Chapter 19 Even You, Any Version of You, Shines Brightly, Except for Me
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
There is a fatigue throughout my body…
I’ll write the details tomorrow; for now, let’s go to bed early today…
Anyway… I must express gratitude to Miss Forte…
The situation with Alto is also a concern. I should increase the frequency of visits.
Yesterday, I ended up spending the entire day sleeping. Viola and Frau scolded me vigorously for doing household chores in such a condition, as the damage from the day before lingered, and I was feeling dizzy.
It was probably a scolding because they cared about my well-being. I must once again express gratitude for their kindness and consideration.
By the way, I’ll briefly recount what happened the day before yesterday.
Firstly, regarding Divine Princess Marcato, it seems she believes Viola killed the templar. I’ll skip the details, but it shouldn’t be a significant problem if I thinks so. Let’s maintain the current situation for now and observe.
Furthermore, she, unexpectedly, tried to entangle me.
For the sake of her goal, she must continue to take action without hesitation. What concerns me is the video recording device that she tried to activate when she attempted to take action. I wonder if that device is recording the presence of me and Marcato… Well, there’s no point in worrying about it now. Whether it’s captured or not, I’m sure Marcato will contact me again.
Next is Oratorio. It’s the Draconia that Divine Princess Marcato brought. I can diagnose that he is completely infatuated with Marcato’s mana. I have doubts about whether a body that small has reproductive capabilities, but according to Marcato, it seems like he has been ej***ng, so perhaps the physical structure and growth of Draconia are different from humans after all.
And it seems that Draconia’s mana is different from that of humans, just as I suspected… thanks to that, I had a terrible experience. However, there was one good thing. I am now able to confidently refuse Fiine’s offer, using this incident as a shield.
I still haven’t told Fiine about this… But how should I bring it up? I should think about it a little more before speaking.
Lastly, Miss Forte. It seems she rescued me from Marcato’s mansion and treated me without asking for anything in return.
”Seems” is because my memory is vague and I don’t remember anything clearly. However, there is no doubt that she somehow saved me from my predicament.
I was in a terrible state before she rescued me, but when I woke up the next morning, I had recovered enough to stand and walk. Truly befitting of a Divine Princess.
The method of treatment is said to be a closely guarded secret, so I didn’t pursue it any further. But I wonder if she would tell me if I asked a little more… There is a possibility that something similar to what happened with Marcato could happen in the future, leaving me completely defenseless. If possible, I would like to be able to handle it myself.
…DI wonder if Aria, the Divine Princess, knows how to do that.
But, Miss Forte asked me not to tell anyone about this incident…
Well, it’s natural since there is a possibility of it being exposed to Marcato.
In order to repay my debt to her, I must keep this secret.
However, as she slowly regained consciousness, it seemed like she was crying a lot…
(The diary ends there, but there are marks of pen tapping as if thinking about something.)
* * *
——Knock knock! A sound echoed from the entrance, and I jumped up with goosebumps all over my body.
”Forte? It’s me, Aria.”
”…Hmm, can you open the door for me?”
This is bad.
This is bad, bad, bad.
”W-Wait a moment! I’ll… I’ll open it right away!!”
What should I do?
What should I do, what should I do, what should I do…
For now… a mirror…
T-Towel!! Where’s the towel!!
”Yes!!! Wait!! Just wait a moment!!!”
U-Underwear…I don’t have any!!!
Under Lute-sama’s bed!? Ah, they’re gone!!!
Anyway, I-I’ll make do with this!!!
”What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
”I-I-I’m fine!!! I’m absolutely fine!!”
I don’t have one!!!
I can’t wait any longer!!!
It’s all my fault!!
Even though I left a message and I know that Aria-chan was supposed to come to my room!!!
Wait, the smell!!
The smell in this room is awful!!
There was perfume!!
”Yes!! Yes, yes, yes!! I’m opening it now!! Right now!!”
