Chapter 20 My Heart Belongs to You
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
February 20th
…I caught a cold.
Even though I wasn’t feeling well, it seems that resuming Viola’s treatment and confidently declaring that everything will be fine has caused significant damage.
How can I speak of returning Viola to her original state when I can’t even manage my own health?
(It seems that I’ve been pausing here for a long time, and the pages are slightly distorted from the sweat that has seeped from my hands.)
…Suddenly, something caught my attention.
Why was Fiine able to take in my bodily fluids without any problem?
Is it because the mana in Draconia is more powerful?
I thought so… but what if it’s not the case?
If, just if, what I’ve just thought is not off the mark,
Is it possible to move Viola’s legs, which have been completely shattered even in terms of mana circuits?
Because Fiine…
But, that alone is not enough yet…
(At that point, the diary abruptly ends, and the pages are distorted again.)
* * *
Fiine, Oratorio, two Draconias.
Their power is immense.
I heard a story that the walls of Divine Princess Marcato’s mansion were blown away just by Oratorio’s roar.
Even though it’s a young body, it’s terrifying.
…
But is there any way to make use of it somehow?
I can’t possibly kidnap anyone with my own power.
Besides, the fact that Oratorio is infatuated with Marcato and Fiine is infatuated with Lute-sama makes it highly unlikely that the two of them would listen to my request.
I don’t have the confidence to persuade Lute-sama either.
He wouldn’t have any obligation to do such a favor for me.
…
Wait,
What about the Mother Dragon…?
…
The sanctuary of the former kingdom…
Is the Mother Dragon still there, waiting for her children…?
* * *
I saw it.
I didn’t mean to.
I’ve been agonizing over it for a long time, finally made up my mind, and thought of going home to apologize properly.
But…
I saw it.
That… that thing…
Envious.
Envious, envious, envious.
Envious, envious, envious, envious, envious, envious.
I also…
I wonder if I could be included as well.
Somehow…
I wonder if I could be included somehow…
I trembled while hugging my knees under the window, listening in secret all the time.
I probably have a rough idea of what they are doing.
I want to be among them too.
I want to touch him.
I want to embrace him.
I want to be embraced by him.
I can’t imagine a life without him anymore.
It’s okay if I’m not the number one.
I just want to live by his side.
And yet…
Why am I…”
* * *
”Oh, Frau-chan! You look cute today too!”
”Ahaha… Hello, auntie. What’s on sale today?”
”All the root vegetables are cheap. This year’s harvest is exceptional. No matter how much we sell, it doesn’t bring in much money. It’s a bountiful but poor year.”
Indeed, root vegetables are cheap this year. Many of them are almost half the usual price. As someone who receives living expenses from Lute-sama, it’s a great help.
”Was the weather really that good this year? It didn’t seem particularly hot or cold…”
”Do you mean a good harvest? Well, the weather doesn’t matter.”
”?”
I tilt my head slightly at the words of the old lady at the vegetable shop, then pick up the daikon radish that was lined up on the shelf. It feels heavy and looks delicious.
How should I eat it? I could make it into soup, or maybe a salad. What should I do with the stems and leaves? Should I cook them with rice, or stir-fry them as a side dish?
”I heard there are no rats this year.”
”Rats?”
”Yeah, usually they make nests in the fields and nibble on the root vegetables. But I haven’t seen any since around summer this year.”
Rats, huh… Come to think of it, I haven’t seen them at Lute-sama’s house either. I remember… Duke (rat’s name), was it?
I remember Lute-sama used to put food in front of the burrow and stare at it. I really like that Lute-sama. He’s like a little boy full of excitement.
”But isn’t that bad? Rats eat insects and stuff, right?”
”Yeah, thanks to that, the leafy vegetables have been quite damaged. They’re much more expensive compared to root vegetables, right?”
”…That’s true.”
”I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m a little worried. It’s annoying when there are mouse, but it feels really strange when there aren’t any.”
A strange feeling, huh… Well, as long as I don’t leave the house, I don’t really mind. It’s not like I particularly dislike them.
”You know, they say that before natural disasters, mouse and frogs flee from the city in large numbers. They have a sense that humans don’t understand.”
