Chapter 16 You and the Person You Think I Am Are Different
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
This is what it means to know it firsthand.
I now understand how limited my imagination truly is.
I’ve realized how much shame and embarrassment I’ve put Viola and Frau through… I understand it well.
And the worst part about me is that I found pleasure in those actions.
The intense pleasure was so overwhelming that I even wished for it to continue forever.
But I must repent.
I must not tarnish Viola and Frau with my vulgar desires.
(The same words are scribbled all over that page)
* * *
Fiine-chan seems to be the only one who doesn’t fully understand, as she keeps bumping her lizard-like tail against Lute-sama and wearing a curious expression.
Seated on the living room sofa are Lute-sama, Viola-sama, Beth, Fiine-chan, myself, and Divine Princess Aria-sama.
The room hung heavy with silence, not a single person uttering a word since a while ago. Aria-sama, clad in casual attire, a rarity in itself, drifted into my thoughts amidst the awkwardness.
Why did things end up like this?
Has Aria-sama finished her tea?
I need to make more…
But I can’t… My hips won’t cooperate…
Right, I collapsed on the bed earlier, and Beth brought me here.
Beth even brewed everyone’s tea.
I just sat there, turning red.
”Aria-sama, would you like a refill?”
Beth, you’re truly amazing.
How can you still smile at a time like this?
Meanwhile, I’m still flushed…
No, it’s nothing…
On the other hand, Aria-sama remained as cold as ice.
Well, it’s understandable.
It’s all so confusing.
In this situation where it’s unclear if it’s okay to be angry or not, even Aria-sama must be at a loss about what to do.
I had no idea why she had come to visit so late at night, but it must have been something important.
Yet, when she arrived, she found Lute-sama surrounded by four women, all attacking him while he was completely naked.
”…No need for explanations. I understand about the treatment and why you lied to me about Viola-san.”
It’s not working. Lute-sama is clearly flustered.
These two have known each other for quite a while. I just met Aria-sama recently, but the relationship between Lute-sama and Aria-sama might be longer than mine. I think Aria-sama’s father supported a considerable amount for the establishment of the orphanage.
”So… about that…”
”…You don’t need to worry. I can’t report such things, especially not to you.”
Seeing Aria-sama turn bright red and pout while looking away, Lute-sama let out a relieved sigh.
Aria-sama’s words probably have a double meaning. Well, not just double, but more.
The fact that Lute-sama lied to the Divine Princess.
The fact that Lute-sama is afflicted with Incubus Syndrome.
The fact that Lute-sama is hiding Draconia.
And then… the intimate encounters Lute-sama had with us.
I don’t know the extent of Aria-sama’s relationship with Lute-sama, but the closer it is, the more difficult this conversation becomes. Not that intimacy is the main point, but…
Well, I must admit, it was certainly too intimate.
We haven’t talked about Alto-sama yet, trying to avoid unnecessary suspicion from Viola-sama. But if by some chance it gets exposed, we might face her wrath again…
”However… may I confirm one thing?”
”W-What is it?”
”Everyone, what happened earlier… was it something you both agreed upon…?”
Aria-sama’s face is bright red…
On my lap, my hands clenched and trembled. It must have been quite a shock…
”If they’re not convinced, then I…”
”I am convinced.”
Viola-sama immediately replied. Her dignified expression even had a touch of coolness.
Why is Viola-sama so cool…? She’s completely different from me.
She’s always composed, never wavering, and incredibly strong. If I were in a situation where I couldn’t move, I would be overwhelmed by a sense of hopelessness. Viola-sama is always so noble.
Even during treatment…
I easily give in to my desires and become useless, but Viola-sama, even though she may be embarrassed, always appears rational.
”…Aren’t you embarrassed at all?”
”I am embarrassed, but I am convinced. I trust Lute and everyone else. I am grateful for everything they do for me. There isn’t a single thing I dislike.”
