Volume 6 Chapter 113 Let’s Start With Kai
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
”Ko-ko-ko, kozu, kozu, kozu you paa,” I stammered.
I couldn’t bring myself to say the simple phrase “let’s make babies.” My tongue wouldn’t move right from the tension—a common phenomenon called roretsu ga mawaranai [T/N: “speech doesn’t flow”].
We’re already doing the deed properly, so there’s no reason to be embarrassed about saying “making babies” now. But doesn’t “kozukuri” [T/N: “making babies”] sound even kinkier than “s*x”? It’s hard to get the words out. Could this be the power of kotodama [T/N: “the spirit of words”]?
”Saburou, calm down,” Ms. Nina scolded gently. Her calm expression held only for the moment—when it comes to anything s*xual, Ms. Nina is the one who fidgets the most.
I took a deep breath to steady myself. If I lined up prime numbers in my head, could I keep my composure? I kind of believed that. The professor said activating the brain’s logic center switches you into sage mode. Sounds dubious, though.
”So, um, what I mean is… first, let’s start with the basics, okay?” I said hesitantly.
”Oh, I don’t really get it, but it sounds grand, like a war chronicle or something,” Ms. Shirakaba replied.
Did she understand? Stories from the Spring and Autumn period and the Warring States often show up in her favorite manga, after all.
”Because, you see, addressing the declining birthrate is important. First, the king has to set an example. So, to be blunt, don’t you want kids soon? Don’t you?” I asked.
Huh? Ms. Shirakaba jumped up from her comfy chair, and everyone else stood too. Why?
”Now, let’s hear what you have to say!” she commanded.
Ah, so this isn’t a story to doze off to. Timing and place matter, huh.
* * *
”So, that’s why I want kids, but what must we overcome to break the curse of the declining birthrate?” I asked.
”Love! I think,” Sar-Sar answered softly.
”That must be the essence of boujoujutsu [T/N: s*xual techniques],” Ms. Nina added.
”Isn’t it just about frequency? And timing,” Sar-Sar chimed in.
Love, huh? Nice. Sar-Sar’s answer was soothing. If there’s love, doing it often isn’t a burden. “What you like, you do well,” right?
I’d heard from fathers that it’s all about working hard until you succeed. The curse of the declining birthrate seems to tighten every year, and just doing it a lot will eventually hit a wall.
If the curse is a system to optimize human numbers, maybe it lifts once we reach the ideal population?
”From a god’s perspective, what’s the optimal number of humans?” I asked.
”They say about 200,000 lived on the Japanese archipelago during the Jomon period [T/N: prehistoric era],” Ms. Shirakaba answered, surprisingly knowledgeable.
”But why the Jomon period? Wouldn’t the Edo period work?”
”I don’t really remember, but during the chaotic shogun era, there were about 30 million, right? From a god’s perspective, that seems like too many,” she mused.
There were surprisingly many people in the Edo period. If Perry hadn’t come, could they have sustained life with 30 million without oil or coal?
”Edo period is a jidai-geki [T/N: period drama], right? That’s fine. From a god’s perspective, no red flags,” Uno said.
”No, Lady Uno. Edo’s population density far exceeds this world’s.”
”Rice farming is pretty much a cheat, you know,” Ms. Nina added.
”That’s not what I mean. Doesn’t the god who cursed the declining birthrate want humanity to live by hunting and gathering?”
I saw it now. From the god’s view, primitive life might be fascinating to watch—a world where death and hunger are constant. I wouldn’t want to live that way, but watching it unfold would be thrilling… never a dull moment.
”Seems there aren’t many forests left in human lands these days. If the wall barley disappears, brown quail and other creatures vanish too. What will be left? A barren desert?” Ms. Shirakaba said with a hint of joy. She used to love post-apocalyptic anime.
”If it’s El’s child, they’ll be fine. Even in a broken world, I’ll teach them how to hunt,” El promised.
”Oh, how reliable. Well, if it’s your own body, you can manage with anything, but how you’ll feed your subjects is the true test of a prince’s caliber, don’t you think?” Ms. Nina said.
Tizzy’s child might struggle. Though they’re also my child… As a father, what can I really do?
