Chapter 33 The Holy Audit of the Magic Shop
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
After Sister Amelia abruptly arrived, demanding a bizarre ‘experiment’ with the goods, I decided to hear her out again.
”Ah, so what you’re telling me is that the Church wants to verify the safety of our merchandise. And they’ve sent you to actually test it out before we put it up for sale, right?” I groused, crossing my arms.
”That understanding is generally correct,” Amelia asserted, clutching her rosary beads. “If we are allowed to check everything in advance, we won’t have to suddenly ask you to stop selling, as we did yesterday. That way, you won’t panic or suffer any financial loss, either.”
”I see. It’s certainly better for us than suddenly having a specious complaint thrown our way, but…” I trailed off, weighing the offer.
Amelia continued, “In addition, we would like to look over your current products and the state of your shop’s finances. We will pay you a finder’s fee for the trouble you’ll have, and it will let you prove your innocence. I promise you won’t incur a loss.”
It sounds exactly like an official audit from some sort of government office, doesn’t it? The fact that they’re offering a fee makes it slightly more palatable. Still, it’s hard to tell if this is a genuine move toward cooperation from the Church or just polite surveillance. The whole Beast-person Association issue is still hanging out there, too. It feels wrong for me to be fawning to the Church when my friend Aki is getting ready to help out. I grumbled internally and couldn’t help but look over at Lily.
”…I don’t think it’s a bad deal, actually,” Lily replied with a knowing smile. “It’s always helpful to have more people assisting with ‘experiments,’ and having a direct line to the Church would be beneficial. Unless, of course, they’re trying to steal the production methods and run us out of business.”
”N-No! We would never do that!” Amelia cried out. “The Church, and certainly this humble servant of God, would never! I repeat, I swear that we will not act against your interests!”
”A verbal promise is easy to break,” I muttered back. “I need a guarantee that this investigation is solely to maximize the profit of my shop—or at least an earnest effort to do so. A contract, for example. If you’re willing to do that, I’ll offer my full cooperation.”
”…Very well,” Amelia agreed. “I will guarantee your interests, as long as it doesn’t violate the teachings of God. If you are innocent citizens, we have a duty to protect your way of life.”
Sister Amelia nodded powerfully, gripping those rosary beads of hers. She seemed to have strong authority regarding my shop and merchandise because she quickly drafted a contract and signed it right away. While her efficiency was appreciated, I couldn’t shake the feeling of being rushed.
”What’s the big rush? I wouldn’t mind if you took some time to go back and report first,” I questioned.
”That would defeat the purpose of my abrupt arrival. My task is a full investigation of the facts. If you have any ledgers or accounts, may I look at them?”
So Amelia went through everything, investigating the status of my business. Honestly, I wasn’t thrilled about it, but I supposed I had no choice. It was unbelievable that I’d come all the way to a fantasy world only to be hit with a thorough audit.
Amelia seemed a little surprised that my small, personal shop even had a proper inventory list and accounting ledger. Most small-scale shops, especially those run by magic users or toolmakers—who are smart enough to just remember everything—don’t bother with such meticulous record-keeping. My old masters were exactly that type; I’d implemented a lot of reforms while I was working there, but who knows what state things were in now that I’d left.
”Well, what do you think of my shop, Sister Amelia?”
”…Are you truly a magic toolmaker? I’d be more convinced if someone told me you were an executive from some large company,” Amelia confessed, looking at me with suspicion.
”I’m flattered. I’m a merchant and a magic toolmaker, I suppose. Just a trick I learned a long time ago.”
Amelia looked doubtful, but I wasn’t lying. I was a salaryman in my previous world, so I was a merchant in all but name. I hadn’t realized how much of an advantage that experience gave me.
”Selling inexpensive goods to beginner adventurers, occasionally repairing and selling magic tools, and selling special magic tools like aphr**isiacs…. The majority of the profit goes toward restocking and developing new products. There were loans for buying the shop and a slave initially, but you’ve already repaid the investors…” Amelia mumbled, tracing the lines in the ledger.
”Surprised that my management is sounder than you expected?” I challenged.
”… H-Hmph! Pardon me, but… who exactly are you, really?” she demanded, her surprise peaking.
”Just the humble owner of a magic shop. But you’re awfully knowledgeable yourself. I wouldn’t have thought a Sister could read a ledger.”
”That is… Running a convent, or even an orphanage, can’t be done by guesswork. We are thoroughly drilled in such matters,” Amelia explained, adding as an aside, “Besides, anyone could read it if it were written this clearly.”
She was right, assuming they could read the letters. I’d heard that even in the history of my old world, monks were part of the educated class. The Church here was once a center of power. By the way, the literacy rate isn’t that low here. Not low enough to inflate the price of a literate slave like Lily, at least.
”So, what about the actual products? Feel free to compare them with the inventory list,” I offered.