Tightening the belt at my waist, tucking my hair behind my ear, wiping my sticky face as I run, throwing the towel far away, spraying perfume over my head… Okay.
”……U-Um, yes… Good evening…”
Gasping for rough breaths, I opened the front door just a little, peeking my face.
”What’s… What’s wrong?”
Aria-chan’s eyes, staring at me, were widened, and my disheveled hair reflected in those round eyes.
”…Are you feeling unwell?”
”Uh, y-yeah… I-I have a fever…”
”I see, your face is all red…? Is your condition really bad? Are you okay?”
Actually, my health might be the best it’s ever been. And my mana is rushing through my body with tremendous force.
”I-It’s okay… Don’t worry… I’ll get better soon…”
”I-Is that true? By the way, were you in the bath with that condition? Just in a bathrobe…”
”N-No, this is… um… because I was sweating a lot… so I can change quickly…”
”I see. Hey… Are you really okay? Should I make you some food? I can clean your room too…”
At those words, my lungs unconsciously took in a sharp breath.
When I realized it, I was screaming out loud, to my surprise.
”Ah, I’m… I’m sorry! Th-that’s not it… If Aria-chan catches a cold, it would be terrible! I-I’m really okay! Don’t worry about me, okay!?”
”I-I see…? If you say so… I won’t force you, but…”
I’m sorry, Aria-chan…
I’m really sorry…
”I’m sorry for bothering you when you’re not feeling well, Forte… But there’s something I want to ask…”
As soon as she said that, I saw Aria-chan’s face almost on the verge of tears, and I felt a wave of guilt welling up in my chest, almost crushing my heart.
”Earlier today… Was it you who left a message at the fountain in the square?”
W-what should I do…
W-what should I say…
I have no choice but to lie…
”Do you know where Lute-sama went, Forte?”
He’s… right behind me.
”Today, we had plans to meet up, you know? But when I went to the meeting spot, Lute-sama didn’t show up. And then, I found a short message from the Divine Princess at the fountain…”
”I went to his house, but he still hasn’t come back. Forte, where is Lute-sama? And it said something about urgent protection…”
I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to do something like this…
”He went to Marcato-sama’s place…”
Wait… Why did I say that, I’m such an idiot…!!
”What does this mean?! Did Lute-sama head to Marcato’s place?! Why?!”
”I… I don’t know…”
”Is he safe?! Why didn’t you stop him?!”
”I… I did stop him! But…”
”…!? Did he tell you not to follow him?!”
”Y-Yes… Yes, he did!”
I felt a sudden chill as I watched Aria-chan turn around and start running. I’m going. To Marcato’s place.
”D-Don’t… don’t worry… H-he’ll definitely be back home by tomorrow morning…”
Aria-chan, who had stopped abruptly with her back turned, radiated an intense killing intent.
I’m so sorry…
She won’t turn around. Clenching her fist tightly, I can feel Aria-chan’s overwhelming anger.
Well, of course…
She was looking forward to today’s promise so much…
And it had to be disrupted by Marcato… Moreover… the lie I told… it’s terrible, isn’t it… Spending a night with Marcato…
”…If Lute-sama doesn’t return home by tomorrow morning, I’ll go to Marcato’s place.”
”I, I’ll go too…”
”…Sorry for not feeling well.”
With Aria-chan sighing deeply and uttering those words, a feeling as if my heart was being gouged emerged…
I truly, truly felt like I had done something awful…
”Get well soon.”
Lute-sama’s fluids flowing down, and I couldn’t help but be concerned. I was always worried that she would be discovered by my scent.
As I fidgeted and rubbed my inner thighs together, a slippery sensation spread through me, and it felt good, and my body became hotter and hotter.
I lean my back against the closed door and cup it with my fingers…
As soon as I brought it to my nose, the sensations from earlier came vividly back to me…
I shouldn’t do this anymore, even though I think that in my head…
Slowly, my body moves, and I approach Lute-sama, who is still struggling to breathe.
