Chapter 7 What’s Your True Feeling?
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
Due to Kanon’s proposal, we officially began the process of infusing mana into Mana.
To be honest, I feel tremendous guilt.
I can’t help but feel like I’m engaging in wicked acts under the guise of treatment, taking advantage of her, who can’t move her limbs, and accelerating the situation.
Throughout the treatment, Viola endured pain with great patience.
However, when I saw her neck turn red with humiliation, my heart almost broke numerous times.
Unwanted pleasure is tantamount to torture.
There is even a kind of torture that continues to torment by tickling.
Will Viola really be able to endure such pain?
Of course, I would be happy if Viola could move her limbs, but in that situation, it seems like I’m trampling on her dignity too much.
I’m in a dilemma.
* * *
I can’t endure for two hours.
Various things are getting really intense, and the biggest problem is that my consciousness fades.
Rather, I was able to endure better at the beginning, and as I repeated it, my consciousness became easier to lose.
I never thought I would get used to losing consciousness.
If I were to get used to it anyway, it would be better to get used to the pleasurable side…
But, wait, does that mean it won’t feel as good as it does now?
Hmm… That feels a little different.
”Well, how about splitting it into two times a day, morning and evening?”
Beth suggested one day when she came to ask about the progress of my treatment, and I jumped at the suggestion.
”Lute, let’s do that!”
”W-Well, but… in the morning…”
”Well, it might be a burden for you, Lute, but we can’t just rush the treatment all at once, you know?”
”But, uh… the night might be…”
”If you don’t want to, Lute… it’s okay…”
”No, it’s not that… I just…”
I was enthusiastic about it, but Lute seemed less so.
What’s with that? Does it mean my treatment can be delayed?
Well, I understand that Lute is currently consuming mana unilaterally, and it would be physically difficult to do it in the morning.
Certainly the treatment is for me, but… um… I want to quickly… um… do things for Lute too…
No! I’m not thinking anything weird! I mean… um… helping! Helping, that’s it!
Things like cooking, cleaning, laundry, there are various things to do, right!
After all, he always do things for me, so I want to repay Lute too.
”Lute-sama, that’s not enough. Viola-sama, please don’t look so down.”
”…I’m not looking down or anything.”
”What Lute-sama is concerned about is not just your physical condition…”
With that, Beth glances at my body.
I wonder what it is.
Today I’m wearing the hand-me-downs from Kanon that Beth brought me.
A light blue sweater and a white skirt.
Even looking at myself, nothing seems strange.
”I think it’s because he is concerned about Viola-sama’s health.”
Even though Beth whispers that in my ear so Lute can’t hear, there’s nothing left for my body to get worse.
Besides, I don’t think I’ll get sick from being poured so much mana into my body. So, is it a discussion about physical stamina?
”I’m fine, you know?”
”Um… I think Lute-sama is hesitating because you don’t seem fine…”
Hmmm… it’s not like my physical stamina matters. I don’t have any particular job to do. All I do is watch Lute work.
”You really are dense like Lute-sama… I’ll say it clearly this time…”
While I sit there dumbfounded, Beth whispered in my ear,
”Lute-sama seems worried that you might need a bath since morning.”
”And also, a change of underwear.”
”Am I… that dirty?”
”I’m in charge of laundry on the days I can come… It’s quite something…”
”You’re all wet.”
”For a moment, I thought you had an accident.”
I hate my own body.
Why don’t I have any self-control? I’ve exposed all my shame and filth to Lute so far, but to think I would still add a new shame on top of that.
”B-but… I’ll still do it…”
Even if Lute stops seeing me as a woman, I will still reclaim my dignity.
”I, I understand…”
After all, I have to do something in return.
* * *
”A-are you okay, Viola?”
”S-should I get you some water?”
”Ugh… no… uhh…”
The next morning, I ended up in a difficult situation after receiving a 30-minute mana transfer.
No matter how strange I appeared, the mana transfer couldn’t be stopped for exactly 30 minutes.
Although I had promised this to Lute and started, I couldn’t help but regret that maybe I should have asked him to wait a little longer after it was over.
Now, Lute lays me down on the bed, while taking care of me, but the lingering sensation continues and my body continues to convulse.