”I don’t have time for a full check today. May I just confirm a few things that caught my attention?”
”Go ahead.”
”Then, this inexpensive Recovery Potion…”
The recipe for the cheap recovery potion is well-known among adventurers, so I openly explained it. I do circulate magic power to enhance the medicinal effect and preservation, and adjust the flavor and texture to make it palatable for oral consumption, of course.
As the audit continued, Amelia seemed increasingly confused. She clearly hadn’t expected the shop she’d been forced to visit to buy adult magic items from was also running a perfectly legitimate business catering to beginner adventurers.
I guess that’s what happens when the owner pulls suspicious, shady-merchant moves and flirts a lot. Amelia muttered things like, “Is this really profitable…?” and “Beginner adventurers must be grateful for this…” as she shook her head.
”And finally, the all-important adult magic items. Want to take a look at the workshop?”
”By all means. That is the true purpose of my visit.”
I left Lily to the closing duties and led Amelia to the living space. The moment she saw the ‘Tremble-D**do-Buddy’ undergoing a durability test, Amelia gave a small, sharp gasp of surprise.
”W-What is that doing?!”
”It’s a durability test, what else? I’m checking how long it’ll keep moving and when it’ll break,” I said.
”You go to all that trouble…?”
”Of course, I go to the trouble! This thing touches a client’s delicate parts directly! It would be a huge disaster if the insides popped out or it broke mid-use!” I countered defensively.
”I… I see?”
I regaled the intrigued Amelia with the tales of suffering that led to the development and launch of the ‘Tremble-D**do-Buddy,’ starting from the creation of the original ‘D**do-Buddy’. You can forgive me if I sounded a little self-pitying.
”I’ve actually been through many terrible experiences myself,” Lily interjected, having finished the closing work. She walked in with a serene, pleasant look, gazing at a vase of flowers.
”My bad. I’ve apologized many times, and I’ve compensated you, haven’t I?” I pleaded.
”Hee hee, I’m not angry. I’m just stating a fact,” Lily replied with a soft, knowing smile. That “fact” weighs on me, though. I seriously overworked Lily’s private parts during the product testing for the ‘D**do-Buddy’s production. Since I also made her try countless recovery potions meant for that area, I guess she has every right to complain. I genuinely regretted it.
”Could it be that the purchase of the slave was only for that purpose? I checked the ledger, and it was a large expenditure when you hadn’t even finished repaying the cost of the store…” Amelia observed, her voice low with concern.
”It was necessary, so what could I do? Anyway, if you feel that way, make sure to report to your superiors how carefully I run my business,” I said, hoping to shift the focus.
”Yes… I absolutely will!” Sister Amelia promised with a powerful affirmation. Well, she seemed reasonable enough once we talked. I still didn’t know about the Church as an institution, but I had a good impression of her as an individual.
”Alright, then let’s get you to try out my products one by one. Though, you’ve probably used most of the existing ones already…” I suggested.
”Eek! Now? Here? I’d prefer to take them home if possible…” she stammered.
”Hmm. That’s fine for existing products, but not for unreleased ones. I can’t be responsible if something unexpected happens.”
”T-That may be true—… No, you are right. I just heard about how much thought you put into making these magic tools. Very well, under your supervision, I will thoroughly inspect them!” she declared.
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Summary:
The Church’s audit begins with the serious Sister Amelia inspecting the Shopkeeper’s surprisingly sound financial records. She is confused by the clash between the shop’s legitimate business (cheap potions) and its adult-themed products. The Shopkeeper, defensive but cooperative, negotiates a contract. The tension escalates as Amelia is led to the workshop and shocked by the durability test of a ‘Tremble-D**do-Buddy,’ and Lily makes a pointed, humorous comment about her own experience with product testing.
—
Character Insight:
The Shopkeeper is revealed to be an astute businessman, a trait carried over from his former life, which clashes with his shady persona. Sister Amelia is a diligent and educated auditor, not just a moral scold, which explains her authority. Lily is supportive but enjoys subtly needling the Shopkeeper about his past abuses.
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Behind the Scene:
This chapter establishes that the Shopkeeper is running a legitimate and well-managed business, despite his questionable product line, which is the only reason the Church isn’t shutting him down immediately. Amelia’s role as a conscientious auditor creates an internal conflict for the Church, allowing the protagonist to continue his trade, but under close watch. The durability test scene serves as a comedic reminder of the shop’s core identity.
Notes:
• Amelia – The Sister of the Church of Demon-Subjugating, who usually buys from Kento, has light blue hair.
• Lily – the sl*ve and primary experiment subject for the magic shop, ‘Harvest.’ She has striking pink hair, Blue eyes, medium breasts, which the Protagonist associates with being ‘wanton’. She has a working knowledge of magic, which she kept hidden from the slave trader.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
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