Surely, I must be making a terrible expression right now.
Betraying my friends, betraying the one I had fleeting feelings for, yielding to desire…
When I see Lute-sama’s glistening with my love juices, I can’t resist any longer.
I crawl on all fours between Lute-sama’s legs, bringing my nose closer to the smell.
The intense scent.
A mixture of my love fluids and Lute-sama’s body fluids.
I’ve stirred them together inside me so many times that I can no longer distinguish which is which.
It feels good.
It feels so good.
But… my voice is spinning in my head.
He has done this many times with Frau-san, right?
And with Marcato too, right?
Surely, with someone as wonderful as Lute-sama, they’ve done it many times before, haven’t they?
Maybe, with Aria-chan already…
”Mmm… lick… haah… ahh…”
I’ll do it for one night…
Please forgive me, okay?
There’s no other choice.
Lute-sama seemed to be in pain… I wanted to make it easier for him…
At first, I tried using my hand, but it didn’t get softer at all… However, every time he released, Lute-sama’s condition seemed to calm down…
”Mmm… nggh… ngghh… slurp… puhaa…”
At first, it was out of curiosity.
I wondered what would happen if I used my mouth…
I couldn’t help but want to try it.
By that time, my hands were already sticky, and I had sniffed the smell of Lute-sama’s bodily fluids over and over again, making my private area become wet and sloppy…
I timidly licked it… and Lute-sama’s twitched… It seemed very pleasurable…
”Lick… suck… suck… lick…”
When I was completely absorbed, something sudden was released into my mouth. It tasted bitter and strange, yet it became addictive…
I want more, I want more…
Within that thought, doing it myself feels so good…”
”Ha… haaa… Lute-sama… aah…”
I know it’s wrong. I know this is a crime.
I thought I could endure just by rubbing against Lute-sama’s, but…
”Mmm… nnn… fuaaa…”
Squelch… as soon as the tip entered… Lute-sama’s moved deeper into me…
”A… ugh… uugh… ugaa…”
With a tearing sensation as something broke, I completely flipped the switch.
It was painful at first. I didn’t know what felt good. Despite inserting Lute-sama’s all the way to the back and it being painful, I couldn’t move at all.
”A… u… a… a…”
Every time Lute-sama’s twitches inside, it becomes more and more pleasurable…
I moved my hips fearfully, and nothing else came to mind except for Lute-sama’s thing.
How many times have I accepted Lute-sama’s bodily fluids within me?
Lute-sama’s thing that rubs against me is incredibly large, hard, and even breathing is difficult,
It feels good.
It feels good, it feels good, it feels so good…
I can’t stop moving my hips.
Being thrust deep inside, the sensation of the walls being scraped, the feeling of being pushed and pulled, it’s unbelievably pleasurable.
Even though Aria-chan has returned.
If she were to return to my room right now, she might hear my moans.
”Ah… it feels good… it feels so good…”
I want it deeper.
I want it stronger.
Desperately thrusting my hips and pounding my lower region, the heat doesn’t diminish at all.
Even when pushing against the deepest part and stirring it inside, the desire doesn’t subside.
The bracelet… the bracelet…
What was on Lute-sama’s arms… It looked like an accessory, but it was a miniaturized mana contrl device… Why… why is this happening…
”Release it… Lute-sama… release it…”
It’s not until the moment of release inside that I can climax. Even though it feels so good, my head feels like it’s going crazy, but it’s only at the moment of release that I can climax. Pleasure relentlessly accumulates, and if it continues like this, I’ll truly go mad.
This person… Lute-sama… has Incubus Syndrome… I didn’t notice just by removing the bracelet… because I was Divine Princess, and my resistance was half-hearted… receiving it orally, receiving it inside… wrapped in a sensation of not being myself, I finally realized it when it was too late…
”Faaa… uuu… release it…”
The moment of release, that pleasure piercing through the body and hitting the head. The joy spreading throughout the body from that impact.
