Chapter 64 The Alchemist’s Secret and the Furious Granddaughter
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
Right after being chased out by that old codger Kogima, I went straight to see my other master, Granny Miranda, the magic potion mistress. Unlike the old man, the granny is still running her shop in the back-alley street. It’s a place with such a suspicious atmosphere, which was annoyingly charming, I have to admit.
I suppose you absolutely need a dodgy shop like this tucked away in the corner of the Royal Capital. I was muttering to myself, with a weirdly superior air, that the old bat actually understood a thing or two, as I pushed open the shop door. There was no little bell like at my place; instead, the ancient wooden door let out a drawn-out, whining screeeech that also somehow felt charming.
”Granny! Your adorable apprentice is here! Are you still among the living?”
I slowly made my way through the suspicious interior, where the shelves were jammed tight with jars of magic potions and strange potted plants were set down willy-nilly across the floor. Eventually, a very wrinkled old woman in a fine robe called back from the counter deep in the back.
”Hee-hee, it sounded to me like the welcoming party was coming for you, not for me, didn’t it, boy?” the granny cackled.
”Ah, well, yes, my deepest apologies for the trouble that time…” I mumbled back.
The old woman who let out this theatrical, crackling, ‘witch-from-a-story’ laugh was none other than my alchemy master, Granny Miranda.
She was looking at me with eyes that seemed to peer right into the very marrow of a person, tossing the flippant remark right back. Naturally, she was referring to the ‘Resonance’ incident from a few days ago. That day, I’d managed to survive only thanks to the powerful restorative and aphrodisiac potions Lily and Tania had brought from the granny.
Usually, we’d exchange two or three more little digs and jokes, but I definitely couldn’t do that today. I placed a bottle of slightly expensive wine I’d brought with me on the counter. It came with a bonus—a similarly expensive wedge of cheese to go with it.
”Please accept this as a small offering…”
”Hmph, how awfully contrite you are. Let this be a lesson to you: try to keep your womanizing in check, won’t you?” she admonished. “No, no, it’s not ‘womanizing’! It’s all part of the ‘research’ for my thesis!”
The granny chuckled, already cracking open the wine. I quickly went to the back room, retrieved a glass, and handed it to her. These movements were ingrained in me from my apprenticeship here. It felt strange and oddly nostalgic, even though it wasn’t that long ago.
”What is this, cheese for a side dish, then?” she inquired.
”Yeah, you like it, don’t you, Granny?”
”I do, but since you’re here, I’d like a rare and delicious homemade snack for a change, wouldn’t I?”
”Ah, understood then. May I rummage around in the kitchen?”
”Help yourself, I couldn’t care less.”
The granny laughed her signature “Hee-hee” again. It truly felt like I was back in my training days. The granny always said that taking care of the master’s personal needs was the apprentice’s job. When I lived here, I was relentlessly put to work, doing everything from cooking and laundry to cleaning and running errands.
Well, it was the same at the old man Kogima’s place, too, but at least the granny entrusted me with some money, so the hardship wasn’t as bad.
”Here you go, how’s this look?”
”What on earth is that, now?”
”It’s Namerou¹.”
”Namer—?”
What I presented was a sort of fake Western Namerou: small, oil-packed fish from a jar, chopped up with what looked like herbs and spices. I served it with crackers, because it’s delicious combined with the cheese.
The granny looked at it suspiciously, then cautiously put a small portion on the tip of her fork and tasted it. Her eyes widened, and then she looked at me with a sly, knowing smile.
”Not bad,” she conceded. “It’s a humble offering,” I replied.
”Hee-hee, you’ll join me, too.”
Her saying “not bad” was one of her highest forms of praise. Being told to drink with her was also a sure sign she was in an excellent mood. By the way, if the snacks were lousy, she’d just push a chore on me and use my labor as her ‘snack’ instead. She really is a wonderfully vicious old woman.
”So, you came to ask me for something, didn’t you? Spit it out,” she insisted.
”Oh, you figured that out?”
”Of course I did. You don’t make something you never made during your training days unless it’s for a very serious favor, now do you?” she challenged.
The way she elegantly swirled her glass of wine was truly stylish for an old woman. She seemed to see right through everything. I struggled for a moment, wondering how to best approach the subject, but in the end, I just got straight to the point.
”Please teach me the recipe for that aphrodisiac.”
