Volume 6 Chapter 123 Heroic Tale
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
Since my son was going to tell us his heroic tale, and it was his very first one, I felt it would be wasteful to listen only half-heartedly.
Should I have Claude stand at a podium and let everyone listen? That might be too over the top, and he would get embarrassed. People say only parents enjoy things like school recitals. As a father who wanted to be understanding, I thought I should make it a little more casual.
Maybe make it lighter, with some snacks, like a dinner show.
That said, I had never been to a dinner show in Japan. I had only seen them in dramas. In places like that, something always happened right away. Gunshots, a woman’s scream, police sirens. “All mysteries solved.” But I had no idea what the actual dinner show was like. That was a problem.
In this world, I had been to many banquets. Banquets held at night always put effort into mood lighting.
”By night, by distance, under the hat” [T/N: old saying meaning things look better in dim light] — something like that.
I had listened to the complaints of the gourmet Baron many times. At banquets, food was just an accessory. First came lighting, second the furnishings, third the drinks, and food was only after that.
There were many banquets where the food looked good but tasted awful. In this culture, roast quail was the finest treat. Taste-wise, dwarf cuisine was far better. Though even that centered on roast pig.
We did not need expensive candles. Ms. Shirakaba was good at light magic. And if the spirits of light thought it looked fun, they would join in too.
As for furnishings, maybe we did not need them? Just tables, chairs, and tableware.
Furnishings mattered when hosting nobles. If you looked weak, guests would pocket knives or cups. Nobles in this world were like bandit leaders. Many had sticky fingers. So people usually prepared cheap tableware depending on the TPO [T/N: Japanese acronym, “time, place, occasion”].
If it was too expensive, you were seen as an easy mark. If it was too cheap, you were mocked as stingy. By the thieves themselves.
When I tried to use cutlery my uncle had sent from a 100-yen shop, the dwarves stopped me with all their strength. Made-in-Japan stainless steel forks and knives were super rare here. Even one could sell for a gold coin.
Instead, they prepared brass cutlery sets made by apprentice dwarves for practice.
Even so, nobles would slip them into their cloaks and take them home. These nobles… Brass left a bad taste on the tongue, but they were tasteless people.
Well, at least the few who did not steal had their reputation raised.
This time it was a family party, so I would use sterling silver tableware.
The silverware I brought out was handmade by me as a hobby. If someone in the family wanted it, I would gladly give it as a gift. So there was no worry about theft here.
Some pieces looked too handmade, but that could be fun if we called it character.
Spirits did not steal. They sometimes hid things to play or made mischief, then forgot about them. But they also helped me search again, so it was no problem.
We could use silverware daily here, but silver turned black. It was good that it darkened when reacting to poison, but it also tarnished with time. Maybe I should have the kids help polish it? It might be fun if we all polished together. Like popping bubble wrap — it gave that same satisfaction.
If I added recessed mold designs to silverware, the black tarnish stayed in the grooves. But I could plan that and make it look like shading. That could be interesting. But for tableware, hygiene mattered. It could turn into a nest of germs.
For easy polishing, I also made smooth curved designs with little detail. But those ended up looking like futuristic tableware from twentieth-century sci-fi. People’s tastes would differ.
I wanted to talk about things like that slowly with my kids.
The tables and chairs were my woodworking practice pieces. Something like laminated wood that looked like parquet, or parquet that looked like laminated wood? I put small pieces of wood together, hand-made one by one. Random patterns appeared, and that was fun.
Once the Wall Barley issue was solved, young trees would grow in the forest. But it would take decades before they became big enough to cut into lumber. I was thinking about ways to pass down woodworking skills to the future. Studying laminated wood was part of that.
Top dwarves and master craftsmen would be fine, but second- and third-rate skills were quickly lost. In some villages, they could not even make wooden bowls anymore.
Many craftsmen sold off tools passed down for generations and closed their shops. If this went on, commoner life would fall back to the Stone Age.
