Chapter 21 Only God Knows My Feelings, Your Feelings, And That Girl’s Feelings
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
February 25th
I said it was okay, even so…
…Watching Miss Forte while she was crying, I can’t help but feel the difficulty of understanding others.
If our roles were reversed, what would I say?
If Viola had someone she liked, would I still say it’s okay?
…I don’t think I could say it.
I would be scared.
Scared of being a bother.
That’s why I understand after all.
I understand that I don’t know anything about women.
* * *
In one of the rooms within a luxurious building owned by the Imperial Kingdom Orthodox Church, the twin Divine Princesses were leaning against each other, whispering in hushed voices.
”Why is it us, the Quintet?”
”Yeah, why is it us, the Quartet?”
The hair of these Divine Princesses had a slightly dull gray color, and their bangs were neatly cut at the height of their eyebrows.
The length of the hair, except for the bangs, is about chin-length, and it is neatly trimmed just like the bangs, which gives the two of them a somewhat artificial and doll-like appearance.
”Let Marcato do it, right? Quintet.”
”Yes, it’s fine if Marcato does it, right? Quartet.”
Although their large eyes are beautifully shaped, they give the viewer an oddly mechanical impression. Their petite stature could be mistaken for teenage girls, but their age, known to both insiders and outsiders, should be in their early twenties.
”It’s troublesome, Quintet…”
”Yes, it’s really troublesome, Quartet…”
Seeing Quintet nodding in agreement with her own words, Quartet, the twin sister, let out a small sigh.
Why did they have to be assigned such a troublesome case?
Especially when they were already busy with the extermination of the Anti-Imperial Kingdom forces.
”Of all people, Anima Lute…”
”Of all people…”
They were ordered to investigate Anima Lute’s background.
The person who has been treated as a tumor until now is under the protection of Kanon, her childhood friend and one of the bishops.
”I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be stared at by Bishop Kanon anymore.”
”I’m sorry too.”
How many nobles and church officials think they can pick a fight with Anima Lute and get away with it? They wished they would spare them from being told to stick my neck into such a bomb. There’s even a possibility that each other sister’s existence could be erased.
Moreover, they’re openly seen as an enemy by Bishop Kanon. It’s dreadful to imagine what kind of retaliation they would face if their activities in this place were exposed.
”Well, I guess there’s no helping it… It’s our job after all.”
”Yes… It’s a direct order from Allegretto-sama…”
Bishop Allegretto. He is an elderly man who has become the central figure in actively supporting Marcato in capturing Draconia and promoting further acquisition of Draconias.
Desire may be walking around disguised, but as long as they have caught Kanon’s attention, they can’t ignore the orders of Allegretto, the leader of the opposing faction.
”…Find his weakness…”
”…Weakness, huh?”
As for Anima Lute, his criminal history has long been thoroughly investigated. His record is spotless.
Even if they turn it upside down and beat it, not even a speck of dust will come out.
In fact, the more they investigate him, the more his good deeds stand out, which honestly makes them feel sick. There is no room for exploitation.
”He says it so lightly.”
”Yes, it’s really too light.”
His parents separated long ago and moved to another country, so the only person he has a close relationship with is his childhood friend, Kanon. Since Kanon is scary, it’s not possible to lay a hand on him.
”If there is a possibility…”
”Oh, really? What is it?”
Isn’t there a convenient woman? For example, a lover.
”Hmm, a lover, huh…”
”I wonder if there is one?”
Does she exist? For such a boring man. Even if she does, she’s probably a boring woman.
“Is it worth checking it out…”
“Is it worth checking it out…”
* * *
”Lute~! ♡”
”Whoa!!!!? Fi, Fiine!! It’s dangerous during experiments…!”
Saying that, Lute tries to push Fiine away in a flustered manner.
Trying to push her away, but Lute is no match for Fiine.
Fiine clings to his back, wrapping her legs and arms around his body, and Lute, who struggles and wriggles, gradually stops resisting and becomes quiet.