Once, in just an instant, I had become addicted to the pleasure of receiving Lute-sama’s bodily fluids inside me.
What intense mana.
My brain went numb, my body convulsed, and my groin burned, yet I couldn’t stop the urge to seek Lute-sama’s bodily fluids. Lute-sama’s white fluids, which had been packed inside me, foamed and overflowed with every repeated insertion.
At first, he used to release it faster.
At first, I used to climax more easily….
”Ah… ah… ah… ahhhhh…”
I want it!!
Lute-sama’s… Lute-sama’s semen….
”Ahhhh… fahhhh… release it… quickly…”
I desire it….
I want it so much….
A lot of it.
Until Lute-sama is emptied….
I felt my body respond as Lute-sama’s member grew noticeably larger.
The rhythmic bouncing of Lute-sama’s intensified movements caused intense spasms each time, prompting me to instinctively cling to Lute-sama.
”Ah… ahh… ah… uahhh…”
It feels like it’s not my own body. Desperately, the entity within me, eager to consume Lute-sama’s ej***e, convulses and makes desperate noises as if trying to gulp it down.
Squeezing it down.
Still, I want more, I crave more.
The pleasure is overwhelming, and I can’t stop the tears from streaming down. My mind is blank, and the sensation of my voice only faintly reaching my ears feels strange.
It’s going to be strange.
This is strange.
I don’t know this feeling.
I’ve never experienced anything so pleasurable.
I want Lute-sama.
I want to monopolize him.
It’s fine even while eating or bathing.
I want him to stay inside me even while sleeping.
I don’t want him to be with other women.
I’ll do my best.
Even naughty things, I’ll work hard to become good at them. Whenever Lute-sama wants, anytime, anywhere, I’ll respond.
”Haa… Haa… Haa… It’s painful… Haa…”
Because I’ve saved up, it’s fine, right? I’ve always worked seriously. If we live modestly, even the two of us can get by with Lute-sama.
”Haa… Fuu… Fuuu…”
If I continue like this… if I just kidnap him and run away…. If I kidnap and run away like this, lying to Lute-sama, deceiving… Just the two of us.
…Let’s run away.
That’s right, let’s escape. Let’s go far away from the Imperial Kingdom, to a country where no one knows the existence of the Divine Princess.
I don’t want war anymore. I’m sorry, not again.
I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore. I don’t want to kill anyone anymore. It was impossible, the Divine Princess was not for me.
What I needed was not a sword, not magic, nothing.
It was Lute-sama. This person will make me happy.
It supports my weak heart.
He makes me feel at ease, makes me feel good, and loves me a lot.
In exchange for that love, I should dedicate everything to Lute-sama.
Yes, I don’t want to anymore. I don’t want to be the Divine Princess in this country anymore.
I want to be happy. I don’t want to take away someone else’s happiness anymore.
”Hmm… ah… fah…”
No matter how hard I try, no one praises me from the bottom of their heart. All I get are scornful eyes, hateful eyes, and the empty eyes of the person who manipulated my heart. I’m talked about behind my back, rumors are spread, and even my friends from my hometown no longer contact me.
Even someone like me knows how the Divine Princesses are being talked about. Prostitutes of heaven. God’s harlots. Succubi disguised as angels.
”Ah… yah… uah…”
But I just want too fall in love normally. Get married normally. Have children normally. Become a normal old lady. Just die normally.
I wanted normal. I didn’t want this.
I can’t take it anymore… No, I’ve always been at my limit.
If I don’t escape from here, I’ll shatter. Anywhere but here is fine. Anyone who can take me away is fine.
”Feels… good… so good… Lute-sama…”
And Lute-sama would allow it. He surely would. This person is kind. Absolutely kind.
He wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. Even someone like me, he’d accept with a smile. Definitely.
”Lute-sama… Lute-sama… more… please more…”
It would be strange otherwise. Absolutely strange. Why has such a kind and wonderful person appeared before me now?