”If the declining birthrate measures succeed, we’ll need a compromise even the gods accept, or everything could be overturned,” Ms. Shirakaba warned.
After all, we’re dealing with someone who can move the goalposts at will. We need a truce that satisfies gods and humans alike.
”Um, should we stop talking about such heavy topics and just cuddle a bit? You won’t win the lottery unless you buy a ticket, after all,” Sar-Sar suggested.
Was this talk boring Sar-Sar? Usually Uno gets bored first and starts acting bratty, but today they listened seriously.
”That’s improper, Sar-Sar. A lady should be more modest,” Ms. Nina chided.
”Why? Is it improper even between husband and wife? I think that’s how we’ll win against the declining birthrate,” Sar-Sar argued.
”Ahaha. You got me there. I’m starting to get a little impatient too,” I admitted.
That meant my body was getting ready for… well, I wasn’t in the mood to celebrate. A man’s readiness is simple, but for a woman it’s slower, a different rhythm for every girl. Pleasing multiple wives at once? A whole new level of difficulty.
From what I hear, men rush to the finish line, while women insist on going round for a second or third time—until the men are drained. A vicious cycle.
The basics of boujoujutsu are about holding off until the right moment. If there’s room to breathe, it’s easier to show care for the other person. Forget the birthrate curse for a second; what we really need is s*x education.
* * *
”I wish I had a private space like Ms. Nina,” I said.
Ms. Nina’s shy, so group play was out. That’s why I made her a portable private room—a personal tent. Sar-Sar and El wanted one too, so I’m working on it. I’ll make one for Ms. Shirakaba as well.
”Oh, Lady Shirakaba, don’t you want to join us for some fun?” Ms. Nina asked.
”No, it’s different. That’s that, this is this,” she replied curtly.
True, true. One-on-one with someone you love is different from group play. It has its own special charm.
In the end, we made private tents for everyone. Shirakaba-san wanted to call hers a “suite room” or something embarrassing like that, so I vetoed it immediately.
Maybe we should have s*x first, then set up the tents? Nah, that’s unlikely. The pink atmosphere we had earlier is completely gone now.
I’m the kind of guy who can read the room. Just wait—I’ll create an amazing lovey-dovey space like you expect.
”Your Majesty, I really want a vanity like this,” Sar-Sar said, showing me a tablet with a catalog of luxury furniture.
Nice taste, but damn, the price was steep. Still, I could make it myself—just need to buy materials.
Old teak wood stockpiled in Japan would be perfect. It’s cheap since it’s worn-out. After planing the surface, the beautiful grain emerges. The best thing about old wood is its stability—no warping.
I glue it with wood glue to make laminated wood, then carve the parts. Dwarven style would use hide glue, but it smells for a while… Does high-end furniture usually smell? Maybe next time I’ll try hide glue.
Luxury furniture here is usually ornate, but I want to leave the grain visible and keep it simple. Can you appreciate the beauty of clean design?
”It’s beautiful! It feels fresh somehow,” Shirakaba said.
”Aren’t you just overflowing with desire?” Sar-Sar teased.
”Right now, it’s more my desire for stuff. I want a beautiful room surrounded by wonderful furniture, then I’ll cuddle up with my beloved husband,” Shirakaba said.
”Hmph, you think sweet thoughts like that will bless you with children?” I teased.
”Maybe thinking less about it works better, huh?” she replied.
Hmm. So it’s about approaching it with a clear, empty mind—a true master’s state.
Also, lately Tizzy’s been the scapegoat for Sar-Sar. A reversal of fortunes? Well, as long as they get along, it’s fine.
* * *
”This is what I want. Make it, make it!” Uno pressed the tablet toward me.
”What’s this? Rodin’s Gates of Hell?” I asked. “Damn, how did you even find this? Definitely not bedroom decor… What am I supposed to do with it? So you want to add all these extra decorations to the furniture, huh?”
”Yes, something impressive. Nothing worse than the dwarves’ stuff,” she replied.
Sounds like they want to turn the room into a final boss’s lair. Bad taste, or maybe I’m just losing interest. Or maybe I’ll discover a new kink?
Maybe I should order a Rodin replica from my uncle. Nah, anything similar should work, right?
