He whispered this in my ear, just like now, in this deserted palace after summer had passed.
It was the first and last night we were together.
I wonder what was the first reason why I developed feelings for him.
I can't even remember now.
Anyway, I loved the man who guarded me as a knight, and he loved me back.
Royalty and nobility. We loved each other, though our statuses were different.
At that time, we saw nothing but each other.
With love, we can overcome any difficulties. We thought that the difference in status was nothing to worry about.
Looking back on it now, I can only describe it as a reckless youthful sense of invincibility, a sense of omnipotence without any evidence to back it up.
At that time, my father, the king of this country, was planning to marry me to the second prince of Ternoir, a neighboring country.
For a daughter of a royal family, a political marriage is a matter of course. It's not something one would normally even question.
However, for me, who had already tasted the forbidden fruit of love, the idea of marrying a man whose face I did not even know... someone other than him, struck me as something to be dreaded.
So we promised to flee from this country and marry each other.
And on the appointed day in the late autumn.
Although it was a little early for me, I had left the royal palace for a secret visit to this summer palace under the guise of staying at the winter palace.
I remember that I was looking at the small path along the lakeside from the balcony, anxiously waiting for his visit.
But in the end, he never came.
Since that day, I was crying by myself in my room, and a maid, who couldn't bear to see me, told me secretly.
She began with such a preface, "I heard this story from the servants of His Majesty the King..." and it was too hopeless for me.
My father knew that we had feelings for each other.
So, he had called his father and forced him to make a pact that he would never see me again, using the lives of his whole family as a hostage, and he had accepted.
My father is a fierce man, who is even nicknamed "Warmonger".
If he wanted to kill his family, he would do it. This is not a threat.
I think the reason why my father did not execute him at this point is because he regretted his talent as a knight.
At this point, I never held a grudge against him.
After all, if he had been capable of sacrificing his family, I would not have loved him.
So I decided to forget him.
But just then, just as the marriage with the prince of the neighboring kingdom was being arranged.
One day, I noticed something wrong with my body with nausea.
I was pregnant.
There was only one person with whom I had made love.
There was no doubt whose child it was.
I became impatient.
If my father found out about this, he would end his life.
My father knew that we had feelings for each other, but he did not know that we had made love.
If he knew that, he would torn him to pieces, no matter how figurative it is.
What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do?
In my impatience, when I bit my nails unconsciously and my fingernails were torn to shreds, I made a decision.
A decision that, looking back on it now, seems like madness.
I invited one young nobleman after another to my room and began to share my bedchamber with them.
I tried to be as sexy as possible in my behavior, dressed up in the most indecent way I could, and tried to present the appearance that I was a sex-crazed princess who had conceived a child after a wild and whorish love affair.
It was a desperate attempt.
Every day my body and mind were becoming more and more defiled.
After the event was over, I continued to vomit until dawn every day.
I rested for a while after my stomach began to swell, but after I entered the stable period, I invited the nobles back to bed with my big belly.
The reason I had to go to such lengths was that my father had not yet heard about my behavior.
I did not have many opportunities to see him.
It is preferable that others hear about it naturally.
And if he did not believe that I had become pregnant as a result of my debauchery, then all these hellish days would be ruined.
In the end, my father heard about it only a month before the birth. Naturally, the marriage proposal with the neighboring country was broken off, and my father became furious, purging all the children of the nobles who had relations with me.
Fortunately, my father did not think that I had anything to do with that man, and there were no repercussions for him.
The problem is the unborn child.
It is the very form of love between me and him. I must protect it.
But there is no way my father will leave the child alone.
He would take the child away from me as soon as it was born.
I needed allies.
And there was only one person who was strong enough to stand by me.
My only brother from the same mother, the third prince of this country.
At the time, my father considered my brother, who was kind-hearted and did not like conflict, to be a weakling.
Therefore, I revealed everything to my brother.
He was surprised and angry at my unreasonableness, and promised to cooperate with me with tears in his eyes.
Thanks to the help of this kind brother, on the day of his birth, I was able to entrust the child to his trusted confidant and to help him escape from the palace. Where she escaped to I do not know.
The child was a girl.
A sweet, sweet girl.
I gave her the name I had always wanted.
'Stellanova', which means 'new star'.
Stellanova's hair is red like her father's, so there is no way she can escape detection.
So, my brother told his confidantes to raise the child by dying her hair silver, a color that would never remind anyone of her, if she were ever found.
Once again, my father was furious with me for letting the child escape. This meant that he was going to kill her, too.
But this does not mean that he was particularly cruel.
Royal blood is special.
If anything happens to the child, there will be those who will raise her up as a banner and start a rebellion.
It may be natural for a king to consider the danger of keeping her alive.
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