…Natural disasters, huh… Like volcanic eruptions… or storms…? But even so, mouse have been disappearing since summer, right? Summer… Summer…
…Huh?
”Frau-chan, are you being cautious too? If it turns out to be unnecessary worry, then that’s fine.”
”Y-yeah…”
”Is this everything you’re buying?”
”Um… well, then, those potatoes too.”
”One?”
”No, two.”
”Alright, thank you as always!”
Speaking of summer, around that time, Viola-sama came to Lute-sama’s house.
…No, it’s probably unrelated.
If that were the case, it would mean Viola-sama is a natural disaster.
When I first met Viola-sama, she was incredibly powerful in the kingdom. But it would be disrespectful to treat her as a disaster just because of that. If we talk about natural disasters, Fiine-chan, who is currently at Lute-sama’s house, is more like a force of nature in terms of existence.
But well, in a way, Viola-sama is like a disaster to me. She’s just too beautiful, almost unreal.
I have some confidence in my own appearance, but Viola-sama’s beauty is on a different level. It’s like she’s transcended being human. Ah… I guess this is what they call the golden ratio. That’s what I feel when I look at Viola-sama.
She has long, upward-pointing eyelashes, elegant eyebrows that don’t need any grooming, silky beautiful hair, and a perfectly shaped head. Her eyes are so captivating, her lips take on a soft peach color, and her skin is white. She has a slender neck, delicate shoulders, modest yet well-defined breasts, a slim waist, and long, slender limbs.
Even her nails are perfect. I wonder what she’s made of. Maybe she’s the only one in this world who was crafted by the hands of a god.
And on top of that, she’s overflowing with talent.
Completely flawless, I think it’s a word that exists for Viola-sama, really.
I wish she could move her hands faster.
And her legs too…
But Lute-sama seems to have some ideas for treatment for her legs already.
…And how does Viola-sama, who has gained newfound freedom, move?
I want to see.
I want to see it soon…
”…Hm?”
On the way back from the grocery store, while walking and thinking about Viola-sama, I noticed a familiar figure near the row of clothing stores in the town.
A men’s coat displayed in the store window.
It has a calm color tone of pale gray, and the design is sophisticated and cool.
That figure stands there, holding a small bag behind her back, gazing intently at that coat.
”Aria-sama…”
It’s Aria-sama.
Black hair with a glossy shine that complements Viola-sama’s silver hair.
It reaches her shoulders, and even the slightest movement of Aria-sama makes it shimmer and sway beautifully.”
I stared at her expressionless face as she looked at the coat. At times, it gave off a slightly stern impression, but I knew that her face would soften with a smile.
The day before yesterday, when she suddenly visited the house, she said, “I came to check if Lute-sama had returned from Marcato’s place.” She was dressed in her Divine Princess attire, but today she was in casual clothes.
She wore a gray long knit as a substitute for a coat, with a black sweater that had a wide neckline and white pants. The overall subdued colors of her outfit matched Aria-sama’s hair color and made her look very mature. The pattern on her bag was a flashy floral design, which seemed to go well with her red mid-heeled shoes.
…It’s supposed to be just one or two differences between us… but somehow, fashion can be so cruel. If I were to walk alongside Aria-sama, I would look really plain. Maybe I should buy clothes like that too… but my hair color… and my height… if only I were a little taller…
”Ah…”
”Oh, hello?”
I was so absorbed in staring that Aria-sama noticed me.
So, she noticed my gaze even though there’s quite a distance between us. Truly worthy of being Divine Princess… I can’t afford to be thinking leisurely about this. What should I do… what should I talk about? It would be rude to just keep watching from afar…
”Um, hello…”
”Hello, are you shopping for dinner?”
”Y-yes… are you also shopping, Aria-sama?”
When I approached Aria-sama and asked, she briefly glanced at the men’s coats in the shop window.
”…No, I’m just browsing today… but I’m not sure what to do.”
Coats…
Coats, huh…
I remember Lute-sama saying that he lent both coats to Aria-sama and Forte-sama…
I wonder what happened to the coat that Aria-sama took with her.
Come to think of it, she didn’t return it when she came to the house the day before yesterday.
Did she forget? Or maybe she stained it or something?