Ah, such a nice scent ♡
I love Lute’s scent ♡
Viola, Frau, and Beth all love this scent of Lute.
”Lute, want to play?”
”Hmm?”
My favorite is the scent between his legs, but he doesn’t like it when I try to smell it, so I endure it.
Even when I tried to stick my nose under his arm, Lute said it was not allowed.
I was really sad.
”Hmph… Hmph… *inhales*… *exhales* ♡”
That’s why lately, I’ve been sticking my nose into Lute’s hair.
He doesn’t dislike it that much when it’s his hair.
Though he seems ticklish.
”What do you want to play?”
”Anything is fine ♡”
As long as I can be with Lute, anything is fine. Anything is good, but…
”Shall we read a book?”
”Book! ♡”
I really like it when he reads books to me. I can sit on Lute’s lap for a long time.
”Do you have any preferences?”
”Something long!”
”…Even if you say long, Fiine will fall asleep, right?”
”Hmm…”
That’s true. Because Lute is warm, smells nice, and makes me feel very safe. Lute is like a dad. Come to think of it, they even smell a little similar.
”Well then… how about this?”
”A picture book~?”
”…Don’t look so dissatisfied. You always seem to enjoy it, don’t you?”
”Tsk… Fine, but…”
I like picture books, but I dislike them because they are short. If we’re going to read picture books, I want to read about 30 of them.
But Lute is really good at reading picture books. I found out from Lute that both Mom and Dad were not good at it.
Lute reads picture books the best when it’s just the two of us. And the worst when Viola is watching.
Probably, I think Lute likes Fiine more than Viola. That’s why he only reads well when it’s just the two of us.
This is a secret between Lute and Fiine.
”What story?”
”It’s a fairy tale from Draconia. It’s been around since before I was born. It’s a classic.”
”Oh, really?”
While Lute stands up from the desk and sits on the bed, Fiine keeps hugging his neck and kissing his neck. But Lute doesn’t get embarrassed like before, it’s boring. I want to see Lute’s red face again…
After all, he shows it to Viola and Frau right away.
Also, even though it’s not as much as Viola or Frau, but he also gets a red face around Forte.
Forte… Fiine like her too. Forte also has a strange scent. It’s a strange, strange smell that doesn’t come from Viola, Frau, or that Aria.
Somehow… I feel like Mama let me smell that scent a long time ago, but what was it?
I was told to remember it well, but…I only remember the smell, so I don’t remember what she said.
Anyway, Forte will come again and she promised, so I’ll think about it while I smell it next time she’s here.
“Fiine? Won’t you sit down?”
“Sit down! ♡”
Well, that’s fine!
More importantly, the picture book with Lute!
Fiine has a special seat on Lute’s lap.
Neither Viola nor Frau was allowed to sit.
Special only to Fiine.
…
Hmm ♡
Hmph ♡
“Oh, hey Fiine…”
“Hmm?”
“Don’t shake your ass.”
“…Hmph♡”
When I do this, Lute always turns a little red.
I’m so happy♡
Let’s give him a chew.
“Lute♡”
“Wow!!?”
“…”
Be quick at times like this.
But why avoid it?
“Lute”
“Wow!! Oh, hey…Fiine…”
“…”
Nuuu…
Chew…
“Lute!!”
“Argh!! Hey! Don’t grab me!! Stop it…!!”
”It decreases!! When Fiine kisses Lute, the mental and physical strength decreases!!”
”That’s not the issue!! I won’t be able to read picture books anymore!!”
”Mmm…”
”If my condition worsens… we’ll have to cancel the planned dessert-making session…”
”Ugh…”
”Today… we’re having pancakes. I bought plenty of honey. And butter too.”
”Alright…”
Well, if it’s pancakes, I guess it can’t be helped…
But why does Lute refuse to kiss Fiine? Mom and Dad do it every day. They kiss when they wake up, when they pass by each other, while eating meals, while taking a bath, and they keep kissing when they go to sleep. Fiine is so busy kissing Mom and Dad.
Lute says it’s because of Fiine’s mana, but Dad is also human, so Lute should be fine too.