”A lot of small desks lined up. It looks like an elementary school party.”
My elementary school never had such a party event, but I understood what Ms. Shirakaba meant. I had used wooden desks from old movies of common schools as reference. The fine finish looked like something made for nobles. I did not know if nobles ever attended common schools, though.
I set out a few extra seats. The small spirits would surely come play in swarms. I would prepare plenty of sweets too.
Next, drinks and light food. It would be cruel if Claude had to talk nonstop. Snacks you could eat easily would be good.
I took out sandwiches and canapés from my magic bag. The spirits helped with serving. Their sneaking bites were, well, their pay.
”Father’s magic is, how should I say, very convenient.”
”It is just storing meals in an inventory, isn’t it?”
Inventory, huh. That was a Western game term. Ms. Shirakaba sometimes called it an item box. Either way, the meaning was clear, so anything worked.
”That is what makes it amazing. Kisarra, you fool. Always preparing in advance and seeing ahead. That is the most important thing.”
It made me a little happy when my son praised me. Or rather, I was moved. Oh man, I was pretty easy.
”Japanese convenience stores also had everything, like magic. As long as you had money.”
Ms. Shirakaba was so blunt. I totally agreed, but was that good for education?
There really were things money could not buy. But with enough money, you could get almost anything?
Anyway, teaching proper sense about money was important.
”I would like to visit Mother’s homeland once. With my brains and strength, conquering Earth would be no trouble.”
Claude was, how to say, an interesting guy. Normally people did not think about world conquest.
But in his case, he might really have the strength. I should warn him before he actually tried.
Then again, maybe in this world, he had the qualities of a hero?
In modern Japanese values, conquest was an absolute evil. Still, not having to think about war was enviable. Politicians’ work would be cut in half.
Here, the people were warlike. If it was a winnable war, everyone wanted to do it. Like a festival?
I never wanted to do it again. Shea-Shea had it the hardest. The paperwork was crushing. No wonder military officers and civil officials hated each other.
Until now, the Demon Lord’s presence had stopped wars between humans. But of all things, I had defeated the Demon Lord. Actually, he just went home, but the nations would not see it that way. From now on, like it or not, we would have to act like a strong nation.
Great powers would expand on their own. At worst, it could turn into a Warring States period. And this was the busy season when I had to spread rice farming.
Maybe I should just conquer all human lands and force rice farming? It was a pushy way, but if we had strength, it would be the fastest path.
Sigh, my heart was getting worn down. For now, I just wanted to be healed by looking at my children.
The dinner show — no, the party — was ready.
Claude stood up at the birthday seat that served as a podium. He could have stayed seated.
It was not his birthday, but today he was the star.
”I only planned to tell Father, so to have a place like this prepared feels quite embarrassing.”
”You say that, but you are dying to talk.”
”Kisarra, be quiet and listen. Ahem, Ladies Annnd Gentlemen, Dad and Mom…”
What was this? Claude was making a strange greeting. An anime quote maybe? It had to be from anime.
The children and the spirits loved anime. After the power broke and they could not watch anymore, the spirits began acting out their favorite anime in plays.
Since the spirits could share the memory of watching, once one of them had seen an anime, it could be passed down forever even if the machines were broken. Still, I wanted to see one of those anime plays.
”Ahem, ahem, I have a unique skill of Prophecy. I can see important events of the future. It would not be wrong to call it a cheat of broken power!”
”Does it not also show you things that do not matter?”
”Kisarra, you fool. Things that seem unimportant may turn out to be important. You cannot know the answer until your life ends. You are stopping the story, so be silent now.”
Kisarra traded looks with Tizzy. Silence was a virtue, but throwing in the right heckle was also the mark of a lady. Like the linked poems of Heian nobles? It was a test of wit and grace?
Watching the brother-and-sister comedy made me smile. It really hit me that I had become a father.
But as Claude said, his heroic tale seemed ready to derail into the wrong direction.