Not only is her inner self so wonderful, but her appearance is like that of a goddess…
I can’t believe someone like Viola-sama would actually like Lute-sama… It’s impossible, but… still…
”I understand perfectly, you know~♡ Besides, as I mentioned earlier, I’m the one who suggested this treatment method~♡”
”Hey, Lute, what are you guys talking about? Why are you being scolded?”
”I’m not being scolded, Fiine… I’m just explaining. And stop licking my face.”
Aria-sama, with a serious frown, stared at Beth and Fiine-chan. Well, these two are a bit hard to understand, to be honest.
I’ve known Beth for a long time, so it’s not that bad, but there are still times when I don’t get her. And Fiine-chan isn’t even human to begin with.
”What about you…?”
”Based on what I’ve heard about the treatment, I think you’re the one who got involved with Viola-san’s treatment the most. Are you okay with that…?”
It’s not about being okay or anything like that.
But, Lute-sama is everything to me.
Facing Viola-sama, I couldn’t just withdraw from such a reckless battle.
I had nothing. No strength, no education, no talent, no friends, no family, no hope.
Only Lute-sama didn’t abandon me.
I know it was just chance. I wasn’t special. But I wanted to be special to Lute-sama.
I was vulgar, lowly, with little ambition. I should’ve polished myself to catch Lute-sama’s eye, but…
”If it’s what Lute-sama wishes…”
I’ve lived by flattering. For Lute-sama. Since I was young, I’ve clung, served, and desperately tried to sell myself.
I waited every day, peering from the window, for Lute-sama’s visits to the orphanage.
I couldn’t bear to give up being the first to embrace Lute-sama, even if it meant getting scolded.
Whenever I tried to go home, I would cry, kick, and cling to his legs.
I escaped from the orphanage many times and sneaked into Lute-sama’s house, sleeping in his bed without permission.
I even jumped into the bath while he was in it numerous times.
Even though I was young, I desperately tried to tempt him, repeatedly demanding kisses.
…And I couldn’t wait to grow up quickly.
I wanted to become a woman that Lute-sama would turn to.
Almost all of my scarce efforts are directed towards Lute-sama.
All of my actions are for him.
Only to please Lute-sama.
I learned cooking, sewing, and cleaning, all for the sake of him.
I try to be beautiful because I want to be favored by him.
I try to be devoted because I want to be liked by him.
If he falls in love with another woman, I don’t feel anger… It’s because I don’t want to be hated.
”If there’s anything Lute-sama wants to do… I will assist him with anything…”
I would do anything, even terrible things.
I would even commit crimes.
If that’s what Lute-sama wants.
Aria-sama’s eyebrows furrowed as she looked at me.
I understand. You might think it’s not true. That I don’t have a will of my own.
I understand, but…
I’m doing my best, you know. This is my utmost effort.
I’m even stretching myself.
On the other side of Lute-sama, there’s Viola-sama, Beth, and Kanon-sama, looking at me. Even Fiine-chan from Draconia is here now.
Everyone is amazing. They have talent, beauty, cuteness, and so much charm.
I’m just trying to keep up. I’m afraid I’ll be left behind, and every day is scary.
”I… can’t live…”
I can’t live without Lute-sama. If he doesn’t love me, then my life has no meaning. Because his existence taught me what it means to love.
Through the existence of Lute-sama, I learned what my parents, family, and God teach me.
”Lute-sama is my everything…”
It’s pathetic. I feel like a parasite. I could cry… everyone else stands firm on their own.
”I’ll do anything…”
This is troublesome, saying such things in front of Viola-sama. I’m sorry.
Despite being treated so preciously, despite being looked after so attentively, I’ve grown into such a vulgar woman.
Still, I want to be loved by Lute-sama. I want to kiss Lute-sama. I want to be touched by Lute-sama, caressed by Lute-sama, embraced by Lute-sama.
If possible, I want him to unleash all his desires on me.
Live together. Rejoice together. Sorrow together. Grow old together.
Without a second’s deviation, I want to die with Lute-sama.
I believe it’s a chance for me.
Using Viola-sama’s treatment as a justification, I can engage in intimate activities with Lute-sama.