Besides, in order to get used to it, we need to kiss a lot… but Lute doesn’t let Fiine do it easily.
”Well then, let’s read.”
”Yeah!”
Since there’s no other way, I’ll just lean against Lute’s body and take a sniff, restraining myself. Ah, but Lute really smells nice. I wish he would do something…secretive.
”Once upon a time, there was a prince from the human kingdom. That prince was…”
Lute must be the prince.
”At that moment, a giant shadow loomed over the prince, who was surrounded by enemies.”
Why he smells so good?
”The dragon saw the prince and instantly fell in love with him.”
Fiine already liked him even before seeing him. This dragon must have a poor sense of smell.
”The prince and the dragon ran away together…”
Fiine wouldn’t run away though. I’ll protect Lute. Fiine can even surpass Dad now.
”The prince pleaded with the dragon, but the dragon didn’t nod at all.”
Fiine would listen to the plea right away. Oh, but maybe we should… do something secretive, like mating? Yes, let’s do that.
I’ll listen to Lute’s request even if we don’t do it, but since he’s not making up his mind at all, there’s no other choice.
”―――――――The dragon that appeared from within the whirlpool of light no longer had the form of a dragon.”
Even without a whirlpool of light, Fiine can change her appearance, you know. Maybe it’s because Fiine is from a long time ago, she’s not as good at transformation as Fiine. She’s using unnecessary mana.
”―――――――And so, the two were bound together and lived happily ever after.”
……
”The end”
”……”
Fiine is not yet bound to Lute. How can we be bound?
”Lute”
”Hmm?”
Mom said to kidnap any man she thought was suitable, but Fiine won’t kidnap Lute. Dad thought Mom was too forceful.
”Lute, do you have any requests for Fiine?”
”A request?”
”Yeah, a request”
”……?”
Dad said to do lots of things that would be helpful to the other person. If Fiine does her best to do something for the other person, that person will come to love Fiine.
In other words, Fiine should listen to Lute’s request. If I listen to many requests, Lute will surely ask me to mate with him eventually. When you like someone, you want to do secret things, right?
If Lute doesn’t say it now, it means he doesn’t like Fiine that much yet. That’s not good. Fiine loves Lute so much, it’s unfair.
”Please… Do you have a request?”
Lute made a difficult face and crossed his arms, so Fiine leaned her head against him and put her ear to his chest. The sound of his heartbeat is calming. Lute’s heartbeat is beautiful. Very beautiful.
”Actually… There’s something I’ve been curious about.”
”Hmm?”
While still pressing my ear against his chest, Fiine looked up at Lute’s face. He had a slightly troubled expression as he gazed at Fiine. It was like Oratorio after a fight with Fiine, a face filled with hesitation and apology.
”Fiine, if you don’t mind… could you give me a good look at how you grow?”
”…”
…
Where I’ll grow bigger…
Fiine grows bigger because Lute likes big girls.
…
And Lute wants to see Fiine when she’s grown bigger.
In other words, Lute is curious about Fiine getting bigger.
…
”Hehe… ♡”
”Hm?”
”Hehehe… ♡”
”Fi, Fiine?”
”Hehe… ♡ Good job ♡ Now? ♡ Right away? ♡ How much will I grow?”
What is this?
What is this? ♡
Seriously ♡
Lute ♡
”It’s okay if it’s not too big…”
”Yeah ♡ That’s right ♡ Yeah yeah ♡ Well then, watch closely ♡ I’ll grow big ♡”
And at that moment, with a puff…
I realized I forgot to make mating a condition of the exchange.
* * *
Under the cloudy sky.
My heart is also perfectly cloudy.
”Lute-sama… and Forte…?”
”A-Aria-chan!?”
”What, what’s going on with the two of you… Could it be… a date?”
”Wha!!? N-no… it’s not like that!! H-hey, Lute-sama!?”
”Oh, Fiine has taken a liking to Forte. She was just playing with Fiine today. So, I’m taking her home now.”