Among flying heckles, I thought real storytellers who performed live were amazing. Claude was not a pro, so unless we listened politely, it would be hard for him.
”Anyway! From long ago, I had sensed the presence of a stalker jerk Hero who was waiting for Mother. To defeat the Demon Lord, I had to become stronger. At the same time, I needed the strength to beat the jerk Hero too. Training was killing two birds with one stone!!”
What was this? The vocabulary felt poor, or maybe forced. This kid seemed bad at insults.
”Jerk Hero,” huh. Sleazy summoned heroes were not rare, so the phrase was worn out and not fresh.
To put it simply, Claude trained hard to protect the mother he loved from a stalker.
”But then! That scummy stalker man also had the ability of Prophecy!! My one-sided advantage was gone!”
A rival? It was awful if a scummy stalker became the rival character.
Still, I wanted to hear more. Maybe it was just a parent’s bias, but Claude might have a gift for writing plays.
”If you know the enemy and know yourself, you will be safe. I believed that and kept training. Lucky or unlucky, every time I slept I saw Prophecy dreams of battles with him. Again and again I was defeated, reaching tragic bad ends. They were nightmares.”
Oh, so he had experienced defeat, even if only in dreams.
”His source of strength was an ability to steal skills and magic. Most likely, it was a unique skill gained at the time of otherworld summoning. Sometimes he even called himself a Black Sage. The Sage class can use every skill and magic they learn. That meant he could use everything he stole. As long as he had enough MP. Even the skill of Prophecy was something he had stolen from someone.”
The Sage class was known for being able to use all skills and magic. Probably something like installing all needed programs when the class was gained.
But was that good or bad?
Stargazers could hardly use attack magic.
I could copy every magic I saw with my Editor skill, but I could not cast most of them. Some kind of basic program was missing from me.
Why were only Sages given such favor? Then I realized. When installing an OS on a computer, you uncheck all unneeded features. On the cheap PC I bought with pocket money, I had to cut it down to the bone or it was too heavy to run.
Since there were many classes, it made sense to focus on specialists.
In fact, Sages tended to end up poor in dexterity. Even with the same magic, they could lose in speed to the lower Magician class.
I thought I would not lose to Claude in a contest of scam skills. And in Astronomy skill, I would never lose.
”To stand against him, I aimed to become a Sage. Mother’s strongest training plan included a Sage route too. As expected of Mother. To resist his stealing skill, I leveled up thoroughly. I also learned resistance-boosting magic first. And what do you know, in my Prophecy dreams, my win rate began to rise.”
Yep, he really loved his mother. Well, I understood. She was not especially beautiful and had many flaws, but I liked my own mother too.
A White Sage versus a Black Sage. A duel of low dexterity.
”Since he also had Prophecy skills, he must have seen our battles too. Yet he never gave up the ambush. He must have been that obsessed with Mother. Unforgivable, right?”
If Ms. Shirakaba’s actions were foreseen and ambushed, then if she had just stayed in Uno’s Nest, the attack would never happen. But knowing her, that was impossible.
”In the end, once the battle started, the stealing skill was not so threatening. It only stole skills and magic at random. If you learned lots of useless skills and pointless magic, that became the counter. Thanks to the level gap, I resisted them all.”
He made a smug face.
So the training arc ended quickly. Now it was the battle with the jerk Hero? Well, that was what he most wanted to talk about, but he could have stretched it more.
Then again, heroic tales of amateurs were like that. Even adventurers in taverns jumped to the climax in a messy way. Claude was already better, since he did not loop the same point endlessly.
I also used to fill my item box with sand, pebbles, and weeds for PK countermeasures. In online games, I mean. Same principle. If it was random theft, fill it with junk and you had a high chance of safety.
But if you could resist, that was best. The Sage class was strong in magic defense anyway.