I can’t get rid of the sound of Lute’s rough breathing in my ears, and the warmth that came from Lute’s body remains on my back without disappearing.
And currently, with a sense of pleasure and happiness, my head feels numb, and I think it would have been much easier if I had just lost consciousness.
”Ugh… I don’t want this…”
After Lute hurriedly left the room, I cautiously confirm the sensation in my lower body. I realize that there is a warm feeling spreading throughout my panties that I’ve been wearing, saturating them completely.
”It’s soaking wet.”
Even Beth, with her face blushing, whispered that to me. I can’t take off the pants I’m wearing by myself, but I’m sure if I were to see it with my own eyes, an incredible sight would unfold.
Usually, I wouldn’t be able to tell since I would lose consciousness, but when I consciously think about it, I can tell that an unfamiliar scent is rising from myself.
”A-are you okay?”
As I twist and fidget, Lute returns in no time.
I can’t calm down my body’s heat even if I’m allowed to be hugged and given water little by little.
My crotch feels uncomfortable.
I want to change clothes quickly.
Thinking that far ahead, I realized what would happen next and turned pale.
”W-What’s wrong? Are you feeling sick?”
Usually, while I’m unconscious, Lute helps me change clothes.
He must have been cleaning my body too, as I had never felt such an uncomfortable sensation in my crotch before.
”Let’s change clothes quickly.”
As I blushed and clenched my lips in response to those words, I noticed that Lute already had my clothes in his hands.
Lute, who was looking at me with concern, seems to already know everything that is happening to my body.
Well, of course he does.
Because I’m always unconscious, Lute himself has seen that scene every time.
Not only does he watch, but he even does the laundry for me.
I’m so embarrassed, I could die.
”I’m sorry, should I undress you?”
When his hand touches my pants, the tension increases suddenly.I have shown my naked body multiple times, but this situation is different. Please, I hope it doesn’t turn into something obscene….
Only such thoughts are in my head,
At the moment when my underwear was pulled down along with my pants, I was speechless at the sight of transparent liquid trailing from my crotch.
More than half of my underwear is soaked with my fluids, and there is a transparent bridge between the fabric and my private area.
After inadvertently staring at it in surprise and embarrassment, I looked up at Lute, who seemed to be turning his head away in another direction with force.
I-is he not looking? But… this smell…
As I became flustered and my face turned red and blue, Lute’s movements were surprisingly quick.
In an instant, my panties disappeared into the pants that were being twisted around, and they were thrown into the laundry basket by Lute’s feet.
As I stared at the dirty laundry disappearing into the basket, Lute already had a fluffy towel in his hand, which was immediately pressed against my private area.
The towel was pressed against my crotch even faster than the laundry landed in the basket, so it was a complete surprise for me.
I couldn’t hold back a strange sound from escaping my mouth, but Lute didn’t stop at my voice at this point.
His actions were completely professional by now.
It’s impressive how accurately he can move without even directly looking. My fascination was growing larger than my embarrassment.
Now, the towel, which had wiped my crotch once, was immediately folded to reveal a new side, and he repeated this two or three times, wiping away the uncomfortable sensation from my crotch.
While I was staring in astonishment at the speed of his actions, Lute unfastened the lid of a small bag that was hanging from his waist and took out a steaming hot towel from inside.
It seemed to be a portable towel warmer that Lute had recently developed.
I do think this invention is amazing, but I can’t help but feel a little complicated about it.
Is my bottom really dirty? Lute wraps his hand around my waist and lifts my body.
I’m so sensitive all over that even this feels good, and I can’t stop making weird noises.
As my vision starts to spin, the waves of pleasure from Lute continue without stopping.
My buttocks are gently wiped with a warm towel, and one after another, new towels are pressed against my skin to cleanse the areas I may have dirtied.
If I keep twitching like this, I’ll just get dirty again right after being cleaned.
”I’m sorry for being inefficient. It’s done. I’ll dress you right away.”
While my thoughts fail to function and I absentmindedly think about such things, Lute, who seems to have finished the work in no time, says that.
As I thank him while gasping for breath, I see that Lute’s cheeks have turned slightly red.
I wanted to ask Lute why, but I stayed silent.
However, just as Lute lifted my legs and draped the new panties around my ankles,
”Hello… Lute-sama, are you here…?”
