seen from the side, raises the suspicion that she was just acting along with the behavior, which is really bad for mental health. However, at such times, there was always a situation where one had to hold one’s heart strongly to get through it, and one was forced to switch consciousness to what had to be done, however unwillingly.
Thus, while reluctantly kneading Ai’s large breasts, I waved my hand toward the crystal that sealed Yui. From that chilly inorganic coldness, the warmth of blood flowing like in my arms wasn’t conveyed, and I understood that, as the information imprinted in my head said, it was only a soul taking the form of a body after all.
”Fuh♡ Nm, kuu♡ Like that, nples♡ Just from having them dug into♡ I’m cming♡♡”
”Fufu, you don’t have to hold back that much. Your crying voice feels so good, I feel like I can concentrate even more.”
By becoming a being called a god, I realized that my mental structure had clearly changed. Before fusing with the ‘dungeon core,’ even if I felt a woman’s sweet voice was pleasant, silence was the first environment when concentrating on things.
But now, just by listening to the voice Ai squeezes out sadly, my power follows my consciousness interestingly.
Therefore, I can’t stop the movement of my fingers as I comfort Ai’s breasts. Ai also seems confident that this will improve the situation, and no longer minding being eroded by lewd energy, she entrusted her body to be done as pleased.
Thus, linking the generation of Yui’s body with the heightening of Ai’s sexual pleasure, I stepped into the realm that only a god can accomplish. At that moment, my consciousness abandoned human thought and transformed into an execution device of divine power that simply manifested the desired female flesh and forced even a goddess to experience an unwanted climax.
”—Wake up, Yui!”
”Kufuu, hiaaaaaaaan♡♡”
It was simultaneous with pouring power into the crystal with a spirit like tearing silk, and Ai arching her body and convulsing.
While embracing the sister goddess who went limp in my arms, I stared intently at the state of the crystal. However, no change visited for a while after that, and the moment I realized failure, an ominous sound I hadn’t expected pierced the depths of my ears.
—Crack.
That was clearly the sound of some mineral shattering.
At first, I panicked, thinking that due to my carelessness, the rock ledge serving as footing couldn’t maintain its shape. However, the situation was in a far worse state than that, and when I looked around, focusing my attention on what was happening, cracks caused by damage were running across the surface of Yui’s crystal, of all things.
”Eh?”
”Onii-sama, stay strong.”
CRASH!
Before my head could understand Ai’s warning, the crystal sealing Yui shattered into pieces. The fragments ranged from fist-sized to minute ones as fine as fingernail tips. But more than that, Yui’s body that should have been generated inside also shattered like a pomegranate and was scattered all around.
The gruesomeness of it—a sea of blood soaking the feet, steaming internal organs, red flesh and white skin scattered in lumps, and to top it off, the beautiful face I had been so proud of was split in two, with the rainbow eyes that had lost their light staring into the void.
”Uwah, ah, aaaaaaah! Aah, aaaaah——, ——, ——!”
”Onii-sama, stay as you are. I’ll return it.”
—I killed. My beloved, ill-natured goddess.
The moment I understood that, I twisted my body, threw Ai away, and tried to pour power into my whole body to let out a scream.
However, all those reactions of despair were sealed by the powerful goddess’s divine power, and not even moving a little was allowed. And the moment tears were about to spill from the irrecoverable disappointment, Yui, who had become numerous pieces of flesh, began to join together again as if playing a video in reverse. That was not limited to the failed body or the soul taking the form of a figure, but the sealing crystal was the same, regaining a completely transparent state again without leaving even cracks or their traces.
”Ah, ah? What, is this…?”
”To speak harshly, please understand that forming another person’s body is not something that can be accomplished easily by Onii-sama, who has just become a god. Therefore, from now on, I will have Onii-sama continue to kill ‘me’ thousands and tens of thousands of times. All so that ‘I’ can spend eternity together with Onii-sama. After many failures, please surely recover Yui’s and the wives’ bodies.”
Before I knew it, everything had returned to the situation just before I was generating Yui’s body with high spirits.
But my heart was incomparably more depressed than before, and I felt shame so unbearable that I couldn’t stand my own attitude of showing off so lightly to Ai.
—That’s right. Ai knew from the beginning that her other half would die due to her brother’s lack of power.
Then I get angry thinking things like avoid that or explain it beforehand, but if there’s even one in ten thousand chance of losing the opportunity to welcome a new compatriot because of that, it would be putting the cart before the horse.
If I had been explained from the beginning that I would have to kill Yui many times, would I have accepted the fusion with the ‘dungeon core’? Wouldn’t it have just created a long debt for the goddesses to enjoy nothing but the (Familial Workshop)?
Moreover, as Ai says, if I can’t expect mastery of divine power to the extent of generating a human body overnight, there’s no choice but for someone to become the practice platform. At least the goddess Shelm imposed that role on herself, so I couldn’t pursue her for evading responsibility.
”Uph. H, oeh…. Like this, like this, did Yui understand and become my wife?”
”Yes. Whichever one was chosen by Onii-sama, that one would pursue both that honor and this responsibility at the same time. At that moment, I and Yui had already made up our minds.”
Originally, Ai was the one who was supposed to be given a human body and marry into the Apostle.