”The real problem was mental attacks like charm or hypnosis. These were dangerous, but since they were so dangerous, countermeasures existed. Buffs to raise resistance, substitute items, and many more. If you knew the enemy’s tricks ahead of time, you could shut them down with preparation. Not only my strength, but also Mother’s, the spirits’, Doga’s, and Kisarra’s strength too. Thanks to all that, we nullified everything.”
Charm was really bad if you had no counter. In the past, many people were victims of Alraune [T/N: seductive plant monster]. They drained you dry without death return, and it was tragic. Nowadays, plant-woman monsters were improved into… houseplants?
If I had been single, I might have collected them.
Anyway, in some game, if you got hit by mental control in solo play, it was instant death. Now that I thought of it, it was scary. What happened to your body while you were dead?
”It was almost a perfect win, a one-sided game. But a problem remained. Do you know what, Father?”
He was asking me? So this was audience-participation style.
Fine then. Time to show off the cool side of a dad.
”He seems obsessed. If he escaped with death return, he would be trouble later, right?”
Letting a wounded beast escape was dangerous. And this was a human with cunning.
”As expected of Father. Mother said it was too much to make him lost, but if you let a villain live, new victims will only appear. That is why I learned barrier magic that blocks teleportation. I also learned how to rewrite death return points. All so he could not escape.”
Whoa, total “kill-with-certainty” mode. Scary.
But to protect the ones you love, you needed that level of resolve.
”I developed a running magic that let me learn the skills and magic used against me. I saw that he always opened with his stealing skill. That became my secret card for total victory. Licking his lips, he stole Mother’s light magic!! Unforgivable! I pulled him down to the ground and, with my newly learned stealing skill, I stole everything from him!”
Eh? The fight ended just like that? Well, I guess that was fine.
So Ms. Shirakaba had her magic stolen? If it was light magic, she should have been able to learn it again easily. Surely there was no strange rule that once stolen it could never be regained?
From what I heard, Claude’s running skill was like mine. In the hands of a Sage, it turned into a godly skill.
Wait, wasn’t this kid too much of a cheat? No wonder he got a little arrogant.
”In the end, he was just an amateur at battle. He depended only on skills and magic. Once his always-win pattern broke, he was just a small fry. He still spat insults, but the truth was simple. His death return rate was over one hundred percent. He acted bold only because he knew he would never be lost. Unforgivable, right?”
Ah, summoned Heroes could change their starting ability scores, huh. I could not, though.
The success rate of death return was corrected by vitality and luck.
If you forced it past one hundred percent, you became twisted as a battle type. Suited more for tanks or thieves.
Without enough bonus points, you ended up as a weak meat wall or a clumsy thief. Even so, not being lost gave unmatched safety. Some summoned Heroes built that way did exist.
”Did you know? Equipment effects and buffs could also prevent loss. On the other hand, disease, poison, and debuffs could raise the chance of loss. When I told him that, his attitude changed at once. He cried, begged for his life, and apologized to Mother. But it was only words.”
I see. Equipment boosts and buffs counted for job change conditions too, so they also mattered for loss checks.
That was why soldiers loved the +1 luck rings. Rarely you could make +2, but +3 was almost never. The dwarves had national treasure items with +5, so it was possible. I still had a lot to learn.
”What I did, looked at from the outside, was just bullying someone weak. To call it a heroic tale is arrogant. I only studied the enemy’s tricks, made full countermeasures, and beat him in a sure-win setting. I can never be a hero like Father.”
Huh? My rating was high! I was super weak, and only ended up giant-killing by accident.
Claude’s way was correct. The key was to win safely and surely. This was not a shonen manga. We did not need thrills or suspense.
But what about the heroic tale’s ending? Did he make the guy lost or not? That part was crucial.
”Mother told me this. He had lost all his skills and magic, and the strength to do evil. Forgive him, she said. Maybe he felt her words, or maybe he had learned the pain of being stolen from, but he began to say he truly repented. Yet I kept going until he was lost. I could not stop. I do not regret it. Father, was I wrong?”
At the end his voice shook. Poor kid.
So he did make the guy lost. Now I could relax.