”Oh, I see… I-I see… I’m sorry for saying weird things.”
Why do I have to hide in the shadows and watch Lute-sama being surrounded by two beautiful women, biting my finger?
Until just recently, only Viola-sama and I were by Lute-sama’s side, but now I noticed that the number of women around him has increased.
No, maybe I just didn’t notice until now.
Perhaps there are even more.
Fiine-chan is a bit different, so let’s exclude her for now.
I can’t imagine a future where Fiine-chan is taken by Lute-sama.
But those two who are panicking in front of Lute-sama right now are not good.
Especially Forte-sama.
At first, I thought Aria-sama was suspicious, but recently, Forte-sama has become completely dangerous. And Lute-sama, you were interested in Forte-sama, right? What’s with not giving up even if she’s rejected? Forte-sama has a strong heart. Well, even if I were in Forte-sama’s position, I wouldn’t give up either.
But the most troublesome thing is that for some reason, Fiine-chan has taken a liking to Forte-sama. At first, Forte-sama was pale when she saw Fiine-chan, who is a draconia, but as Fiine-chan stuck around, she started to dote on her more and more. Now, when Forte-sama comes to the house, Fiine-chan jumps out to greet her, and she has become our savior, keeping her busy as her playmates.
Normally, it would be impossible to visit the home of a rejected man so frequently, but thanks to Fiine-chan’s presence, Forte-sama has gained a justifiable reason to visit Lute-sama’s house even after being rejected.
Viola-sama is like, “Well, it’s not a big deal, right? I mean, I’m not in a position to say anything.” But for me, it’s impossible, at least for me to leave Forte-sama and Lute-sama alone together.
I mean, Viola-sama… I feel like she’s looking at Lute-sama with a wide heart like an angel, now that she’s confirmed his feelings.
It’s no good.
Viola-sama, it’s bad.
People’s feelings waver.
Especially when you look at the world, you can see that men are more easily swayed by temptation than women.
I understand the feeling of trusting Lute-sama, but that doesn’t mean we can let our guard down.
There’s no doubt that Viola-sama is the most wonderful thing in the world.
But, Forte-sama and Aria-sama are formidable opponents, you know?
Without Viola-sama, they would be considered the best and second best in the world.
”Aria, are you shopping?”
”Uh…uh, yeah…yeah, shopping…yes.”
I can see it.
The big package inside the bag.
That’s the package of the coat you bought the other day, right?
…Aria-sama, was she planning to come to Lute-sama’s house today?
Or maybe, she’s always wandering around like this, unable to make up her mind and going back home.
If that’s the case, it’s understandable that I haven’t noticed Aria-sama’s existence until now. Forte-sama, who is usually timid, seems to be more proactive when it comes to love, while Aria-sama, who is usually composed, is surprisingly shy when it comes to romance… You can’t judge a book by its cover, they say.
”Are there still things to buy?”
”Ah… no… Lute-sama, the things I wanted, I already…”
”I see, then it’s better if you go back together, right?”
”Huh?”
”Huh?”
Both of them have the same reaction. They look up at Lute-sama and immediately lock eyes with each other.
Both of them have “What should we do?” written on their foreheads.
”Miss Forte, thank you for playing with Fiine. Fiine can’t go outside often… so I really appreciate Miss Forte being kind to her.”
”No, no… I’m nothing special… It’s actually me who’s being entertained…”
”Oh no, don’t be so modest. Aria was worried about you the other day and came to your house, Miss Forte. I couldn’t respond properly because I was unconscious. I’ll make sure to thank you properly when I have the chance.”
”Yes, I’ll look forward to that…”
Wait… Did Lute-sama always talk to women like this? I feel like he used to be more afraid of women. It seems like he could only talk confidently to me, Beth, and Kanon-sama. And please stop blushing, both of you. Lute-sama has no other intentions.
”Well then…”
”Wait…”
”Ah…”
With a smile, Lute-sama raises his hand and leaves in a cool manner. Alright, today I was able to see off Forte-sama without any trouble.