If she tells me, I can get it cleaned…
But if I ask, it might come off as pushy…
”Are you looking for a coat?”
”Huh? …U-um, yes… well, just a little.”
”Hmm?”
So, it’s a men’s coat, huh?
”Is it a present?”
For her father or something.
”Eh!? Wh-why!?”
”Huh?”
…Why such a reaction?
”Why… because you saw the men’s coat…”
”Oh, right… I see… because it’s a men’s coat…”
Why is her face turning red…
…Haha, I see.
”Could it be… is it for a lover?”
As soon as I said that.
”HUH!?!”
And I was fiercely scolded.
”Ah… I-I’m sorry…”
”Oh, s-sorry… it’s not… I’m not angry.”
S-Scary…
Aria-sama looks so intimidating when she’s angry.
But she doesn’t have to be that mad…
…No, but, could it be… is she just embarrassed?
…When I think about it, it seems really cute.
”Well, then, for your father or something…?”
If it’s not a lover, that’s the only thing I can think of.
I guess she wouldn’t give a coat as a gift for work-related reasons.
Moreover, this coat, as I got closer and saw the price tag, has an absurdly high price. If it’s such a good item, it wouldn’t be strange for someone like Maraketh-sama, who has a high status, to wear it.
”…That person wouldn’t wear something like this, you know?”
”Hu, huh…is that so…”
Well then…
Could it be that she would wear it herself? As a beautiful woman in men’s clothing, it might suit Aria-sama quite well. As a woman, she is quite tall, and Aria-sama’s face is so well-proportioned that it wouldn’t be strange to say she’s handsome.
And this coat, the more I look at it, the cooler it seems. It suits slim men more than those with sturdy builds, like this. Wasn’t Maraketh-sama’s hair gray? …It would suit Maraketh-sama as well, but… if I had to choose…someone with black hair is better.
”Ah… this coat…”
Somehow…
”If Lute-sama were to wear it, he would look so cool…”
”~~~~~~~~~!”
….
……..
……….hmm?
”……”
Why did she look away?
Her face is red too.
”……”
”……”
Huh?
…..
No, no,
”……”
”……”
Huh? Isn’t it different?
Is it just a misunderstanding?
…..
I’ve been quite paranoid lately.
I have this habit of immediately connecting everything to Lute-sama.
Thinking that every woman in this world is targeting Lute-sama.
No, no, it’s not true.
Not at all…
”……Th-this coat”
”……”
But she’s blushing like that…
”……I guess I’ll buy it and take it home”
”……”
Saying that, Aria-sama went straight into the store,
”……”
And the coat disappeared from the shop window,
”……”
As Aria-sama came out, ringing the doorbell,
Her face was even redder, dyed in the orange sunset.
”……”
”……”
Aria-sama quickly looked away when she saw me, who probably had a pale face,
”……”
”……Me too.”
The gaze that quickly returned had a scary intensity, as if it harbored a strong will.
”……”
”I also thought this coat would suit Lute-sama…”
No, it’s no good.
”……”
”Thank you… I’ve made up my mind to buy it.”
No, it’s no good.
Absolutely not.
Absolutely, absolutely not.
”……”
”…Next time, I think I’ll visit Lute-sama’s house again.”
It has to be Viola-sama.
I won’t accept anyone other than Viola-sama.
Only Viola-sama is good.
I’ll support only Viola-sama’s love.
Because she allows my existence.
”……”
”…Well then… I’m going.”
If it’s not like that…
”……”
”…See you later.”
If it’s not like that, I’ll have nowhere to belong.
Please, I beg you.
Don’t take Lute-sama away from me.
* * *
”……”
”……”
…Why aren’t either of them saying anything?
Well, I understand why Lute isn’t speaking.
Lute had been talking to her about various things at first. No matter how many times he spoke or asked, the Divine Princess with the blue hair just blushed and looked down, leaving him at a loss for words.
”…”
”…”
This Forte. She said she treated Lute, who was abducted by Marcato… But something seems off, doesn’t it?
(…I wonder what it could be… What is it?)
After whispering to me by my side, Frau, “Shh!!” I peeked at the two from behind the scenes again. It was the evening of the second day since Lute fell ill.