Killing a nasty villain was the right call. Even if he repented, after three days he would change again.
No, I could not say that to my son. This was the turning point. I felt like my one word here could guide his whole life.
But lying with pretty words would also be wrong. That would open the way to hypocrisy or fanaticism.
Claude was likely one of humanity’s strongest. If he went astray, this world could become hell.
”Thank you for protecting everyone. It was a painful duty.”
”Faaather, you really understand me!!”
Claude burst into tears.
Battle strength and mental strength did not always match. Some strong or handsome guys had shockingly weak hearts.
Claude had talent and good teachers, so he had little experience with failure. Thanks to Uno’s strict training, he knew defeat in battle, but the kinds of failure were unbalanced.
I hated failure too. I only wanted to do what I was good at. I never wanted to deal with people who didn’t match me.
If I could live forever in a flower field, I would be fine with that. I was that soft.
But I could not keep running from the things I hated. It was not that I chose to face them. I just could not run. I had no right to sound proud.
Still, I learned many things thanks to that, so in the end, it was okay.
”Do not rush. Take your time and experience many things. Then your view of the world will expand on its own.”
”So you mean I was ignorant and narrow-minded?”
”You are very serious. Many geniuses are narrow-minded. That makes them easy marks for small-time villains.”
Was being tricked also a kind of life study? The question was whether you could recover fast. If the damage was too great and broke your heart, you could not study anything.
”I will beat such people. I can tell truth from lies.”
”That is a relief, but sometimes you should doubt even that skill. Who made such a skill, and for what reason?”
”You mean doubt the gods?”
”Did gods really make the skills?”
With Editor skill, I could also change skills. They were a kind of program.
A top programmer could probably make original skills or magic.
Were programmers gods? I had heard the phrase “god programmer.” In internet slang, “god” just meant excellent, not divine.
”Earth’s computers are so amazing, I could believe they were made by gods.”
”They were made by humans. The fruit of people around the world piling up work.”
”When humans join strength, they can reach the realm of gods.”
”Claude, that is dangerous thinking. In Babylon long ago, there was a great incident…”
As Claude and I got heated, the women must have thought the heroic tale had ended, because they began snack time.
They chatted happily over canapés.
So that was the end of the heroic tale? If he was satisfied, that was fine.
Sweets flew overhead. That was the little spirits. Playing with food, huh? I should scold them.
But since they always ate everything without waste, maybe it was fine.
Do not leave food behind. In the end, that was my standard of good and evil.
Justice, or seigi, was only like that. It changed by person and position.
”Father is a wonderful man. Tonight, let us talk until dawn about the coming future.”
Good. Perfect timing. I had endless things to say about rice farming.
While eating pot-au-feu rice porridge, I would tell them my plan to save the world.
I would explain it to Ms. Shirakaba and the others too. They had nodded with wise faces, but really they had not understood much.
If they did not understand, I would explain until they did, then praise them at the end. Otherwise people would not move.
That was what Yamamoto Isoroku had said.
Notes:
• Claude – A handsome boy, son of the narrator and Uno, with a flashy name possibly inspired by ‘The Tale of Genji’.
• Shirakaba – A paladin who seems to be a skilled fighter. He’s introduced as someone with a strong defense and healing abilities.
• Ra – The blue-skinned Demon King; a self-proclaimed scientist and explorer whose spaceship crash-landed; fights with childish enthusiasm.
• Kisarra – A beautiful girl, daughter of the narrator and Uno, named after a legendary saint.
• Shea-Shea – Mauro’s daughter. Hurt by Alexander. Became an eager fiancée after advice from protagonist.
• Tizzy – Claims to be Duke’s daughter, a noble with advanced magic skills. MC and Ms. Shirakaba lover.
• Doga – The tall giant youth, son of the narrator and Uno, who resembles a priest warrior.
• Justice – The four who enter the valley of trial. A knightly character who attempts to enslave the protagonist using a subjugation skill orb.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
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