Then I suspected that she imposed that position on Yui to avoid this role, but compared to the wish of the goddesses who wanted to increase their compatriots, it’s still a role where it doesn’t matter which one bears it. Precisely because I can perceive that even against my will, I can’t loudly complain about things like I don’t want to be the killer side now that I’ve come here.
”By the way. What would happen if I tried to get Ai to make everyone’s bodies?”
Still, since asking is free, it’s important to ask about conditions within what I can realize.
If it’s the goddess Shelm, she has not only created avatars but also given the (Familial Workshop) the function to remodel bodies, so giving bodies to Ashley and the others should be easy. Thinking that, I tried asking for the time being, and Ai, as if floating a ferocious smile somewhere, extended a hand to my meat rod, which had shrunk from the excessive tragedy, and began careful caresses.
”Well then♡ You have already promised to obtain power comparable to me and Mataaha. If you’re going to break that promise, we’ll make the plan completely blank, and Onii-sama will become my subordinate god♡ For the time being, I won’t even allow the other wives besides Yui to enter the bedroom♡ I’ll have Onii-sama, who has no guts, spend the rest of his life just watching me get seeded by Yui repeatedly♡♡”
”W-wait…! Don’t, don’t let them see such a pathetic figure…!”
The parting from the servants was only temporary. All of them threw themselves into the (Familial Workshop) believing in a future where they would love each other again. Yet, if they were to witness the figure of a husband who forgot his duty and yielded to the power of a goddess, even a thousand-year love would surely cool down. No, precisely because the love they nurtured was strong, the hatred born from that turn would not be settled by ordinary means.
While receiving such angry gazes from them, it would be impossible to enjoy intercourse even if the partner was Yui. Furthermore, being at the mercy of the goddess Shelm and never being able to embrace Ashley and the others for eternity is pain worse than death.
”Then, please use your power even if you have to kill ‘me’ many times♡ This degree is a trivial thing that can’t even be called difficult for us gods, right? ♡♡”
”Uah…, a, uwaaaaaaah!”
When Ai smiled at me, I understood the true meaning of the guidance from this senior.
That was trying to cultivate not just the mastery of technique, but the spirituality as a god.
For Shelm, even if tens of thousands of deaths equivalent to humans pile up, her own existence isn’t endangered to that extent. At least when educating a new compatriot, it’s an acceptable loss, and she feels the necessity of having the younger god hold a similar sense of values.
Of course, that’s pain unbearable for a former human, but to overcome that, she had prepared methods of preserving consciousness and distractions in advance.
Without even noticing such things, I casually accepted the easy offer of becoming a god, and by the time I understood, I had already stepped into a place where I couldn’t escape.
Ai floated a motherly smile as if wrapping even that despair, and turned her gaze toward the bed behind her.
What she was trying to say was, lower the saved consciousness and concentrate on distraction for now. If I repeat updating consciousness like that, the solidified spirituality will approach that of a god, and the goddesses’ scheme will be accomplished.
While sinking to the bottom of despair as if caught in that terrible trap, I couldn’t overcome the temptation of the softness of the plump breasts pressed against my chest.
——–
T/N Notes:
1. The chapter title “Self-Blame” (自責) – Refers to the protagonist’s guilt over failing to revive Yui properly and having to kill her multiple times in the process of learning to use his god powers.
Notes:
• Ai – A graceful sub-divinity who manages the world’s Skills, this goddess radiates a blinding, magnificent aura. Serving as a powerful, party-connected energy source, she stands as a steadfast ally to Yuuri. Viewing him as her “Elder Brother,” she harbors deep trust and genuine affection for him, forged through his exceptional mastery and efficiency in utilizing her divine power.
• Shelm – Reincarnated as a member of the Shelm family under her divine name, the Wicked Goddess is a manipulative entity linked to Marina’s arrival. Driven by a desire to exploit Yuuri’s power, she uses her outward appearance and deceitful nature to influence those around her, shaping critical relationships to ensure he unleashes his true capabilities for her own hidden agenda.
• Ashley – Daughter of Count Alegria and Yuuri’s beloved childhood friend, this poised, dignified noblewoman once adventured in the Capital Labyrinth. Now the head of the servants and a loyal attendant in Yuuri’s party, she stands by his side during the audience with Mataaha. Gracious, deeply smitten, and devoted, she secretly admires her master, seeks to be his dressing aide, and forms deep bonds with others.
• Rainbow Goddess – A fair-skinned goddess wrapped in gossamer silk who hovers alongside Mataaha as a divine entity.
• Yui – Once a wicked goddess and now Yuuri’s servant-bride, this silver-haired beauty boasts a flawless, voluptuous physique, long spilling hair, iridescent eyes, and a signature red-black crotch tattoo pulsing with light. Prone to laziness and tentacle-fondness, the hyper-energetic companion exhibits a sugary, yandere-like devotion to Yuuri. She currently lies unconscious in restrictive livery.
• Mataaha – A labyrinth goddess with dark skin, silver eyes, and long black hair, she hovers majestically in deep blue vestments. She governs the Royal Capital Labyrinth with an old-fashioned, stern presence and a deep, authoritative voice. Possessing transcendent power, she is cold to intruders and intensely solitary, sharing an easy familiarity only with Yui and Ai.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
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