Chapter 283 Father’s Qualification
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
The wide forest around the frontier settlement stretched thick and dark. Golarf sat on a fallen giant tree, staring up through branches and leaves at the pale moon.
Today was the first time Golarf returned to his hometown in three hundred years.
He had moved near the town after hearing rumors that the frontier settlement and his hometown had formed a friendship. That reminded him of the Spirit Tree.
If that being — a puppet of God — knew how to finish that child, maybe it could help.
But why did he wait until today to come back? Because he was scared.
To survive for so long, elves don’t hold on to the past. They don’t grieve the dead. They don’t keep memories or feelings.
Saying that elves don’t feel was a lie — he was the one who said it. Even so, he feared that his people, his family, had left no feelings behind for him.
If he found out for sure, his fragile heart would shatter. If that happened, he’d give up everything — Grelego’s ambition, that child’s fate — and become reckless.
And now, it was happening.
”Haha… I expected this, but it still hurts…”
Golarf couldn’t stop the words from spilling out, tears streaming down.
”Father… Mother… Sister… Uuuh…!”
Now, no one in this world would remember him. No one would think of him.
He knew that deep down, but faced with the cruel truth, Golarf screamed like a child.
For three hundred years, carrying Grelego’s ambition and living just to kill his daughter, he had cursed being born an elf so many times.
If only he’d been born a short-lived creature, he wouldn’t have suffered so long.
At the same time, he wished he had stayed a pure elf in heart.
How much relief would it have brought, he thought — for friends, for the wife he loved, for his daughter too.
But the past is the past, and elves are cursed to cut it all away, like a blade that never heals.
So, Golarf began to hypnotize himself — telling himself, I am an elf.
”Hic… ug…”
But what kept him going, despite all this pain, was the “left feelings” — the feelings elves are never supposed to have.
Those feelings passed to someone he could trust completely… and now, it was enough.
Until the last moment, he wouldn’t cry — those waiting beyond would only laugh.
So Golarf wiped his tears and waited.
A rustle in the bushes drew his attention. A figure stepped out.
”Golarf.”
”…? Lewya? I didn’t expect you here.”
Lewya stood before him, looking at Golarf on the fallen tree, his face full of sorrow.
”With that face ready to cry, what happened?”
”That’s my line. You look terrible.”
”Really? Strange. I thought I was good at pretending… but I can’t anymore.”
”Seems like it. That fake smile was awful.”
”Haha, really? I worked hard on it — this was the last time…”
”You’re overdoing it, idiot. Even Neil would know you’re forcing it.”
”Is that so…”
Golarf’s tear-streaked face forced a smile as he looked at Lewya.
”What do you think, Lewya? Would my wife in the afterlife smile and welcome me like this?”
”…Are you really planning to die?”
”‘Really’? Sounds like you already know I’m about to.”
”Yes. If I were in your place, I might choose the same path.”
”What did you say?”
Surprised, Golarf stared at Lewya, then laughed weakly.
”Hah… I see. Even though I warned you, it’s too late. You’re dyed by them, just like me. My condolences.”
”Don’t say that. I don’t think I’m unhappy now.”
”You can say that now, because you’re happy. But once everyone you love is gone, you’ll regret it.”
”What about Tris?”
”There’s nothing I can do. I have nothing left to give. I’ll leave her to Neil.”
”After Neil said all that, you’re still running from your duties as a parent?”
”I can’t be a father anymore.”
”No, you still can — because that child is──”
”You want to say, ‘That child doesn’t know what happened, so maybe it’s still possible’?”
”Tch…”
”If I swallowed my feelings and loved that child as a father now, maybe she’d call me father. But that’s just convenient brainwashing, using her ignorance. Even if she forgive me after knowing the truth, I can’t forgive myself.”
The father who loved her once tried to kill her many times.
Even if Tris, grown up now, could understand the story from long ago, and forgive him for loving her now, she won’t accept that easy forgiveness.
”The only thing left that kept me alive is gone. There’s no reason to stay in a world where no one remembers me.”
”What about mother and the others?”
”To them, I’m just a stranger they vaguely recall.”
”…I see.”
Golarf’s words pained Lewya deeply, but he hesitated and spoke.
”Even if your family forgot you, I’m thinking of you.”
”…Hah. You? A stranger, thinking of me?”
”What are you saying? You’re my uncle, not a stranger──”
”Ha ha ha! Uncle? Niece? What do those matter? We just met recently, and the times we’ve seen each other are few. You care for someone like that? Let me ask — do you really want me to ‘stay alive’? What if someone else had to die for me? Would you still want me to live and take responsibility?”
”Wha!? That’s──”
”You can’t accept it, right? Simple. You don’t want me to live. You just don’t want me to die. As long as you can stop my death, you don’t care what I do after. Am I wrong?”
Not wanting someone’s life but refusing their death might sound the same, but it’s totally different.
Wishing someone’s happiness — “be healthy,” “do what you love” — only makes sense if they’re alive. That’s why people want you to stay alive.
But what if it’s someone you don’t care about? Can you truly wish a stranger’s happiness as much as your loved ones?
No. Most don’t care about a stranger.
So when that stranger is dying, they follow their conscience to not let them die — but don’t care what happens after.
Lewya was told: you don’t want my happiness or my life. You just want to avoid my death. That left her speechless.
”I… I…”
”Don’t make that face. It’s natural. Someone who sincerely prays for a stranger’s happiness isn’t normal. And you heard what I told Neil — blood ties mean nothing. In the end, we’re just ‘strangers with blood ties,’ so don’t worry.”
”But──”
”I refuse to live just to satisfy your conscience.”
”──!”
Golarf’s refusal was clear. Lewya had no words left.
She feared she couldn’t stop Golarf’s death, that there was nothing she could do.
”Thank you, Lewya. Because of you, I didn’t get bored waiting for rescue.”
”Rescue?”
”Yeah… my death god.”
Lewya suddenly understood something. Why, if Golarf wanted to die, was he still here, not ending it?
Lewya looked behind, and saw Melgis, sword in hand.
”Melgis! Why are you here?”
”You know why, Lewya. To kill me. She came to the frontier settlement for that.”
”That was a misunderstanding! We resolved that, right?”
”No. Nothing’s resolved. Even if those items were collected to remove threats, they’re in my hands — a madman’s hands. That hasn’t changed. The danger remains.”
”Hey! Wait, Melgis! Calm down, let’s talk──!”
Lewya stepped forward to stop Melgis, but a sword tip pressed at her neck. She couldn’t move forward.
”Outsiders, step back.”
Intimidated by Melgis’s piercing eyes, Lewya retreated and let Melgis take the lead.
When Melgis reached Golarf, Golarf looked down, like a condemned prisoner awaiting the blade.
”Sorry to keep you waiting, even with official work… just do it.”
”…I have a question.”
”What is it?”
”Do you remember the incident where Marquis Rustorl’s lord was caught in illegal drugs and assassinated?”
”Yeah… those stories happen often. I can’t remember who was who.”
”Even though you set a trap for Marquis Rustorl and had him dealt with?”
Golarf was silent for a moment.
”…I’m surprised. I thought you wouldn’t bother digging up old, finished business.”
Please bookmark this series and rate ☆☆☆☆☆ on here!
Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
Leave a Reply