Why has someone who seems willing to accept the me who was at my limit appeared now? Such an ideal man—unmarried, without rumors of a lover, talented, high in status in the Imperial Kingdom.
It was fate.
I became a divine princess in the faraway hometown to meet Lute-sama. Otherwise, there’s no way someone like me would become a divine princess.
”Ah… ah… ah…”
It wasn’t a lie.
Even if our bodies are connected, it’s true that our hearts are connected.
I love you.
Right now, I absolutely love Lute-sama.
It’s not a lie.
You believe me, right?
You believe me, right, Lute-sama?
”Ugh… ah… h-here… this feeling…”
I’ll give you everything.
I’ll give you my everything.
You can do whatever you want with my body.
And my heart will only look at you.
I will never, never cheat on you with another man.
So, please, believe in my love.
Please, believe in my feelings for you.
I’ll show you.
I’ll show you just how much I love you, so believe.
If you don’t believe me…
If you don’t believe me…
Until you believe me…
”…Did you fall asleep?”
”…Are you awake?”
”…I made porridge for you.”
”…I’ll leave it by the door.”
”…Memo… I wonder if I can find it if I put it in there?”
”…Good night, Forte.”
”Get better soon…”
Stop it, Aria-chan.
It’s really impossible.
It makes me cry.
Someone like me…
”No… nooo… noo, please…”
I thought I was doing it for someone.
I thought I was helping someone.
I worked hard, desperately lived every day, convinced that it was something only I could do.
I praised myself for trying hard, believed in my pure self, tried to be righteous.
But now, I’m ugly.
I didn’t want to be this ugly.
I didn’t know I could be this ugly.
”No… no… ugh…”
What am I doing?
Why am I doing this?
Where did my old self go?
”I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”
I’m an idiot.
I’m such an idiot.
I’m really, truly an idiot.
”I don’t want to… I don’t want to…”
What’s the point?
What’s the right thing to do?
What can I do to make it easier?
What’s the Divine Princess?
There’s no way this is good.
”Ugh… ugh… ugh…”
I want to die.
I’ll apologize through death.
I need to write a will and apologize.
To Aria-chan, Frau-san, and Lute-sama.
I can’t do it in my room.
It will surprise Lute-sama and inconvenience everyone.
Far away, in a place where beasts devour corpses, I will choose death.
I must reveal the truth to my family in my hometown, that I am a rapist.
So that my family can feel relieved that such a scum is dead.
So that no one mourns my death.
Well, there are only a few people who would mourn my death, I can count them on one hand.
I’m not afraid.
Someone like me, who has no worth in living, it’s alright.
I’m not scared…
Lute-sama is barely conscious, isn’t he?
His focus is off,
His face is pale,
His outstretched hand is trembling,
But why is that?
Why, Aria-chan, Lute-sama, why would you do such a thing?
How can you do such a thing?
”Are you… alright…?”
Do you understand?
Are being r*ped by me.
Don’t you find it strange?
There’s a discomfort in your lower body, right?
Stupid, worthless, selfish me, my body is hopeless and still trembling, seeking your support.
Softly, his trembling hands wipe the tears flowing down my cheeks,
Though I shouldn’t know what’s okay,
Though I don’t understand anything.
Before I knew it,
My heart had surely broken just a while ago,
”It’ll be alright……”
With all the suffering until now, all the pain until now, all the actions until now,
My heart, which had long reached its limit,
Clings onto gentle men who appear before my eyes, holding onto fleeting feelings like straw,
As a result, I betrayed the only remaining friend,
Unable to look away from the fact that I myself am committing r*pe,
With a loud crash… even though it should be completely broken,
Saying that, I look at Lute-sama’s face, smiling.
Saying that, I immediately see Lute-sama’s face, who has lost consciousness.
It felt as if a spell had been cast, and our hearts were inexplicably drawn together.
Even though nothing seemed to have changed,
it truly became okay.
For the first time in my life,
I felt like I understood what it meant to fall in love with someone.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.