Chapter 263 The Race of Elves
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
I was currently meeting a man named Golarf in the reception room with Diana.
”Well, I never expected to be invited to the mansion by someone governing the frontier settlement… Is that how you treat everyone?”
”I guess it could be your name, huh?”
”Haha, if that’s the case, you’re quite easy to manipulate. Just mentioning the name of someone not recognized by face but known by name lets me meet you easily.”
”…It’s not because you share a name with the founder of Grelego that I invited you here. The reason I called you is that I don’t want anyone else to overhear the conversation we’re about to have.”
”Oh, what is this conversation about?”
”You are an elf, aren’t you?”
”…I see, that certainly isn’t a topic to discuss in public. But speaking so confidently means you don’t really believe in the elf theory that’s been passed around, right?”
The elf theory that Golarf-san mentioned refers to an unfounded rumor about a mysterious person named Golarf, who is the only one among the 4 founders of Grelego whose origins are unknown and is frequently brought up in later times.
”Yes, I had previously heard that an elf named Golarf descended to the human settlement 3 hundred years ago and then vanished.”
”What? Even after 3 hundred years, someone still remembers me in the settlement? There were some really interesting people out there”
”Isn’t it normal for a curious person to be concerned about the existence of a missing person?”
”Normally… so let me ask you, did the person who told you this care about me? I guess they just told you what I already knew?”
”…That was certainly true, but that was only because Lewya had heard about you through a third party, and the person who told Lewya about you must have been concerned about you.”
”The elf who told you about me is called Lewya, huh? I’ve never heard of her before. She was probably born after I left the village. But whatever the case may be, the fact remains that no one cares about my existence. Whether it’s my father, mother, or sister”
”Why are you so confident in saying something so sad?”
”Sad thing? Ahh”
Golarf-san briefly looked convinced by my words, then displayed a troubled smile.
”You’re misunderstanding something big. First of all, I’m not saying this out of pessimism; I’m just stating a pure fact. And the reason I can say this confidently is that elves are simply that kind of creature.”
”What do you mean by that?”
”What do you think elves are? Elves possess an extraordinary lifespan among long-lived species. Even the first elves are still alive, and their true lifespan is unknown even to the elves themselves. Some humans call these elves ‘wise beings who know the past and foresee the future,’ due to their extraordinary lifespan. However, that label is completely off the mark from my perspective as someone who knows elves. Elves do not live in the ‘past’ or ‘future’; they can only live in the ‘now.’”
”What do you mean they can only live in the now?”
”It’s exactly what it sounds like. Do you know the book ‘Aivm’ by Fix?”
”Ah… I only know the overview, it was a story about a man who gained immortality, right?”
”That’s correct. Just as the body has a lifespan, the mind also has a lifespan, and the minds of creatures can’t endure when they outlive their body’s lifespan. ‘Aivm’ depicts a man who gained immortality but couldn’t die even as his mind reached its expiration, driving him insane. I would like to ask you one question here. If the body of an elf can live for more than a thousand years, do you think the mind can also live for more than a thousand years?”
I don’t really understand what Golarf-san is trying to say, but even if I interject, it will only make things more complicated, so I’ll just answer his questions.
”I believe that if I were an elf, my spirit would last for more than a thousand years. I actually went to the village and met and spoke with the elven elders, but no one seemed crazy.”
”Oh, so you met the elders in person? Well, that’s easy. What did you think after talking to them? Did you feel the weight of a thousand years from their words and actions?
”What do you mean──”
”I’m asking you a question now, how is it?”
Golarf-san’s words left me no room for argument, so I swallowed my doubts and thought.
I clearly remember the first impression of the elder elves.
When I first saw them, I was overwhelmed by the atmosphere of the meeting hall, like the rings of a great tree, and felt intimidated.
However, once they spoke, they turned out to be surprisingly approachable, and the atmosphere quickly changed to that of a community center where local seniors gather.
They had such a light atmosphere that it was hard to believe they were elves who had lived for over a thousand years──light, huh?
”What do you think? Did you feel the weight of longevity from the elders?”
”…Indeed, compared to the long-lived beings I’ve encountered, Golarf-san might be right.”
For instance, take the earth and water spirits.
The earth spirit looks like a child when manifested, but it embodies a profound wisdom from having lived for a long time, and I can feel the weight of their experiences in every word they speak.
The water spirit appears friendly on the surface, but their distance from humans is more clearer than that of the earth spirit, presenting a different aspect of the weight of time.
On the other hand, I didn’t sense that kind of weight from the elder elves; it felt more like interacting with elderly humans who had lived for a few decades.
If it had just been one or 2 individuals, I might have accepted that “there are such elves,” but considering that all ten elders felt the same, it seems to be a trait common to the elven race itself.
”Did you notice the discomfort that elves feel?”
”…If my thoughts are correct, why are elves like that?”
”It’s a simple story. The reason elves, who are supposed to be long-lived beings, don’t feel the weight of that longevity is because they lack a history.”
”Lack a history?”
”An elf’s mind isn’t strong enough to endure millennia of memories; it can’t live for thousands of years while dwelling on lost treasures. That’s why elves don’t accumulate the past──they don’t mourn the dead or cling to history. If they did, they couldn’t remain sane.”
Golarf-san said that elves can only live in the ‘now’.
Not accumulating the past means cutting it off and living only in the present to prevent mental wear.
Otherwise, if they carried hundreds of years of memories, they would be crushed by that weight when reflecting on their lives. Perhaps that’s why the elders didn’t feel the heavy passage of time from the spirits.
If maintaining their sanity requires this, and holding onto the past is forbidden… what a cruel fate.
”Is that the basis for your claim that no one cares about your existence?”
”Exactly. If there were such an elf, mourning for a presence gone for 3 hundred years would surely drive them mad.”
”……”
”Don’t look so sad. That’s just how elves are. It’s not like anyone is to blame. It’s natural for elves to have no one to care about their existence. If that wasn’t the case, they’d go crazy. That said, I’m not going to cut off everything from my past. I just don’t remember it, but it’s still stored in my memory, so please rest assured.”
”You want me to feel at ease… doesn’t that mean you only remember that person, but that you don’t have any feelings for them at all?”
”Well, that’s how it is”
”So, for example, if Golarf-san were to return to the village now, how would his family react? It won’t be the emotional reunion you desire.”
”To my family, I am a past that can’t be retained, and they must have long lost their feelings for me… I suppose they might just think, ‘Oh, a familiar face has returned.’”
”So, that’s what an elf is?”
”Yes, that’s what an elf is. To live through vast time, we shed burdensome pasts to maintain our peace of mind and simply live light, shallow lives.”
I find myself at a loss for words at Golarf-san’s declaration about his own race being light and shallow.
Why can this person state such a sad thing so simply as a fact?
However, after hearing this, I can’t help but feel an undeniable sense of discomfort towards Golarf-san.
”Then what are you?”
”I’m the same; I’m a light and shallow elf living in the present, having discarded the past.”
”…No.”
”…What did you just say?”
As Golarf-san repeats it back as if he hadn’t heard, I reply clearly.
”No, if elves are only light and shallow beings, then why do your words──”
──knock knock
When I fail to respond to the critical knock sound that echoed in the reception room, Diana replies instead.
”Yes”
”Diana, it’s me… are you okay now?”
”Please”
The knocker is Lewya, who opens the door and enters the reception room.
Seeing Lewya come into the reception room, Golarf-san opened his eyes wide and muttered to himself.
”Sister?”
The reason why Lewya didn’t understand the concept of mental illness during the explanation of mind control magic in the past is because elves have no connection to mental illness in the first place.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
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