Inspired by the little spirits floating around, I’ll deck the bronze furniture with every excess detail. This is… really fun, isn’t it? I always thought over-decorating was tacky, so I never did it—but emptying my head and going for it feels like a return to childhood.
”What is this? Some kind of evil god statue?” Uno asked.
”I got a little carried away, adding some Jomon pottery and primitive art taste. Kind of regretting it now,” I admitted.
”I—I see? Well, it’s fine. Not what I wanted, but maybe I’ll like this instead,” she said.
”Uno is cute, though,” I added.
”What the heck, you idiot. Talking back to someone older? So rude! Just make more already,” Uno snapped.
And so she took everything I made. A few pieces I didn’t like—I was thinking of breaking them later and remaking them. But if Uno likes them, then fine.
”I like Showa retro. Taisho romance is good too, but things like Mobo and Moga aren’t… my taste,” she said.
I understood maybe 20% of that, but I got her obsession.
”The original source—is it an anime? I want reference material. Tell me the title.”
”Nah, it’s live-action. I just remember the scene—I don’t know the title. It’s about a young couple embracing on a thin rice cracker futon in a 4½-mat room, with a light bulb that isn’t LED. A story from the good old days when humanity still believed in the future,” she explained.
Maybe around the high-growth economic period? A movie from Grandpa’s generation… I only know *Roman Holiday.* Probably stage props made of plywood. Making that would be easy.
Ah, weren’t real incandescent bulbs discontinued? Edison managed to make them, so I can too. I could even use bamboo for the filament or some tungsten I have left. Sealing non-combustible gas inside the glass bulb looks tricky, though. The sharp tip of Edison’s bulb is key—they must melt the glass tube at the end to seal it. Was it argon gas? Noble gases are probably best, but would CO2 or nitrogen work? I’d have to try.
Actually, no need to make bulbs from scratch. Maybe some old ones are mixed with the antiques I brought. I think I’ve seen old work lights before.
”Sorry for being so selfish,” she said.
”It’s fine, I don’t mind. I like it,” I smiled.
I love making things. It’s more fun when someone challenges me rather than creating aimlessly. It motivates me. Ideas I’d never try on my own, things I’d never consider—even if pointless, if someone needs them, they have value. They’re worth making. Fulfilling my wife’s selfish request with a custom item—that’s the ultimate joy of being a craftsman.
”You really spoil someone, huh? Feeding the fish after you catch them. I love that about you,” Uno teased.
Heh. The fish farming business is booming. I found fish from another world prefer algae sludge from swamps. Sounds like it’d stink, but they actually smell more like sweetfish now.
They say when spring comes to the dining hall, they’ll add carp fry to the menu. Fish roe sprinkled over sashimi, with a vinegar-miso dressing that’s exquisite. It’s freshwater, so parasites might be an issue—but magic handles that, so no worries.
Should we sell it as a good-luck charm for kids, playing on child-bearing and child-making? Nah, that pun only works in Japanese.
* * *
Ms. Nina stares quietly at her tablet. The sweet room made just for her was set up the first night, but maybe there’s more she wants? Bring it on! Anything for Ms. Nina—I’ll do it all.
”What are you looking at? Eh, a paper on fertility?” I asked.
What’s Uncle sending her? Well, it might be important knowledge here. Ms. Nina reads English and German without cheat codes. Papers like that would challenge even native speakers. That talent must be the cheat.
”Earth books are amazing. They explain tough things so easily. Totally opposite from scholars here,” she said.
”Well, fewer taboos here, I guess?” I offered.
”That’s just a comparison. No matter the world, important people write complicated stuff. Especially here—they say the incompetent shouldn’t touch knowledge, so everything’s cryptic,” she explained.
”The curse of low birth rates—I might have found a solution,” Ms. Nina said.
Eh? That easily? Ms. Nina, you’re amazing!
”Eh, really?” I said.
”As expected of Lady Nina,” Tizzy smiled.
”Well, it’s still a hypothesis. We’ll need to test it with Saburou,” she added.
Eh? I’m the guinea pig? The curse of the gods is on men.
”Goblins and orcs are allergic to wall barley, right? During the last demon king attack, many female knights got pregnant,” Ms. Nina noted.