Somehow, Divine Princess Forte was standing in front of the entrance, looking down, with a large assortment of fruits, discovered by Frau returning from shopping.
Last time, she was dressed in the Divine Princess’s attire, but today she was in casual clothes. The knee-length blue-green sweater dress with a wide high neck is cute.
In the black tights and burnt-brown boots,
The necklace swaying around her neck is also tasteful, and upon closer inspection, this person is incredibly beautiful.
Whether it’s Frau, Aria-san, Beth, Kanon-san, or Fiine… why is it that all these cute girls gather around Lute?
It’s not like he’s a sugar-covered ant, so please give me a break.
”Uh, um…”
Lute, who is still sitting up in bed, spoke again without learning his lesson.
You’re amazing, Lute.
Please find a way to extract information.
Right now, both Frau and I are feeling a tremendous sense of distrust towards that Divine Princess.
”Did I… do something that made you feel uncomfortable?”
”~~~~~”
Divine Princess Forte, who briefly glanced up at Lute with a troubled expression, tightly gripped her hand on her knee and blushed even more as she looked down.
What’s with that expression?
It’s way too obvious.
What on earth happened?
That night… something definitely happened.
That’s all I can think of.
”If that’s the case…”
”N-No, that’s not it!!”
Forte stood up with a loud noise and looked straight at Lute with a face on the verge of tears.
”I’m the one who should apologize… I-I… it’s my fault…”
As she tightly held her hand in front of her chest, she began to tremble. Lute, who was watching her, had a bewildered expression.
”S-Something terrible… I did something terrible to Lute-sama…”
”Something terrible…?”
…….
I have a really bad feeling about this.
A really bad feeling.
…….
On that day…
Lute said that he had been infused with mana by Oratorio, a Draconia at Marcato’s place.
He then fell into a state of unconsciousness.
Hey.
Isn’t that possibly mana addiction?
Lute’s might be a transient condition caused by abnormal mana, but Frau’s strange behavior was also due to chronic mana addiction, right?
…Actually, I tried not to think about it too much.
That girl,
She treated Lute, didn’t she?
Did she extract mana from inside his body?
…
No… I’m probably overthinking, right? I didn’t realize I was quite negative. There’s no need to always think in a negative way.
Don’t worry too much.
I’m feeling anxious because I don’t want someone to take Lute away from me.
”Please don’t cry like that… What should I do…”
Forte, who covered her face with both hands, stood still and continued crying for a while.
Something must have shocked her.
Or maybe Lute did something that shocked her so much. Just when I thought it might be better not to peek at Forte’s figure, which was so unbearable.
”Miss Forte… It’s okay.”
The moment Lute said that, Forte showed a strong reaction.
She raised her tear-stained face, opened her mouth wide, and stared at Lute, freezing her body.
In an instant, her face turned red, and it was clear from her stuttering attempts to speak that she was in a state of mild panic. Her actions showed her panic, as her hand trembled and reached out towards Lute, only to quickly retreat back to her chest. She glanced at Lute with upturned eyes, as if trying to touch him again.
”What… What’s wrong?”
Lute asked, his expression filled with confusion as he looked at Forte’s hand, which had finally grabbed onto the hem of his clothes.
(?!)
(Eek! Nooo!)
”N… No…”
Forte’s voice trembled.
In the next moment, Forte jumped into Lute’s chest and hugged him tightly.
”F-Forte-sama…?”
Lute stuttered, his chest in disarray.
Within Lute’s flustered embrace, Forte rubbed her forehead against his chest.
Forte, who continued to groan as if she had forgotten words, had a face that was turning red as if it were about to burst into flames. However, she never tried to let go of Lute.
Lute also seemed unsure whether he should let go of Forte, as he stopped moving with his hand hovering in the air around Forte’s shoulder.
”What’s wrong…?”
There’s nothing wrong, you idiot. This absurdity. Are you really wearing the mana control properly? Is the switch turned off or something? Are you attracting girls without even trying?
And on top of that, they’re all beautiful as if they’re being targeted.
”Lute-sama… Lute-sama…”
(Ughhh!!)
(Frau!! Stop!!)
(Ughhhh!!)
(What do you think!!! Frau!! Frau!!!!!!)
