Chapter 3 You are the most beautiful in the world
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
Viola has started to talk to me a little. I realize that I have relaxed myself and taken advantage of it.
However, I have no ulterior motive to talk to her more than necessary or to enjoy a friendly conversation. But, even though I have no ulterior motive, will God allow me to have at least the minimum necessary conversation to make her life a little easier?
What I mean is, today I suggested to her to use the doorbell for any reason. Whenever she needs my help (although the word “help” itself may be presumptuous), she should not hesitate to call me.
I am not very attentive and I do not know much about women. So, I begged her to allow me to lend my strength where I should have noticed it myself.
After pushing her silently for a while, she nodded slightly without saying a word.
I cannot thank her enough for responding calmly without any hateful eyes.
I am a worthless bastard.
I know it, but I’m a worthless bastard who can’t fix it even though I know it.
Even though she was placed in such a harsh situation, she still maintains a noble spirit, but I’m completely useless.
Her beauty and her voice aroused my lust.
Beautiful silver hair that extends to the waist.
Burning red eyes with long eyelashes.
A dignified face that seems to reflect her noble spirit.
Even if I try not to look, I can’t help but be conscious of her white skin in the corner of my vision.
How easy it would be to blame her for being too beautiful.
It can’t be her fault.
I’m just a worthless person.
Don’t let her know about such despicable gaze and feelings.
I swore not to burden her with any more pain.
Since she came here, I spent my free time making a wheelchair that I had been working on and it was completed.
She seemed to have never seen such a thing, but it was not something I had come up with on my own.
In the past, I saw a bed with pulleys in a hospital that nobles used to go to, and it was just a chair exchanged for that bed.
Still, the fact that she had a surprised expression when she saw what I made gave me great joy in my small heart.
I must have wanted her to praise me. That’s why I made such a reckless move to visit her bedroom at such a time. She must have been considerate.
As a result, she was taken out under the cloudy night sky, and yet she continued to be considerate.
I thanked her for her thoughtfulness, but I still have to do something in return.
What can I do to make her happy?
How can I calm her heart even a little?
Nothing comes to mind for me, who is dull.
* * *
――Chop… Chop… Chop…
The sound of a knife that can hardly be called pleasant.
The steam from a boiling pot.
A bundle of ingredients that clearly seem to have been bought too much.
Lute’s profile as he continues cooking desperately, sweating.
Since I got my wheelchair, it has become a daily routine for me to watch these scene. When Lute asked me if there was anywhere I wanted to go in my wheelchair, I answered “the kitchen” without hesitation.
Even now, I can’t help but smile when I remember the look on Lute’s face when I answered that way. It was as if he had imagined me saying something like the city or the forest or a meadow.
But Lute didn’t ask “why?”. He just said “okay”. That’s what I like about him… No, not that like… um… I mean, he’s a good guy… Well, it’s nothing.
”Sorry, it’ll be done soon…”
I shake my head slightly at Lute, who has turned his sweat-drenched face towards me. There’s no need to hurry.
I’m just here because I want to see this scene.
Oil jumps in the iron pot, and the good smell of the meat being cooked fills the air.
I caught a glimpse of the meat before it was cooked, but it must be really good meat.
I’m only worried if he’s forcing himself to bought it, but… Well, someone like Lute shouldn’t be in trouble with money.
However, I wonder if my price was a burden for Lute…
I’m not sure if it’s rude to ask, but I feel inexplicably embarrassed.
At least if Lute were in my homeland, I think he would receive a reward that he could never spend in his lifetime, even if he played around with it.
But this house…
It’s not small, but it doesn’t seem like a house where someone like Lute would live.
At first, I thought it was a new house purchased to keep me, but it doesn’t seem to be the case…
Moreover, there are only the bare essentials here, or rather, an abnormal amount of simplicity. There are really only the minimum necessary things.
Recently, day after day, cute little things that don’t seem to match his tastes, like flowers and paintings, have been increasing one after another in my range of movement, and they please my eyes, but other than that, there’s really nothing.
And there was a story I overheard before…
Beth said that Lute sold his household goods to buy me… I hadn’t left my room at that time, so I thought he had only sold a few valuable things. But did he really sell almost everything in the house?
So, is he in need of money?
…Or rather, are you saying that the increase in things in my living space is for me?