”I refuse.”
She immediately rejected me, and I flopped back dejectedly. Of course, it wouldn’t be easy. The ‘aphrodisiac’ I was referring to was the extremely potent one she’d prescribed that night. It was stronger than the one she’d taught me before, and it was likely her own original, secret recipe.
Naturally, being an apprentice doesn’t mean you get taught every single recipe. However, that aphrodisiac felt absolutely essential for my life going forward.
”P-Please don’t say that. I swear I won’t sell it, and I won’t leak the recipe to anyone. I just need a little bit for myself, for when things get really out of hand. It feels wrong to bother you for a prescription every time something happens…”
”I just told you to keep your womanizing in check, didn’t I? That stuff isn’t good for the body. Besides, it’s beyond your level to mix right now. Just manage your affairs well enough to stick to the recipe I did teach you,” she scoffed. “Ugh…”
What a bummer. There was no way this granny would change her mind. I want to manage my affairs well, but the problem is that it involves other people.
I really feel like things are going to get messy, especially before Aerith-jou’s next ‘heat’… No, I mean, she apologized profusely when she was back to normal and swore it would never happen again, but still…
”By the way, is there no medicine that can suppress a beastkin’s ‘heat’?” I asked.
”There isn’t nothing, but it’s only a temporary measure. Plus, the ingredients are far too expensive to take every month, and it’s bad for the body. On top of all that, prolonged use weakens its effectiveness, and then one day they just go completely berserk. Nobody uses it,” she explained matter-of-factly.
Well, if there was, everyone would be using it instead of relying on the “Tremble-Ddo-Buddy”²… Disappointed that my plan had failed, I loaded some Namerou onto a cracker and bit into it.
It was a good dish, even if I do say so myself, but I felt I’d wasted my best card. The granny’s good mood only lasts for that moment and that day. That means if I want to ask for another favor next time, I’ll need a completely new bottle of wine and a new side dish.
”Haah…” I sighed.
”Don’t make such a gloomy face; it’ll ruin the wine,” she chided. “Right, right. Fine, I’ll just give you a simple report then. This is the thesis I’m submitting to the Court Magicians’ assembly. It’s outside your specialty and half of it is an explicit booklet, so you don’t have to read it.”
”Hoh, is this the rumored thesis about your ‘Ddo-Buddy’?” she inquired.
I nearly spit out my wine when the word “Ddo-Buddy” came out of the granny’s mouth. I mean, I don’t want her to be shy about it, but it makes me feel strangely awkward. I wish I’d asked her for this favor when she was fifty years younger!
”What, the rumor has spread enough to reach even you, Granny?”
”No, none of my friends have mentioned it at all. My granddaughter told me about it,” she revealed. “Huh?! You have a granddaughter, Granny?!”
”What, is it so strange that I would have one?”
”Well, no, but…”
Since she runs a shop like this in a place like this, I honestly thought she was an isolated old woman, alone in the world. I even thought I’d have to arrange her funeral when she eventually passed away.
”If you have family, why are you living alone in a place like this?”
”It’s a hobby.”
”A h-hobby…”
”Hee-hee. A shady shop in a shady back alley. A suspicious old woman for a shopkeeper, who looks like she’s constantly stirring a cauldron. Don’t you think that’s marvelous?” she gloated.
”Oh, yeah. Yeah, it’s marvelous, to say the least.”
She was a kindred spirit, after all. I nodded at the granny, who was laughing in that suspicious way, and she bestowed her approval: “Your shop shows promise, too. Keep up the good work on that path.”
”Wait, but the granddaughter who knows about my thesis…” I pressed.
”Ah, she’s currently serving at the Royal Court. She complained that after all her hard work to become a Court Magician, she’s recently been forced to do the equivalent of an alchemist’s grunt work—all thanks to a certain lewd magic toolmaker.”
”Oh, that’s truly unfortunate for her…” I said weakly.
To be connected in this way, it truly is a small world. Since you needed a ‘First-Class Magic User’ license to become a Court Magician, the granny’s granddaughter must be quite brilliant. But after studying so hard, only to be forced into analyzing adult magical tools, it’s understandable that she’d complain.
”Hee-hee, she’s a competitive girl, so it must have really gotten to her. Apparently, she couldn’t even figure out the raw materials, let alone the mixing ratios or molding methods,” the granny said, amused.