Just as I let out a sigh of relief, there was a strong reaction…
”L-Lute-sama…”
Forte-sama, who grabbed the hem of Lute-sama’s clothes, seemed to do so unconsciously.
”Uh…”
Aria-sama’s expression as she watched this was wide-eyed. Well, that makes sense.
Based on the conversation she had overheard, it can be inferred that Forte-sama’s feelings are close to love at first sight. If she suddenly fell in love with Lute-sama, it is highly likely that she hasn’t yet expressed those feelings to Aria-sama. In a way, is this like a declaration of war right in front of Aria-sama? Or could it be that Aria-sama hasn’t revealed her feelings for Lute-sama to Forte-sama?
…Is their relationship going to be okay?
…It might not be something I should worry about, but it’s bothering me a little.
”Um, um…”
”What, what’s wrong? Miss Forte.”
Forte-sama turned bright red, lowered her head, and held her chest with her free hand… but she didn’t let go of the hand that was holding onto the hem of Lute-sama’s clothes.
”Um, tomorrow…”
They say that eyes speak louder than words, but
”Tomorrow… After work, can I come visit your house and play with Fiine-chan…?”
Even if those words were spoken with watery eyes and an upward glance, it was clear as day that they weren’t spoken from the heart.
”W-well, of course…”
After being confessed to, there’s no way Lute-sama could feel nothing, after all.
”…Thank you.”
As I gazed at Aria-sama, her face on the verge of tears and trying to hide a bag with a coat behind her back… Somehow, I felt a pang of sadness myself. It’s not like I intend to support Aria-sama’s romantic path, but somehow, I can’t help but see myself in her shoes.
”Well, then… Aria-chan… Let’s go.”
”U-uh, yes…”
Forte-sama, who had let go of Lute-sama’s hand and turned around, didn’t look back even once, her face bright red.
”Lute-sama… S-see you again…”
”Yeah, Aria, see you again…”
It was Aria-sama who kept looking back again and again.
Once Lute-sama and her made eye contact and exchanged a small wave, she continued to chase after Forte-sama.
”……”
Aria-sama kept turning back to look at Lute-sama’s figure over and over again.
….
As for me?
I am…
”Lute-sama”
”Whoa! F-Frau!? Why are you here… Weren’t you at home with Viola?”
”……Fiine-chan is accompanying Viola-sama.”
It feels bittersweet.
While everyone goes straight towards Lute-sama, I am completely useless.
I don’t have the courage to crash into him like Forte-sama, the patience to hide my feelings like Aria-sama, the cuteness to rely on others like Fiine-chan, or the ability to convey my feelings like Viola-sama.
After all, I am just a parasite.
Well, it’s only natural to feel pathetic.
”Huh… Hey… Frau?”
”……”
But I do feel frustrated.
I don’t want to give up, not really.
”What’s wrong? Just told me without pulling so hard…”
”…”
”I don’t know. I don’t understand myself.”
Even though I understand Lute-sama’s feelings and Viola-sama’s feelings, I can’t seem to understand my own feelings.
Even though I have no intention of fighting,
Even though I already know that I’ve lost,
Then, why am I…
”Frau!?”
”Oh, welcome.”
”…”
”It’s payment in advance. If you want to extend, let me know in advance.”
”Frau!? H-hey… Frau!?”
”What’s the matter? Do you have a problem? Spare me the trouble.”
”…”
Why is it that I still can’t give up on Lute-sama?
As I grow older, I feel more and more that it’s a love beyond social status.
I can see that he can’t satisfy Viola-sama.
But still, I love him.
In this one and only life, I think it’s a fortunate thing to meet someone I love so much.
”In this one and only life, I think it’s cruel to have to give up on someone.”
”Frau…”
”…in a place like this.”
”Ah…”
”It’s my first time staying in a place like this, a lodging.”
”Frau… stay calm…”
”I am calm.”
Who am I holding back for? Viola-sama? No, that’s not it. Forte-sama? Impossible. It’s not Fiine-chan, Aria-sama, Beth, or Canon-sama either.