I want to use the treatment as a shield to commit such acts.
I think I can pretend to be in confusion and get away with it.
”…being able to be of use to Lute-sama.”
If possible, I want to bear Lute-sama’s child… that’s what I’m thinking.
Because I’ve been dreaming about it for so long.
Because I’ve been aiming for it all this time.
To say “I love you”
Those words are not enough.
I want to melt,
Become a mess,
And mix with Lute-sama.
* * *
It was too intense.
I couldn’t help but be affected by it.
”Aria… um… I’m sorry for showing you that side of me…”
”…Is there nothing to be guilty about?”
My body is hot, so the cold night breeze feels good.
Even after witnessing such a scene, I felt a little excited about myself.
”……It’s not like I care or anything.”
That’s a lie.
I’ve been caring all along.
The scene I witnessed at that time, the feelings of the beautiful people around, and even the gaze of Lute-sama staring at me now…
When was the last time we walked alone together on the night road like this?
At least since becoming the Divine Princess, it’s the first time.
”I’ll keep it a secret, so please don’t worry.”
”…I, I’m at ease.”
Lute-sama’s eyes are on me.
A curious expression and kind-looking eyes.
”After all, Lute-sama never treated Viola-san badly.”
”…Well, depending on how you look at it, it can be harsh. …It only works because Viola is putting up with it.”
”…Is that so?”
Is he really saying that Viola is enduring?
The face of Viola-san that I saw from the window at that time.
It’s still burned into my eyes and won’t fade away.
Her eyes were fixated on the Lute-sama who had reached a state of ecstasy, with a smile of joy on her face. Those eyes were not the eyes of someone who could endure any longer.
When I asked if she was “convinced,” it wasn’t because I was concerned about the women who were there. Rather, that scene looked like Lute-sama was being r**ed.
Arms and legs entwined all over his body, restrained, tongues exploring, and bodily fluids consumed… If you want to talk about cruelty, that scene was far too cruel.
”…Lute-sama, you should be more careful.”
”Ugh… It must be disgraceful…”
He doesn’t understand, huh? What he should be careful about.
If someone were to see him walking alone at night with a noblewoman who has a father who wants to marry her off, I can’t even imagine what they would say.
Lute-sama is far too unaware of his own position. How many women does he think are targeting him?
Imperial Kingdom has been hesitant to bestow a title upon Lute-sama and has refrained from conferring him with a rank.
However, in this recent war, there has been criticism from various quarters regarding this attitude. There are factions within the nobility, including my father, who support Lute-sama.
”Do you know? There are rumors going around.”
”Rumors about Lute-sama. Ever since Forte and I reported the incident the other day, rumors have been spreading among the nobles.”
”What kind of rumors?”
Even within the Church, there are those who support Lute-sama. It is thanks to the immense power led by Kanon-sama that Lute-sama is able to live a peaceful life without any disruptions.
He is afraid of attracting unwanted attention from certain factions and being targeted, but given the chance, women from all over would flock to Lute-sama. It could be due to their own desires or the desires of their parents who want to bring Lute-sama into their fold.
”They say that Lute-sama has a propensity to torture women.”
”Every time I attend the evening gatherings, I am bombarded with questions. They want to know how Lute-sama tortures his slaves.”
He stammered, looking embarrassed, but it was clear he didn’t understand. Does he even realize what their intentions are when they ask those questions?
These women are aiming to become sacrifices to his peculiar desires, offering themselves, their daughters, their maids, and their slaves to establish a close relationship with Lute-sama.
It has recently come to light that Lute-sama, who was rumored to have no interest in wealth, power, or women, possesses extreme fetishes. It’s no wonder the nobles and women are getting excited. It must feel like a ray of hope shining on what seemed like an impenetrable fortress.
If they can acquire Lute-sama, how many women would be eager to replace him, a man who has no interest in power? With Lute-sama’s past accomplishments, they would be able to demand anything they desire.
”…Do you know what my parents said to me when I came home the other day?”
”…W-what… did they say?”