The door to my room opened with a squeak.
The moment Frau peeped her face in, time seemed to freeze for the three of us.
* * *
”N-No… It’s my fault for not noticing Frau’s knock. There’s no need for Frau, who came to check on me out of concern, to apologize.”
In front of Frau, who bowed deeply with a bright red face, both Lute and I also blushed and bowed our heads.
It seems that Frau managed to take a day off today and came to see Lute with earnestness.
Nevertheless, it’s a good thing she saw us after Lute finished cleaning me…
I mean, I can’t help but shudder at the thought of her seeing us while mana was being injected into me or right after I had taken off my underwear…
”So… do you have any business here?”
”Yes… um… I thought that if there was something I could help Lute-sama with… but it seems like I just ended up getting in the way… I’m sorry.”
”…I appreciate the sentiment, but you don’t have to work even on your precious days off. And especially not for my sake…”
”No… Helping Lute-sama doesn’t feel like work to me. It actually puts my mind at ease to be able to help.”
Frau, with a red face, looked at Lute while uttering such earnest words.
Come to think of it, she’s in love with Lute.
Despite being overwhelmed by embarrassment, I wonder if she didn’t feel anything when she saw that scene earlier…?
”Earlier… um, I’m sorry for showing you such a weird side.”
”N-No, Viola-sama! It was my lack of thinking. Since Viola-sama, who has a disability in her arms and legs, live with Lute-sama, I should have considered that Lute-sama would also do such things…”
The words I said in jest seem to have been taken seriously by Frau, who had a serious expression and looked down. Somehow, when I see that expression, I feel a tremendous sense of guilt.
I might not be able to look Frau’s purity in the eye.
Still, is this girl really not thinking anything?
I mean, the person she loves is taking care of the body of a woman who just popped out of her mouth? Even if it’s inevitable, I would still dislike it if it were me. Or maybe I’m not even on her mind from the start?
”Is Lute-sama always… taking care of your body, Viola-sama?”
Hmm… it seems not so much.
As time passed, an expression of anxiety began to appear in Frau’s eyes, and she looked up at Lute with a raised eyebrow.
She finally began to regain her composure, and at that moment, various thoughts might have started to swell.
”Basically, yes. Beth helps out with things when she comes over, but she can’t stay at this house forever.”
”Uh…! Not just changing clothes, but also taking a bath?”
I see, Frau only saw the last scene, so she thought the earlier one was a change of clothes.
”And what about the bathroom?”
”…Lute takes care of it for me.”
Frau looked at me with a tearful face as I answered in place of the hesitant Lute.
Well, it’s shocking, isn’t it?
Even I wouldn’t guarantee that I could stay calm if I were in the opposite position and asked such things.
But I hate speaking vaguely about Lute’s relationship. It’s only embarrassing for me when it comes to Lute.
Everything Lute does for me is noble, so there’s no way I should feel ashamed about it. Lute’s actions should be praised. No matter who or where, I will never think of our relationship as obscene.
As I stare at her with a sharp expression while thinking such things,
Frau sways and approaches in front of my eyes.
”I… will take care of you, Viola-sama.”
For some reason, she tightly embraced my body.
”You must have been in pain… but it’s okay now. Leave everything to me.”
”Huh!? Wait, wait, what!? What’s going on!?”
Confused, I squirmed around, but Frau held me tightly with quite a strong force and wouldn’t let go at all.
Not only that, but she continued to sob and let tears fall onto my hair, and I ended up burying my face in her quite large chest, making it difficult to breathe.
”Fr-Frau-san! C-Calm down!”
”How am I supposed to calm down?”
With her tousled blonde hair, she let her tears flow as she grabbed my shoulder, and stared at me head-on.
With her momentum, I turned pale and let out a small groan, while Frau glared fiercely at Lute.
”Why didn’t you consult with me, Lute-sama!”
”Do you know how embarrassing it was for a woman to be taken care of by someone, especially a man, in the toilet?”
”Wait, wait a minute!! It’s not like I…!”
”No!! I can’t give in to this!!”
Frau stood up and quickly walked towards Lute with an intense angry expression on her face.
”Wasn’t Viola-sama looking embarrassed?”
”W-Well, she was…”
”Do you truly understand Viola-sama’s position?”