(But… but…)
In an instant, my wheelchair slid in front of Frau, desperately trying to stop her movements in a low voice.
Frau avoided me for a moment and tried to rush into the room, but when she saw Lute gently put his hand on Forte’s shoulder, she stopped moving, grinding her teeth.
…
Frau, what expression are you making?”
This child never takes such an attitude towards me, so I thought that this emotion was lacking.
…
But why am I okay?
…No, but, now that I think about it, it wasn’t like this from the beginning…
…But still, one thing after another, what is it?
”Really… What’s wrong…?”
”Ugh… S-Sorry… I’m… I’m sorry… I… I…”
Forte slowly raised her face while still blushing.
”Miss Forte…?”
”I…”
After staring at each other for a long time…
”I love you…”
However, she said it firmly and looked straight into Lute’s eyes.
”…”
”…”
I could tell that Frau’s body suddenly lost strength beside me.
Ah… Me too.
”…Huh…?”
”I love you.”
”……”
”I like Lute-sama.”
”W-What… What…”
”I like you.”
”~~~~~!?”
”……”
This is the worst.
Why…
……
I knew it.
I already knew, but I didn’t expect it to be so straightforward.
This girl is usually timid… but once she starts moving, she doesn’t stop.
”M-Miss Forte…”
”Please call me Forte. I don’t like the ‘miss’ honorific.”
”~~~~~…”
Moreover, this girl, once she starts moving, she accelerates.
Forte presses her forehead against Lute’s chest and murmurs, and her expression has such an impact that even I, as a woman, feel my heart pounding faster.
”N-No… um…”
”I-I… I…”
Lute’s face is bright red.
He didn’t want anyone else to see it.
That expression on Lute… I really didn’t want to see it unless it was me.
…If it were Frau, well… it would be fine.
”I’ve never felt this way before… I… I love Lute-sama…”
…That’s just…
”Ah, my head… feels like it’s going crazy… It’s painful… I want to see Lute-sama…”
I feel the same way…
Stop it…
That’s not fair…
”Miss… Forte… I…”
”Please call me Forte.”
”~~~~~”
”Calling me by my name… is fine…”
It’s unfair to cut in like that…
Suddenly appearing and taking Lute away, that’s just cruel…
I’ve been desperately trying to convey my love all this time…
Because I love him so much that words alone can’t express it…
I’ve been thinking about how to convey my feelings…
And yet, she just straightforwardly express them like that, it’s unfair…
…
After thinking all that…
Ah, I realized it’s no different from what I’m doing to Frau…
Well then… I can’t say anything anymore…
I’m such a fool…
”I… don’t have any value to be called ‘Miss’…”
What does that mean?
Does she dislike being called Miss… because she want to become closer?
To say that there is no value… it’s like belittling oneself…
”I’m the worst… I’m trash… I’m an utterly hopeless idiot…”
She started speaking as if a dam had burst, and once she started moving, she couldn’t stop.
”I… I’ve fallen in love this much… It’s… my first time…”
I can feel the strength in the arm she wrapped around Lute’s back.
As if she’s afraid, afraid of being separated.
”Why… why am I…?”
Why…
”…Miss Forte-sama”
”…”
Why am I so tainted?
”Lute-sama”
Why couldn’t I meet while still pure?
”You can kill me if you want”
”…”
Even though I want to dedicate everything to Lute…
”I… I r**ed Lute-sama”
”……huh…?”
I want everything to belong to Lute.
”That night… Because of the influence of Oratorio’s Mana…”
Why is there nothing left for me anymore?
”I… r**ed Lute-sama…”
”……”
I don’t even remember who took it from me.
”All through the night… All through the night… I was only thinking about Lute-sama…”
”~~~~~~~~”
I don’t remember how many people attacked me.
”I-it was my first time… It hurt… But…”
I don’t remember what I felt.
”I-it was… pleasurable… I kept feeling better and better… I should have stopped… I shouldn’t have done something like this… Just making excuses…”
And all that remains in me is hatred and anger.
(Viola-sama…!!)
…What’s wrong, Frau?