”I am calm.”
”Frau… I…”
”…I know. You like Viola-sama, don’t you?”
”Ah…”
I am holding back for myself. I am not trash. I am not a fool. I am not a terrible woman. I tell myself that and try to protect the nonexistent beautiful version of myself.
”Please hold me.”
”Frau…”
”You held Forte-sama, didn’t you?”
”Ah… Did you hear?”
”Yes, Viola-sama too.”
”~~~~”
From the very beginning, I gave up on a love that could never be and started thinking about what would come next.
It was tough back then, but now it has become a good memory.
That love shaped me.
Even though we’re apart, I still think about him.
Surely, someday, I can fall in love with someone else.
Even if we can’t be lovers, I will always love Lute-sama.
But… to hell with all that.
I am.
Right now.
From the tips of my hair to the tips of my nails, with my body, my heart, and my soul, I yearn for Lute-sama.
Everything else can go to hell.
”I love Lute-sama more than anyone else. But for Forte-sama to come first, that’s just absurd.”
”Frau…”
I want it.
I want Lute-sama’s love.
I don’t care if it’s pity.
If it can barely be called love, I don’t mind.
”Did it feel good with Forte-sama…?”
”Oh, I… I don’t remember.”
”You don’t remember, huh? I know. Just by looking at that morning, I could tell that Lute-sama was in a daze.”
”……”
I’m just selfishly pouring out my feelings like this.
Just throwing a tantrum for no reason.
I’m just intensely jealous of Viola-sama, Forte-sama, and Aria-sama, who can do things that I can’t.
Even though I’m a woman like this, there’s no way I can be loved no matter how much I struggle.
”I hate it. I want to overwrite it.”
”……”
”I hate that Lute-sama’s body remembers Forte-sama. I want to make you forget… and overwrite it with me.”
”F-Frau, wait, wait!”
But I’ve been watching Lute-sama all this time, so I know.
How much Lute-sama has cherished me.
How much he loves me.
”Lute-sama…”
”Stop…”
”I love you… I love you so much…”
”……”
How much Lute-sama spoils me.
”I only have… Lute-sama…”
”T-That… that’s…”
How kind Lute-sama is.
”Lute-sama… I don’t want to be abandoned by you…”
”~~~~~~~”
If he was to be whispered such words… I know Lute-sama can’t reject me.
”Mmm…”
Because I flattered and flattered, I became special to Lute-sama.
Lute-sama, who has become important to me, who picked me up, can’t just irresponsibly throw me away now. I know that.
”Ha… Lute-sama… kiss… it makes me happy…”
I wrapped my arms around Lute-sama’s neck as I pulled him onto the bed, and I kissed his lips for the first time.
Lute-sama’s expression turned pale, surprised, and troubled, which is not what I desired.
But still, I am happy.
”Mmm… Muah”
In a dingy inn, I continued to nibble on Lute-sama’s lips for a long time.
Lute-sama is sweet and tender, and even the shabby scenery around us looks vibrant, it’s mysterious.
”Frau… I… I don’t understand.”
My maid uniform in front of him was undone, revealing my chest to Lute-sama.
”I don’t understand Frau’s feelings, nor Viola’s…”
”…”
I slid my hand down my leg and took off my panties, tossing them to the floor.
When I touched myself, I could tell I was wet enough.
Being so close to Lute-sama’s scent, my body naturally yearned for him. I already knew that.
”Even though I’m conveying it so clearly, you don’t understand…”
”…”
I’m ready, Lute-sama.
I’ll do my best because I know you must be nervous.
”I’m pathetic…”
I unbuttoned Lute-sama’s pants and traced my finger over his underwear.
Hurry up and get ready, Lute-sama.
”Ah… Frau…”
”It’s okay if you don’t understand.”
I pushed Lute-sama’s body onto the bed and straddled him, his bewildered expression gazing up at me.
It’s not the expression I wanted, but so what?
”I don’t even understand it myself, Lute-sama.”
”……”
”I don’t even understand my own feelings.”