I’d heard goblins get pregnant easily. Orc and female knight combos—classic Japanese light novel trope. “Kukkoro,” short for “kukkore” (to kill), actually a thing.
”For their honor, I’ll say the kukkoro rate isn’t that high. Humans mating with female goats have a higher rate,” Uno said.
”Kyaa, Lady Uno, how can you say such things? I’ve been tainted,” Sar-Sar said, looking thrilled.
Goat… that’s probably deviant, right?
Wait. Maybe goblins and orcs aren’t super virile—they just don’t eat wall barley, so their sperm aren’t cursed?
The gods, who can’t allow wall barley, must have cursed it. Yeah, gods here would totally do that.
* * *
”So, you’re saying we should stop eating wall barley?” I asked.
Just make sure El, who’s allergic, has the same menu. I’ve stocked plenty of rice in my magic bag—it’s all good.
The rice planting experiment went well. Soon, most nearby swamplands will become paddy fields.
”If it’s just our country, we could be self-sufficient with rice. We have to promote Japanese cuisine to counter the declining birthrate,” I said.
”But before that, um, we need to verify the hypothesis, okay?” Ms. Nina blushed and fidgeted.
It’s cute, but teasing her would be the worst move.
Here’s the passage with inline T/Ns added for potentially puzzling terms:
* * *
Having fought with Ms. Nina many times, I know this kind of joke will definitely make her mad. If I’m not careful, she won’t talk to me for ten days.
Plus, there’s Uno, who can’t read the room, and a slightly mean Tizzy. If they start poking fun at a sulking Ms. Nina, I can’t even imagine the chemical reaction that would trigger.
You should never make jokes that hurt people. It’s a fundamental rule for a peaceful harem.
”Well, I’ll do my best. I’ll give it my all. I’ll do everything I can,” I promised.
Heat spread across my ears. My face was probably flaming, too.
As a king, I’ve trained myself not to show emotion, but here, it was impossible.
If I kept a poker face with Ms. Nina, I’d probably end up disliked.
* * *
I wonder how long the curse of wall barley [T/N: a fictional cursed grain] will last. Ten days? Or years? Time doesn’t really matter here.
If Ms. Nina’s theory is right, then having s*x right after the summoning [T/N: the act of calling forth someone from another realm] should break the curse, right? Since the rumor hasn’t even spread, there’s probably no precedent.
I tried to recall the days after the summoning. At first, everyone was like a borrowed cat—cautious and tense. By the third day, some grew cocky—but by then, they’d already eaten the wall barley bread.
Being summoned just for breeding feels like a letdown. Without love, I can’t fully commit. Nightmares of the Amazons flashed through my mind [T/N: the legendary tribe of fierce warrior women].
Is this place heaven or hell? It depends on your heart. Alright, let’s do this! I steeled my courage and pushed forward.
After all, I’m a hero, right? For the sake of my beloved wives, I’ll give it my all.
By the way, I wonder if “Enyakora” is a loanword? I understand what it means, but it has a strange ring to it. [T/N: Possibly a borrowed term from another language.]
Notes:
• Ms. Nina – Doll Princess (Auroora 217), renamed by the protagonist. Beautiful blonde, ~168 cm, slim waist. Wears adventurer attire. Made from artificial parts and wooden limbs, resembling a princess. Knowledgeable, can read, write, and use basic healing magic. Reliable partner, often saves the protagonist with her skills.
• Nina – Doll Princess (Auroora 217), renamed by the protagonist. Beautiful blonde, ~168 cm, slim waist. Wears adventurer attire. Made from artificial parts and wooden limbs, resembling a princess. Knowledgeable, can read, write, and use basic healing magic. Reliable partner, often saves the protagonist with her skills.
• Shirakaba – A paladin who seems to be a skilled fighter. He’s introduced as someone with a strong defense and healing abilities.
• El – She is a giant woman, appeared as Saburou’s captor, living alone in a large tent, skilled in hunting and cooking, proposes marriage to Saburou.
• Tizzy – Claims to be Duke’s daughter, a noble with advanced magic skills. MC and Ms. Shirakaba lover.
Please bookmark this series and rate ☆☆☆☆☆ on here!
Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
Leave a Reply