Please hug me…
”I… It’s fine if you kill me…”
”……”
”If you tell me to die… I’ll die alone…”
”……”
”Until you’re satisfied… please hit me… I’ll do anything… no matter how embarrassing… please give me any orders…”
(Viola-sama… Viola-sama…)
Why do you have such a worried expression?
You’re shocked too, right, Frau?
Lute’s first time was taken away.
It’s kind of… pathetic, isn’t it?
It would have been better if the two of us had stolen it sooner.
”Why…”
”…”
”Why did you decide to speak?”
”…”
”If you had stayed silent, I wouldn’t have known.”
”…”
Either way, I was being presumptuous, right?
Don’t you think so too, Frau?
A dirty person like me couldn’t receive Lute’s first time.
Not kisses, not sex, not even a chance to confess, or the seat of a lover.
(Don’t cry… don’t cry, Viola-sama…)
”But I… I were crying…”
But, you know,
There are so many cute girls in the world, Frau.
You’re one of them too.
With a beautiful body and a beautiful heart, if there was a child who would fall in love with Lute to the point of crying, it would never be me. Even though I knew it from the start, it’s foolish to dream like this. It won’t go so well, even though I wish it would.
(Please don’t cry… I beg you… It’s going to be okay…)
”Lute-sama… with a pale face… his eyes unfocused… he looks so agonized…”
It must be a bad habit of mine. I’m too positive. I think everything will go well. I believe my feelings will be conveyed, and I believe Lute will respond.
(Viola-sama… please stop crying…)
”Still, you… you told me… that it’s fine…”
There’s no way it’s going to be okay. I wasn’t okay. I lost everything, unable to even move my limbs.
…
It’s always like this. Only when things become hopeless do I realize it’s too late.
(It’s going to be okay…)
”I… I’m struggling to be the Divine Princess…”
”…”
”I wanted someone to support me…”
”…”
”I… I’m so happy… It’s okay… I’m so happy, so happy…”
”…”
”I feel so relieved…”
”…”
”Since then… I can’t think of anything else except for Lute-sama…”
”…”
”…Living a lie with you… I can’t do it anymore.”
Ah…
It’s over.
Everything is over.
…
Rather, it lasted longer than expected.
How pathetic it is.
I’m really a nuisance now.
Running away from home in a fit of pique feels like a distant memory.
That time when I thought he would come after me, it was happiness.
…Now, how will I live from here on?
(I understand… Lute-sama… about Viola-sama… that’s why…)
”Miss Forte.”
”…”
”I… have someone I love.”
”…”
(…Look)
”I’m so happy. To hear such words from a wonderful woman like you… I’m truly happy.”
”…”
”But…that’s why… just like you didn’t lie to me, I can’t lie to you either.”
”…huh…ugh…”
”I’m sorry.”
…
(Viola-sama…right…?)
”Wha…”
”…”
”…what kind…uh…what kind of…person is she?”
”…”
”Lute-sama… the person you like…”
”She is…”
…
(See…?)
”She is strong, and weak. Beautiful, honest, confused, angry, obedient, and stubborn. I’m happy when she smiles, and troubled when she scolds me. Being with her makes me happy. Just the fact that she’s alive, I’m happy. Just the fact that she tries to live, I’m happy.”
No, that’s wrong.
That’s not true.
I’m not that beautiful of a person.
”I want to be with her. Even though I took everything from her.”
That’s wrong.
You haven’t taken anything.
All this time, all this time,
I’ve only received from you.
”Of course, she hates me. That’s only natural.”
There’s no way I could hate you.
I definitely won’t do such a thing.
”But… she still smiles at me…”
Yes, I’ll smile.
I’ll always smile for you.
I’ll keep smiling for as long as it takes.
”She’s beautiful, everything about her is beautiful…”
No matter how much…
No matter how much I’m tainted…
”I want to keep gazing at her”
No matter how much I’m tainted, filthy…
What you’ve done is making me beautiful.
”…I know it’s unforgivable, I know it’s a bother, but…”
Okay, I’ll prove it.
These feelings, they won’t waver.
No matter how many others fall in love with you.
Even if someday, you fall in love with someone else.
”But…”
It’s okay.
My heart, it’s already all yours.
Please, right now,
Even if it’s just for now,
”I love you.”
Say those words,
Look into my eyes and say them.
Lute.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
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