When I see Lute-sama’s pale face, I can’t help but want to tease him. Honestly, I think he should find a good person to protect him as soon as possible.
”They told me to endure… it…”
By the way, I had a big fight with my parents because they believed even a bit of those rumors, but that’s a secret.
I wonder if I could have made him pale even more by saying something like, “Of course. I like that kind of thing too.”
”I’m… worried, Lute-sama…”
I’m glad Frau-san isn’t bound by any strange ties. If she had such intense emotions and was a noblewoman, it would be a difficult situation.
I felt a bit scared by those intense emotions, but at least even if Frau-san and Lute-sama become involved physically, I don’t think they will be used in a power struggle. The same goes for Viola-sama.
If her country was still intact, it wouldn’t be just a mere commotion… But now, she has been freed from the shackles of power.
…Instead, the real danger lies with that girl from Draconia, Fiine… and that maid named Beth, who was supposed to be with the Quartet and is now probably with Kanon-sama.
”Lute-sama doesn’t understand anything about women.”
See, as I suspected, he doesn’t get it. He must think the topic has subtly changed.
But we’ve been talking about the same thing all along.
”Regardless of status, women aren’t as innocent as men think, you know?”
We’re discussing the fact that there are too many women who have their eyes on Lute-sama. I’m warning him to be careful, as he might get involved in something dangerous. He doesn’t understand, right?
But how can I make him understand?
I’m really worried about it.
”If someone suddenly approaches you like this, can you properly reject them…?”
I’m trapped in this predicament… and I’ll end up causing trouble for Lute-sama.
”Wait… W-wait… Aria…!”
”I love you…”
I can’t take Lute-sama to a world like that, no matter what.
”I want to get married… to Lute-sama…”
”Even today, I was envious… I truly… want to be with Lute-sama…”
But, listening to Lute-sama’s heartbeat like this makes my heart waver. The scent of Lute-sama, like a tingling sensation at the back of my mind.
Even though I should have a high resistance to mana, there’s still a sensation breaking through.
”I love you so much…”
Lute-sama’s eyes are so beautiful. I feel like I’m being drawn in.
Lute-sama’s breath. Lute-sama’s warmth.
It feels good.
My heart felt like it was about to leap out of my mouth. I was more surprised than if I had been ambushed by an assassin from behind.
”F-Forte?! What… what are you doing here?!”
I was just teasing him a little, but somehow it turned into a real kiss. Phew… that was dangerous…
”S-Sorry… I was just worried… since you hadn’t come back to the room… I just…”
…So you were trying to go to Lute-sama’s house. Well, no wonder we bumped into each other. I was trying to go back to the church dormitory too. And how did we end up walking this far? The dormitory is just up ahead…
Being seen by everyone we know, it might have been better that it was Forte…
”D-Did… Did I interrupt something?”
”N-No, it’s not like that…”
Well, it’s not really like that——
”H-Hey, wait a minute… because you’re dressed like that, Aria-chan…”
”Ah… so coold…”
”Don’t sneeze on me!! Ahh!! Don’t wipe your runny nose on my sleeve!! I have a handkerchief, you know?!”
Here I am, in my pajamas, with a cardigan and slippers, in this cold air…
The way I dressed when I went out wasn’t exactly what I expected, but now I’m borrowing Lute-sama’s coat…
Because of that, I had to make Lute-sama wear an old coat.
”Um… if you don’t mind, please use it even though it’s old…”
”Huh… ah… well, but…”
”Please, go ahead.”
As I was wiping my runny nose, Lute-sama handed Forte his old coat he had been wearing. It was the coat he had been wearing until now. It’s a bit fuzzy, but it still looks warm.
”Um, um… well…”
”…Forte, use it.”
”Huh… ah… um, okay… t-thank you.”
…Lute-sama, I didn’t think you were the type of person to do something like this.
It’s kind of strange… he’s smiling and laughing.
And Forte is blushing and getting all flustered. Stop it, please. We just had a conversation about being careful with those things a moment ago.