…Just for me?
I hope I’m not misunderstanding.
”I-I’m sorry… I made dinner…”
Lost in my thoughts, I suddenly trembled as Lute called my name.
It seems that Lute’s cooking had already finished without me noticing.
”Can we eat it right away?”
I hope I didn’t make a foolish face.
Feeling worried about that, I hesitantly nodded, and Lute briefly showed a soft smile before returning to his usual expression.
He always shows that change in expression, but I wonder what his true intentions are.”If I asked, ‘Why can’t you keep smiling?’ would you tell me?”
Clatter… and Lute lined up the dishes on the simple kitchen table and then came towards me, grabbing the handles of my wheelchair.
He grabbed them, but he doesn’t push my wheelchair.
He just supports me as I start moving the wheelchair with my own will.
So that it’s okay no matter what happens.
Now, in front of me, there is the savory sauce drizzled over the grilled meat, accompanied by boiled vegetables served as a side dish. The soup features fragrant herbs floating within it. As for the bread, it appears that he bought it, possibly because he hasn’t learned how to make it yet.
He’s progressing so fast.
The foods looks really delicious.
Without thinking, I swallowed the saliva that welled up in my mouth and coughed softly to cover it up.
I want to eat it quickly.
Unable to wait any longer, I looked up at Lute, who had moved next to me, and tried to show my intention to eat by opening my mouth, but at that moment…
Both Lute and I turned our faces towards the subdued sound of knocking on the entrance.―――――――――Knock knock.
If it was Beth, I should be able to hear her cheerful voice, so it must be someone else.
I wonder if some delivery came.
”…Do you want go to your room?”
He asks me that because I haven’t met Beth yet.
I was scared to meet Beth, so whenever she came, I would escape to the room he let me use.
But now, there’s the meal that he made right in front of me.
If I escape to the room now, Lute will surely try to bring the food to the room for me.
I can’t inconvenience him like that.
”…Here is fine.”
When I said that, Lute nodded expressionlessly and immediately walked towards the entrance.
”Yes, I’m here. I’ll open it right away.”
As Lute put his hand on the doorknob and opened the entrance with a click,
I immediately regretted not hiding in the room.
Suddenly, a person jumped into Lute’s arms as he opened the door.
Platinum blonde hair that was as beautiful as silk, a cute and well-proportioned face, and a nun’s outfit.
”What, why are you here?”
”Because Lute-sama didn’t come!”
The skin of her thin and beautiful hand wrapped around his back from his side.
”I’ve been busy for a while, so I didn’t contact you…”
”Even so, not giving me any contact makes me worry!!”
She pushed her head against Lute’s chest and rubbed it.
And when she lifted her head, her green eyes with golden eyelashes were filled with a burning passion.
”Oh, I see. This month’s donation…”
”No!!! Please don’t talk about money!!!”
Looking up at Lute, who probably made an insensitive remark, her face suddenly became very cute as her cheeks puffed up.
”I just wanted to see Lute-sama!”
”…Is that so?”
”Oh, I see.”
On looking at Lute who nodded with a face that seemed to understand nothing, the woman did not show anger on her face. Instead, a dazzlingly warm smile appeared on her face.
I wonder why my chest hurts so much. My heart is beating so fast that it feels like it’s going to burst.
”Why didn’t you come to see me?”
Saying so, the woman lightly closed her eyes and pressed her cheek against Lute’s chest, squeezing his hand that was around her back tightly. She is probably Lute’s lover.
”Oh, that’s because…”
Stop it. Don’t look at me.
I feel miserable right now.
”Because she… came to this house…”
Please stop. What do you mean by “she came”? How am I supposed to explain my existence? Even if I’m such a miserable woman, don’t you understand that if you introduce me as a woman’s sl*ve to your lover, it will lead to a tragic end?
At Lute’s words, the woman seemed to notice my existence for the first time. The woman, upon seeing my expressionless face, immediately blushed and abruptly pulled herself away from Lute.
”Frau, she’s Viola… Viola, this is Frau.”
I must not let any misunderstandings occur. Smiling is not allowed. It may be interpreted as provocation. Being moody is also not allowed. It may be mistaken as jealousy.
I must not trouble Lute or this woman. I must remain as emotionless as possible. But, maintain courtesy.