”Ah, well, I owe about half of that to old man Kogima. I’m used to mixing monster materials and natural materials, and I’ve got a habit of making do with cheap ingredients,” I admitted.
”I imagine those little ladies and gentlemen fresh out of the Academy couldn’t comprehend it. That’s why I told you all to struggle more in life,” she declared.
Even though her granddaughter was struggling, the granny just seemed to enjoy it, laughing her suspicious laugh. She was enjoying the wine, with my crestfallen face, my granddaughter’s troubles, and the Namerou and cheese as her appetizers. “This is a good day,” she murmured. Honestly, what a rotten character she has.
”Oh, that reminds me, that girl is apparently being dispatched to your shop soon,” she announced casually.
”Ehh?!” I squawked.
”She was fuming, saying she was going to go and give that despicable lewd shopkeeper a piece of her mind, so you’d better brace yourself,” she warned me.
”Oh, my God…”
”She’s a beauty, just like me, but unlike me, she has very strict morals. Be careful not to get poisoned if you try anything with her.”
”Oh, no…”
Throwing that final bombshell, the granny laughed, “Hee-hee.” If a Court Magician was being dispatched, it was probably related to the “Hot-Hot Ddo Buddy” business.
To swallow the urge to say things like, ‘Please take your complaints to Her Majesty the Queen, who is now addicted to my product,’ or ‘I was totally planning on sexually harassing her, but hearing that she takes after you completely killed the mood,’ or ‘I really didn’t need to hear about your strict morals, Granny,’ I simply took a large gulp of the wine.
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Summary:
The former apprentice pays his dues to Granny Miranda, his old alchemy master, with a pricey gift and a homemade delicacy (Namerou) to try and soften her up. The master, however, is not easily swayed, flat-out refusing to share her super-strong aphrodisiac recipe, which the protagonist desperately needs to handle his new, complicated romantic life. The scene ends on a shocking revelation: Granny Miranda’s granddaughter—a brilliant Court Magician—is being dispatched to the protagonist’s shop to investigate his notorious adult magic tools, and she is furious about it. Get ready for a tense and hilarious confrontation
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Character Insight:
Miranda is revealed as a highly complex character—a tough, slightly sinister master with a deep well of affection for her apprentice, which she expresses through demanding labor and cutting remarks. Her true joy is observing the chaos she inspires, whether it’s her apprentice’s struggles or her own granddaughter’s moral outrage. Her refusal of the recipe is a form of perverse protection, knowing the drug is too much for his current skill level.
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Behind the Scene:
The protagonist’s life is becoming increasingly complicated, with his two masters (Kogima the sage and Miranda the alchemist) playing major, though contrasting, roles in his moral and professional development. The revelation of Miranda’s granddaughter serves as a natural bridge between the shady underworld of his shop and the high-society world of the Royal Court, ensuring that his embarrassing profession continues to cause him social grief. The aphrodisiac is a MacGuffin to create a high-stakes dialogue.
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T/L:
¹ [Namerou] Namerou is a Japanese dish of finely chopped raw fish (like horse mackerel or saury) seasoned with miso, ginger, and scallions. The protagonist made a ‘Western’ version with jarred, oil-packed fish and Western herbs. ↩
² [Tremble-Ddo-Buddy] This refers to the highly successful, yet embarrassing, adult magical item the protagonist invented, which has become a major topic of discussion even in the Royal Court. ↩
Notes:
• Tania – An Elf adventurer who, despite her race’s reputation for low sex drive, is secretly quite passionate. She initially seemed ‘wasted’ (emotionally dry) to her friend Raika, but was easily introduced to the pleasure-items sold at ‘Harvest.’ She is easily embarrassed and attempts to maintain a dignified facade, despite her recent, frequent purchases. She wears practical but light armor over a simple cloth tunic and short pants, highlighting her grace and agility. Her primary relationship is one of friendly senior-junior with Raika.
• Lily – the sl*ve and primary experiment subject for the magic shop, ‘Harvest.’ She has striking pink hair, Blue eyes, medium breasts, which the Protagonist associates with being ‘wanton’. She has a working knowledge of magic, which she kept hidden from the slave trader.
• Aerith – A wolf beast-person and Ouka’s daughter. She is intensely attracted to Kento’s creative genius and is not shy about showing her interest. Have gray fur hair and tail, wearing elegant dress.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
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