”W-Well… I think I understand…”
”You don’t understand anything!!”
Leaving me dumbfounded, Frau’s anger continued to escalate.
Although it was only our second meeting, I was surprised to see Frau, who always had a calm expression, so angry.
”Not only can Viola-sama not move her limbs, but she also can’t oppose Lute-sama. So, How can she express her dislike honestly!?”
Well… At first, I didn’t like it… and even now, I don’t like being seen in such a dirty state… Oh?
”I believe in Lute-sama. I don’t think Lute-sama had any ulterior motives when taking care of Viola-sama. However!”
No, it’s actually me who has impure thoughts…. I keep trying to tempt him… even though I haven’t succeeded.
”This is a matter of Viola-sama’s dignity! It’s not about whether Viola-sama disliked it or if it was within tolerable limits!”
”In the future, Viola-sama will carry the burden of being taken care of by Lute-sama for the rest of her life! She might even fall in love with someone she really likes, maybe even Lute-sama! Plus, Viola is so incredibly beautiful…!!!”
”Well, wait, Frau-san… but he couldn’t ask anyone else…”
”But, you have your work at the church…”
”Which is more important, my work or Viola-sama’s life!!! I was saved by Lute-sama in the first place. Even if I quit my job at the church, I can live however I want. And if he truly care about Viola-sama, he could have hired me after knowing the circumstances!”
”But that… feels different to me.”
Startled by my bewildered voice, Frau opened her eyes wide and stared back into my eyes.
”Lute can’t just go messing around with Frau’s life, even if it’s for my sake.”
”You’ve known Lute since you were a child, right?”
”Yes, that’s true, but…”
”When you took on the church’s work, Lute was really happy, wasn’t he?”
”When you talked about your work at the church, Lute listened happily, didn’t he?”
Looking at Frau, who had become downcast, I let out a sigh of relief. Frau was a good kid. Well, maybe that’s why she got so angry in the first place.
”Lute can’t ask someone like Frau to give up her church work and take care of me. Even if I were in Lute’s shoes, I couldn’t ask for that.”
”And besides… I wouldn’t be happy even if Frau took care of me like that. I don’t want to prioritize my own dignity over messing up your life.”
Who am I to say that?
When I’m the one messing up Lute’s life.
Frau’s face was completely downcast and her shoulders were trembling slightly. When I saw her crying face, I felt like I had done something really wrong.
Despite you genuinely worrying about me from the bottom of your heart, I said something like this.
…And, I… I thought Frau was jealous of me.
…Really, can I compete with this child? I don’t have confidence, as expected.
”Thank you. I’m really happy.”
Frau, who hugged me, burst into tears again and had been stroking my hair for quite a long time. I’m a little worried about Lute, who had a gloomy face while looking at it.
…Like Frau, I also need to convey my true feelings properly. There were certainly things I didn’t like. It’s embarrassing, as Frau said.
But… how grateful I am. How much I have come to like Lute.
I have to convey it properly.
Once I can move my own arms properly. When I can manage without relying on Lute for everything.
When I can be in a position where I don’t have to worry about him, I’m sure he’ll believe my words from the bottom of his heart.
Now, you believe me, right?
One week later.
”I will read aloud the Archbishop’s letter. Please forgive any rude and direct expressions.”
”The fact that the magic technologist Lute, who has greatly contributed to the Holy Empire, is facing many difficulties in taking care of his own slave in his personal life, is a great loss to the homeland, and the Church does not approve of this. Therefore, by order of the Archbishop, Sister Frau, who is affiliated with the Eighth District Orthodox Church, is being dispatched to Lute’s side to assist in this life as an official charitable activity of the Church.”
”…That’s the situation, Lute-sama, Viola-sama.”
”If I can’t take care of it… I’ll get scolded…”
”Is that alright?”
Seeing Frau smile and Lute with a troubled expression, my consciousness started to fade away.
Did you get so angry at that time because you were worried about me?
It’s not because you were really jealous of me, right?
”By the way”
Hey, are you okay?
”It is a command from the archbishop to work and live in. I have also brought the funds.”
Thud! I looked at the bag of coins placed on the table.
”If Lute-sama refused… they will be angry.”
I hung my head and let out a deep sigh.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.