”The next time, I’ll return it…”
”Oh no… It’s an old thing, so you can throw it away if you want…”
”I, I can’t do that!!”
Eh, is this really Lute-sama? Forte is getting redder and this, this is not good. Forte doesn’t have resistance to such things.
”U-Um… Well… uh…”
Why are you panicking? Be more composed. Just say thank you and smile a little, that should be enough.
”The dormitory is close by now, so you two should be fine, right?”
”Y-Yes… Th-That’s, of course.”
Both of us are divine princesses, after all. If we’re talking about combat, I’m more worried about Lute-sama.
Ah, damn it… What am I getting all frustrated for? Thinking of disregarding Lute-sama’s kindness for bringing me here…!
”U-Um… If you don’t mind… How about some tea… uh, well, it will get cold…”
Don’t you realize you’re inviting a man into your room, Forte ? It’s late at night, you know!? You aren’t that kind of girl!!
Ahh… I mean… Why… Why am I getting frustrated…?
Even Forte came all the way here to worry about me…!
”No, it’s not appropriate for me to intrude on a woman’s room at this time.”
”…….!! I-I’m sorry… I… I didn’t mean to…!!”
”Forte-sama, you are a kind person, aren’t you?”
My blood vessels are about to burst.
”Well then, I will take my leave now. Even though it’s just a dorm, please take care, both of you.”
Forte watched Lute-sama leave with a blank expression on her face.
I escorted Forte to the entrance of the room, but she continued to have an unsteady gait, making me worry.
Just before entering the room and closing the door, I caught a glimpse of Forte sniffing Lute-sama’s coat, while her steps were unsteady.
I stormed down the hallway in silence, kicking open the door to my room. I dove onto the bed, still wearing Lute-sama’s coat, and thrashed about.
”…I told you to be careful… and yet!!!!!!”
I threw a pillow against the wall with a loud boom and fumed in frustration.
”You don’t know anything!!! Idiot!!!!!!!!!”
Fuming, I discarded my clothes.
”Idiot!! Lute-sama’s idiot!!!”
Still irritated, I took a shower in my room.
”What’s the matter!!! Letting women attend to you like that!!! Trying to do something with Forte too!!!?”
I angrily brushed my teeth.
”What kind of treatment is that!!! It’s… indecent!!! If it’s so good for health, try it on me too!!!!”
I changed the water and food for the parakeet in my room, still irritated.
”Listen, Lute!!!! You’re such a womanizer!!!! I can’t believe it!!!! When did he become like that!!!! Ugh!!!!!”
My frustration echoed in the room, a continuous state of agitation.
”Lute!! That’s right!! Lute-sama!! Don’t call me that name now!! It hurts!! Just stop it!! Don’t bite me!!”
I engaged in a fight with that parakeet,
”It hurts!!! What’s wrong with you?! Even you have that kind of attitude?! After all the love I’ve given you!! You’re so ungrateful!!! You idiot!!”
But Lute!! You’re so cute!! I love you!!
”You’re so annoying!! I don’t like you!!”
Frustrated, I slammed the lights in the room and dove back into the bed,
”Oh, this is the worst…”
Realizing that I forgot to confirm things with Marcato, I feel even more down,
”What am I doing…”
Lute-sama’s coat, which I had thrown onto the floor next to the bed,
It bothers me,
”…hmph… enough… what is it…”
”Faa… ah… Lute-sama… yes…”
”Ah… ah… ahn…!”
”Lute-sama… Lute-sama… nn… ha… nn…”
”Ah… no… no no no… Lute-sama, no…!!”
”I love you!!”
”~~~~~~~~~ha! ha…! haah…”
”Haah… faaah… haah…”
”Suuu… haah… the scent of Lute-sama…”
”Do I have to return this?”
”Somehow, come up with an excuse, give a different one, maybe a present, right?”
Gotta talk about Marcato too, and invite to town on the next day off.
Yeah, that’s good.
Well, it’s not like it’s a date or anything, so it’s okay, right?
”…Good night, Lute.”
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.