”I am Viola. Nice to meet you.”
”N-nice… to meet you… I am Frau.”
I nodded my head and Frau, in a fluster, performed a small curtsy as a greeting. It was not flashy but elegant.
However, I could see anxiety in her eyes. She kept glancing between me and Lute, clearly shaken.
Well, of course. Imagine coming to your lover’s house after a long time and finding an unfamiliar woman sitting at the dining table with an expressionless face. Even I would be speechless if the roles were reversed.
”Please excuse my rudeness for sitting down. I can’t move my arms and legs.”
”Your arms and legs…?”
I moved the wheelchair from the table where the food was placed and exposed my whole body to Frau-san’s eyes. She briefly widened her eyes and said,
”I see. No, please don’t say anything rude. I don’t think that way.”
However, she quickly erased that expression and turned a soft smile towards me.
I don’t know anything about her personality, but she is Lute’s lover, so she probably said that from the bottom of her heart. She seems like a good girl. These two look good together.
However, Frau-san’s expression soon became anxious again, and she began to stare at Lute standing next to her. Lute was also looking at me in a flustered manner, but this is not the time to be worried about me, is it?
What should I do in this situation? It’s really awkward.
”Um, excuse me…”
What should I do…? How should I explain? I don’t have the slightest intention of taking Lute from her. Just see me as dust in the corner of the room. But how can I make her understand?
”L-Lute-sama… Who is this person…?”
I don’t want to become a cause for a crack in their relationship.
”Is Viola-san… Lute-sama’s lover?”
”D-don’t say stupid things, Frau!! It’s disrespectful!”
”Huh…? I-it’s not true? Then… why… she’s so beautiful… I thought…”
”No! She’s absolutely not!!”
Hmm… what is it?
It irritated me a little.
I suddenly felt the urge to bite Lute, which I hadn’t done in a long time…
But wait a moment… before that… I have to confirm it.
”Aren’t you two… lovers?”
Upon hearing my words, Lute made a stupid face and Frau-san blushed, covering her cheeks with her hands.
”No, it’s not like that…”
Upon hearing those words, Frau-san looked up at Lute, her face turning pale.
”But you two look really good together.”
”Well, Frau has just turned 18 this year. I have no reason not to be her boyfriend.”
”But, it looks like you two are really close.”
”Well, I’ve known Frau since she was little. She’s just being friendly.”
I almost screamed, “This stupid person!!!”
And this fool, who seemed to misunderstand me when I frowned because of a sudden headache,
”What’s wrong…? Are you feeling sick…?”
He left Frau-san behind and ran towards me.
Really, spare me.
”Are you okay? I’m sorry… to come to a place when you’re not feeling well.”
And even the person I’m trying to be considerate of, she comes running towards me with a really worried expression.
Really, what’s going on with these two.
”Oh no… I’m fine. I’m not feeling sick.”
”Are you sure?”
”Yeah, I’m sure.”
”Um, please don’t push yourself… and, it was before mealtime, right? I didn’t notice. Well, I’m sorry for interrupting…”
They both had similar expressions of confusion.
Even though they were incredibly compatible.
”No… I’m really fine. I’m actually sorry for interrupting.”
Both of them reacted in the exact same way, looking at each other.
What is this?
I’m starting to feel upset in my chest again.
What am I frustrated about?
”Uh, um… Lute-sama, I will come again. And Viola-san, even though you’re saying that, your complexion doesn’t look good.”
It’s not that bad.
I just naturally have a tough look.
”I see, sorry.”
”Viola-san… Are you okay?”
”Oh… I’m sorry, I’m really fine.”
Did I just click my tongue?
Lute’s “sorry,” which had always been directed only at me, suddenly turned toward Frau-san.
In response to the almost subconscious words that slipped out of my mouth, Frau-san smiled and tilted her head.
”Frau-san and… Lute-sama…”
I mean, you address him as Sama too, right?
”Um, no… What kind of relationship do you have with Lute-san?”
Her eyes blinked and were full of charm, making her truly adorable. But Frau-san quickly looked up at Lute standing beside her with a loving gaze, and her cheeks blushed slightly pink.
”I originally came from an orphanage. Lute-sama established it when he was in his teens with a reward from the country.”
In her eyes, there were admiration, respect, and an unwavering love.