”……”
”If I don’t understand, is it bad? These feelings.”
”……”
”My feelings are always wavering.”
”……”
”I panicked because I didn’t want Viola-sama to take Lute-sama away. But you ended up falling in love with Viola-sama, and seeing the two of you having fun made me happy. But I still didn’t want to lose Lute-sama, so I clung to the treatment. Even if I can only be second, even if I can only have the leftovers. Because I can’t compete. Because Lute-sama’s feelings are already directed towards Viola-sama.”
”Frau…”
Since Viola-sama appeared, there hasn’t been a single moment where my feelings were understood.
”Do you know what I thought when I heard Forte-sama’s story?”
”……”
”I wanted Viola-sama to take Lute-sama’s first time… That’s what I thought.”
”……”
”If only it were Viola-sama…”
”…”
”But I was frustrated. I couldn’t help but think such things about myself.”
”…”
”I should be the one who loves Lute-sama the most in the world. I should be the one who was closest to Lute-sama. At that time, I didn’t think that I wanted to take Lute-sama’s first time.”
”…”
”I don’t understand my own feelings.”
”…”
”I don’t… I don’t even want to understand…”
”…”
”I… I should… I should love Lute-sama the most in the world…”
”…”
”But… I don’t want to… I don’t want to give you up to anyone…!”
”…”
”Is it… Is it impossible… to understand my feelings?!”
”Frau…”
It’s not about logic.
It can’t be expressed in words.
Feelings are just feelings.
They can’t take shape.
”It’s okay to be swept away!! Just follow your feelings at that time!! If you want a reason, you can come up with one later, right?! Why do you need to understand it first?!”
”Frau”
”Do my feelings have to stay the same forever?! Am I not allowed to waver?! Am I not allowed to be lost?! Just because I’m inconsistent, what does it matter?!!!!”
”Frau, listen to me…”
”Let’s do it.”
”…”
”Let’s do it, Lute-sama.”
”…”
”Let’s… do it…”
”Frau…”
Pain.
Jealous.
Anxious.
Forcing myself.
But it’s still impossible.
Even now, my feelings keep wavering.
”Frau…”
If he tells me it’s not okay,
I’ll disappear.
”I… value Frau…”
I only hesitate this much because it’s about him.
”It’s always been this way. Since Frau was little. Frau’s existence has always been important to me.”
I only feel this much pain when I’m with him.
”I had nothing. Only Frau’s existence supported me. Because Frau would smile, I managed to keep going until now.”
”…”
”I want to cherish it. I want you to be happy. If Frau can be happy, I don’t mind putting my own happiness aside.”
”…”
”But… I keep making Frau sad.”
”…”
”I don’t understand. Frau becomes more beautiful, tells me she loves me, and always looks at me so sincerely. It makes me happy, but I don’t know what to do.”
”…”
”I love Viola.”
”…”
”It’s the first time I’ve felt like this.”
”…”
”But as soon as these feelings started to stir…”
”…”
”At the same time, Frau realized something important too.”
”…”
”I’ll be honest… During the treatment…”
”…”
”I desired both Frau and Viola.”
”…”
”I wanted to embrace both of you… and I still do…”
”…”
Ah,
God.
Why is it that feelings are so uncontrollable like this?
”I want to be held.”
”…
”This feeling is the only one that has never wavered inside me.”
”……”
”The feeling of loving Lute-sama and wanting to be embraced…”
”……”
Why did you give me something so burdensome,
something that can sometimes feel like it’s killingmes?
”Why don’t you waver… I don’t understand.”
”……”
Why is it that even though it’s mine, it doesn’t go as I wish?
Why does it move my body so much, even though it has no form?
Why does it hurt, yet I don’t want to let go?
”I will say it as many times as it takes.”
”……”
Even though I can’t touch it,
why do I want to offer it?
”About you…”
Please tell me.
”I love you more than anyone in the world.”
God.
Please bookmark this series and rate ☆☆☆☆☆ on here!
Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
Report Error Chapter
by
Tags: