Chapter 486 Powdered Bones and Smashed Body
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
”It stopped.”
”Eh? What has?” I asked.
”‘Tremble-D**do-Buddy’¹,” Lily said.
”Huh…?”
During our days of child-rearing and child-making, my love-slave Lily suddenly said that one day. I tilted my head, not catching her meaning. In response, Lily let out a sigh and held out a single, worn-out “Tremble-D**do-Buddy.”
”The one we were using for the durability experiment. That ‘Tremble-D**do-Buddy’,” Lily explained.
”Ah!”
The realization finally hit me, and I clapped my hands. It was a nostalgic piece – the very one I had left switched on and stuck into my desk back when I first started producing them. As I took it from her, I was overcome with an indescribable sense of deep emotion.
Through rain and wind, that “D**do-Buddy” had never stopped vibrating on the workbench of my old house. About a year ago, the vibrations had started to weaken, and I’d wondered when it would finally give up the ghost… to think it had kept shaking until now.
”When I checked it this morning, it wouldn’t make a peep. It was still twitching a bit last night, so it must have died in the middle of the night,” Lily said.
”I see. You kept a good eye on it. Thanks,” I replied.
For nearly three years, this “D**do-Buddy” had faithfully served as a guardian (?) of our home. I felt a lump in my throat… I have to give this thing a proper send-off.
”Maybe a ritual burning… Or is there a local custom for memorializing long-used tools? I should ask Tania; she might know. Actually, an Elf-style service might be nice…”
”What are you even saying? Did you forget? You said that once it stopped, you’d take it apart to analyze the cause of failure in detail,” Lily said, snapping me back to reality.
That was it. Lily’s words startled me, and I clapped my hands again while still clutching “him.” It had been three years; so much had happened that it had slipped my mind. I had intended to wait until “he” burned out his life so I could pinpoint the cause of death, using the data to improve the product and refine our sales strategy.
To keep vibrating desperately for the sake of our shop, only for his very remains to become the foundation of our future… what a display of manly spirit from a “D**do-Buddy.” I gently stroked “him,” now dull in color and shrouded in a somewhat grimy aura. It felt ridiculous, but I was honestly on the verge of tears.
”You did your best…! I swear, I won’t let your sacrifice be in vain…!”
”I repeat, what are you even saying…?” Lily muttered.
Lily’s voice and gaze were ice-cold, clearly thinking, ‘Here this idiot goes again,’ but I didn’t care. I cradled him carefully and headed to the workshop in the old house. By that, I mean our former living quarters – the place where he had worked tirelessly for three years.
”So, what’s the plan?” Lily asked.
”Hmm, let’s start with the exterior,” I said.
Despite her attitude, Lily sat down behind me and peered over my shoulder. I didn’t think it would be that interesting to her, but she seemed strangely upbeat.
”Hmm, no visible damage. The outer skin material held up to over three years of continuous use.”
I jotted down notes, confirming that the material had retained its smoothness and a decent amount of flexibility. The “D**do-Buddy” skin was a compound I’d invented – a mix of Akanashi Tree² sap and Red Slime³ bodily fluid, which I called “D**do-Buddy Liquid,” set with hardening magic.
Since I was the one who developed it, there were no prior records on how it would degrade over time. I had other early models in storage, so I knew they lasted at least three years, but this particular specimen was a priceless data point.
”So, is the problem on the inside?” Lily asked.
”Probably. Let’s see what’s going on in there…”
I held it to my ear and gave it a shake, but there was no rattle. I had secured the internals tightly to ensure the vibration transferred efficiently, so I didn’t expect a sound, but I wanted to check if the mountings had shifted. That didn’t seem to be the case, though.
”Right. Let’s slice the skin open and see the guts.”
I pulled a knife from the workbench drawer. …Yeah, I get it. Even as a man, I felt a certain hesitation about putting a blade into an object of this… specific shape, even if it was just a “harigata”⁴.
But it had to be done. It was the etiquette I owed to “him” for vibrating three years straight, and my pride as a magic toolmaker demanded it. Swallowing my absurd thoughts, I tried to chop it in half like a carrot. But the blade only left a shallow nick on the surface.
”…A knife isn’t going to cut it?” I muttered.
”They’re unexpectedly tough, aren’t they? Here, let me,” Lily said.
”Eh?”
Before I knew it, Lily had snatched the knife from my hand. Her technique was so fast I didn’t even see the movement. She swung with a speed my eyes couldn’t track. Yet, the “D**do-Buddy” looked completely unchanged.
”Uh…”
”There, all done,” Lily said.
”…Is it actually cut?”
”Yeah. Clean in two.”
She tucked the knife away and gave the “D**do-Buddy” a light tap with her finger. “He” split in half without a sound. I had intended to cut it crosswise, but she had split it perfectly down the middle, vertically. It was as if it had been cleaved from the meatus down to – yeah, let’s not go there.
”Whoa…”
”Why do you look so grossed out? Look, this is incredible,” Lily said.
Following her lead, I looked at what had spilled out. It wasn’t the Pororo Snail shells or Metag Stone fragments usually used in the vibration mechanism. It was sand – fine, silky particles.
”…Okay, that is impressive.”
”Do you think the vibration ground it down? It’s completely pulverized,” Lily noted.
”…I’m not sure. It’s possible, or it could be some other phenomenon. But I can’t believe it was ground this fine. Was it really still working yesterday?”
”Yes, definitely. You had to look closely to tell, but it was certainly trembling,” Lily said.
So even when reduced to dust, it kept vibrating until the very last second… I can’t think of a use for this yet, but as a phenomenon, it’s fascinating. I observed it for a while, then touched the grains with my fingertip.
”It just feels like ordinary sand. No vibration,” I said.
After checking the texture, I grabbed a jar and funneled the remains inside. This was a rare sample. It might be useful later, and I wanted to see if I could recycle the material if our supplies ever ran dry.
It was probably too mixed up to be salvaged, but I had to keep my options open in case the breeding project in the Nixfen territory went south. And besides…
”I wonder if the ‘Hot-Shot-kun’⁵ units are going to be okay,” Lily said.
”Yeah, I was just thinking the same thing,” I replied.
The heating circuit, “Hot-Shot-kun,” was another of my inventions – essentially a magic pocket warmer. Those circuits also used a miniature version of this vibration mechanism inside.
Since they were smaller, they might wear out even faster than the “Tremble-D**do-Buddy.” I hadn’t been able to run strict durability tests on those because of the fire hazard, which made me uneasy.
Furthermore, we had a major production hub for them in the Badcage Duke territory, primarily for export to the Coalmine Kingdom in the north. It was currently autumn. Winter hits Coalmine much earlier than it does the Canaria Kingdom. I didn’t know how the units people bought last year would behave this season. If they failed, it could turn into a diplomatic nightmare.
”Should we report this to Her Majesty the Queen for now?” Lily asked.
”Yeah. I’ll consult with Tina and my father-in-law, too. Then we’ll have to negotiate with Coalmine…”
The consequences of being in business for a long time were catching up to us. In its fourth year, my magic circuit shop, “Harvest”⁶, was facing a brand new set of challenges.
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Summary:
The protagonist and Lily witness the final moments of a long-term durability test for a vibrating magic tool. Upon dissecting the tool, they discover the internals have been pulverized into fine sand despite working until the end. This discovery raises urgent concerns about the longevity and safety of the ‘Hot-Shot-kun’ heaters sold abroad.
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Trivia:
- The protagonist had left the ddo running for three years straight.
- The ‘D**do-Buddy Liquid’ is a custom polymer-like material using tree sap and slime fluid.
- Lily’s combat skills allow her to cut objects so cleanly they don’t fall apart until touched.
- The Coalmine Kingdom is located to the north and has an earlier winter than the Canaria Kingdom.
- Badcage Duke territory is a major manufacturing hub for the shop
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Character Insight:
The protagonist displays a deep, almost irrational attachment to his creations, personifying them and treating their failure as a ‘death’. Lily serves as the pragmatic anchor, reminding him of the scientific and business-oriented reasons for the experiment.
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Behind the Scenes:
The chapter title ‘Powdered Bones and Smashed Body’ is a literal play on the idiom ‘Funkotsu Saishin’ (粉骨砕身), which usually means to work oneself to the bone, but here describes the literal state of the machine’s components.
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TL Notes:
Notes:
• Lily – the sl*ve and primary experiment subject for the magic shop, ‘Harvest.’ She has striking pink hair, Blue eyes, medium breasts, which the Protagonist associates with being ‘wanton’. She has a working knowledge of magic, which she kept hidden from the slave trader.
• Tania – An Elf adventurer who, despite her race’s reputation for low sex drive, is secretly quite passionate. She initially seemed ‘wasted’ (emotionally dry) to her friend Raika, but was easily introduced to the pleasure-items sold at ‘Harvest.’ She is easily embarrassed and attempts to maintain a dignified facade, despite her recent, frequent purchases. She wears practical but light armor over a simple cloth tunic and short pants, highlighting her grace and agility. Her primary relationship is one of friendly senior-junior with Raika.
• Nixfen – A viscount aristocrat who has started manufacturing and selling adult goods similar to Kento’s products in the Royal Capital’s pleasure district. He is described as a ‘pretty boy’ or ‘gentle-looking man’ (yasao) but is a territory-holding noble likely trained in combat.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
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