”Now I’m independent thanks to Lute-sama, but it’s also thanks to his connections that he made a substantial donation to the church.”
And there is a deep love that never wavers.
”So, I respect Lute-sama more than anyone else in the world. Is that the kind of relationship?”
The most in the world… Isn’t it a mistake to say love?
”Well then… I’m really sorry. Excuse me, Lute-sama and Viola-san.”
”Frau, I’m sorry. I’ll come to the church again next time.”
Lute, who had a apologetic expression on his face, smiled and tilted his head in response to Frau’s smile. However, without heading straight to the entrance, Frau-san bent down in front of me.
Seeing me confused by Frau-san’s actions, after staring at my eyes for a while, she whispered in my ear,
”He is a very kind person… please trust him.”
She whispered like that and smiled at me, who was dumbfounded.
”Oh, be careful on your way home, Frau.”
”Yes!!! You too, Viola-san!!”
As Frau-san left the entrance with a fluttering sound, she turned back, waved her hand with a smile, and left.
”…The food has gotten cold. I’m sorry.”
I finally realized it there.
Something that I alone hadn’t noticed.
”Can you wait a moment? I’ll quickly reheat it.”
I mean, there was no way Frau-san hadn’t noticed the sl*ve mark engraved on my neck.
”….What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
Even after realizing, did she really think I was serious about being Lute’s lover?
Even though she noticed it, until now, she didn’t make me feel it at all? She didn’t even question Lute when he bought a sl*ve?
”It’s nothing, I’m fine.”
Was it because I was wearing clean clothes, had my hair done, and was sitting on a chair he made while being served homemade food in front of me? Did Frau-san notice that Lute was treating me well, treating me nothing like a sl*ve, without me even realizing it?
I’ve completely lost.
Body and soul.
* * *
”Ah… It’s okay. I’m the one who’s sorry…”
It was bath time. I was covered in shame to the point where I thought I would die, and I thought I would really go crazy.
I think it was because I met Frau-san during the day.
That’s why I didn’t want to see Beth either. Because in her words, the feeling of cherishing Lute overflowed.
However, today I saw someone even more intense than that. Cute, beautiful, and gentle, Frow, who can stand on her own feet, jump into Lute’s chest, and embrace his body. She doesn’t expose her dirty self to Lute. She can show her beautiful and perfect self to Lute.
The more I try not to be conscious, the more I become aware of Lute’s touch on my body, and I can’t stop making strange sounds since earlier.
My dirty body. I don’t really want this body to be touched. But if I don’t let it be touched, I will become even dirtier.
Lute’s hand touches my arm, my stomach, my back, my neck.
Every time the soft cloth in his hand touches my chest, my groin, I tremble and make a vulgar sound.
And I think later. Was I trying to endure not making a sound at that time?
Or was I intentionally making loud coquettish voices to seduce Lute?
Because I can’t win anything else, it’s like a provocation.
Because this is the only way to tempt him.
Everything is just an excuse.
Even the embarrassment.
But I don’t understand the reason.
It’s just an excuse to myself.
And I must be desperate.
Trying to obtain his love.
Not wanting to be abandoned.
Otherwise, it doesn’t make sense.
”I-It’s okay…don’t worry…”
Feeling nauseous when looking at Frau.
Feeling jealous of the way she embraces him.
Feeling relieved to know they’re not lovers.
Feeling happy when asked if we’re lovers.
I can’t explain these feelings.
I just want to live on, even if it’s disgraceful.
Because I know he’s the only one who can save me.
I must be deceiving myself.
Lying about falling in love with him.
If that’s not the case.
If that’s not the truth, then what?
He is the man who destroyed my country with his invention. But he is the man who caused me to become like this, right?
Hey, what did I thought? Why am I jealous of Frau? Stop it!!
”I’m… sorry… I-I can’t do it properly… I’m sorry…”
Don’t make that face. Please, Lute.
What’s wrong with me today?
By tomorrow, I won’t care anymore.
The ugly me can only cause trouble for him.
Even though there is such a lovely girl, if I’m there, that girl won’t be able to confess her feelings to you.
Maybe I just don’t want to see the scene where she confesses her feelings someday.
I’m really sorry.
I can’t even leave a thank you letter like this, but…
Will you forgive me?
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.