Volume 1 Chapter 15 Shirogane Aqua, Sinking into Self-loathing
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
In this world, I have a little sister. Her name is Shirogane Lapis, going through the sensitive phase of second year middle school. She has beautiful platinum blonde hair and distinctive heterochromatic eyes, one emerald and one indigo. By the way, compared to our mother, Marin, her hair and eye colors are completely different.
”Well, because Lapis-chan is just like her other mama.”
Her other mama? Did she say something about having a different father? As I confusedly pondered, Mother lightly clapped her hand.
”Oh, right. Aqua-chan had amnesia, so I shouldn’t confuse you by saying you have a different father.”
Mother opened a book from the bookshelf and turned to a specific page, then held it out in front of me. I opened my eyes wide as I read the contents written there.
About same-s*x reproduction due to declining male birth rate.
I flipped through the pages to confirm the content. To summarize what was written in that section, it goes like this. In this world, there exists a technique of extracting eggs from females and using gene editing technology to create babies. Come to think of it, even in the world I came from, there was news about successful experiments on same-s*x reproduction in mice. I was astonished by the remarkable progress of science.
”Huh? So, then…”
I looked at Mother’s face.
”Yeah, Mom married two mama and gave birth to three of you! To be precise, it was me who gave birth to Aqua-chan, and Shitori-chan, and then other mama, who gave birth to Lapis-chan,” Mother explained, her eyes becoming teary.
It was a shocking revelation. I realized that I didn’t have a father in this world.
”I’m sorry, Aqua-chan…”
For some reason, Mother’s eyes welled up with tears.
”Aqua-chan, you wanted a real father, didn’t you?”
”No, that’s not true, Mother. I’m grateful that you gave birth to me, and I would never complain.”
Emotional and tearful, Mother jumped into my arms, calling my name. I held her, comforting her with gentle strokes on her back. At first, I didn’t notice due to her kimono, but as I hugged her, I realized her body was smaller than I had thought. Mother had been supporting our family with such a small body and enduring my selfishness in this world. Even though I wasn’t the one who caused this situation, I couldn’t help but feel remorseful.
”Thank you, Aqua-chan. I’m sorry for hugging you without thinking. It must have been uncomfortable.”
”No, it’s okay. I’ve never thought of you as gross or anything like that, Mother. It’s just a little embarrassing.”
To be honest, in my past life, I never had a parent-child relationship, so my knowledge of having a mother is limited to dramas and stories. However, ever since we first met at the hospital, Mother has always cared for me sincerely. She taught me about the unconditional love of a mother, and the kindness of a family. I didn’t know what a real family was until I met Mother. While I am grateful to her, I wonder how to complaint? But on the other hand, I am also confused about how to establish the right distance with my first mother. If I were a bit younger, maybe I could have been more openly affectionate, but I’m already 20 years old, a high school student now—I’m no longer at an age where I can easily rely on others.
”Ugh, ugh, Aqua-chan, you’re too good for a child.”
I thought I was comforting her, but it only made her cry more. At this point, I’m at a loss. I stay close to Mother, waiting for her tears to subside. After a while, when Mother calms down, she suddenly remembers something and looks at me with a startled expression.
”Oh, right! Aqua-chan, it’s about the explanation you received at the government facility you visited the other day… Can I tell you something?”
Mother quickly glanced around to make sure no one was listening, then stood up and retrieved a plain brown paper bag from a drawer. She gently handed me the bag. I wondered what could be inside. I opened the bag and checked its contents. It turned out to be a box of some sort. I took the box out of the bag and slowly read the writing on it.
Without a doubt, it’s a contraceptive. I quickly look at Mother’s face. She has a bright smile on her face.
”Aqua-chan, this is what boys need to avoid unwanted pregnancies. Do you know how to use it?”
I nod silently. Well, nodding was all I could do.
”I’m sorry. Actually, Mom wanted to teach you how to use it, but, well, Mother, um… I have no experience with men in that way.”
I freeze in shock. Well, considering that Mother used reproductive technology with a woman to conceive herself, maybe this is natural.
”Ugh, Mom is a virgin… It’s embarrassing for you too, Aqua-chan, right?”
”N-No, it’s not like that. I mean, um… with Mother’s beautiful body? I’m really happy.”
Mother almost starts crying again, but I don’t know what to say to comfort her. For now, I try to encourage her, saying that I’m not embarrassed, that I like her as she is now, and I do my best not to make Mother cry. I don’t know why, but I don’t want her to cry too much, considering all the hardships she must have gone through until now. That’s what I thought.
”Oh, I see. Aqua-chan is happy that Mom doesn’t belong to anyone and is such a spoiled child. I didn’t know that about side of you, hehe.”
I feel like it’s being interpreted in a wrong way, but oh well. It’s more painful for me when Mother cries and my heart gets all cloudy. I just nod in response.
”If… if it ever happens, and if Aqua-chan sees Mom in that way, it’s perfectly fine for Aqua-chan to do those things with mom or mom will help you. Really, it’s okay.”
I regret my casual nodding and freeze. It feels like Mother just said something outrageous. Is this really okay? No, there’s no way it could be.
”Oh, right, Aqua-chan may have forgotten because of amnesia, but it’s not uncommon for boys to have family members help them with such things or teach them about their first time.”
It’s so far removed from the common knowledge I know that I’m stunned.
”Of course, it’s fine if you have someone other than me as a partner. And it might be a little difficult with someone in their premenstrual phase, but Lapis-chan is already menstruating, and she has studied the knowledge at school, so it should be fine to ask her for help.”
I shake my head vigorously, trying to shake off the lewd image of Lapis that was starting to form in my mind. Lapis looks nothing like me, not even with her hair color and eye color. So, imagining that kind of thing felt really wrong. No, no, the real problem is imagining such things with a middle school girl in the first place. I start counting prime numbers in my head to regain my composure.
”Oh, um… But, um, I’m fine, so…”
I awkwardly put the condom box back into the paper bag and swiftly push the bag to the edge of the table with lightning speed. With that momentum, I make an excuse about having something to do and clumsily retreat to my room as if I were a robot. However, once something has entered my consciousness, it’s not easy to erase it. Moreover, even the sight of my family’s underwear casually placed in the laundry basket in the bathroom, along with Lapis’ school uniform, triggers intense and overwhelming sensations of intimacy and vulnerability. These experiences greatly affect my body, as it is consumed by powerful adolescent s*xual desires.
And that night, I was incredibly aroused, but I survived by repeatedly murmuring to myself like a spell that it would be a loss if I doing it with my hand when my family sleeps in my bed.
”U-um, I’m going shopping.”
The next day, after finishing breakfast, unable to endure any longer, I lied and left the house, immediately rushing to the government facility. This facility has a minimum usage limit of once a month, but there is no rule saying I can’t come more often. In fact, the government encourages people to come as often as they can if they want to. Now, I quickly complete the registration at the reception desk, and Miyuki-san, who seems to be on duty, comes to me right away.
”Shirogane-sama, I heard that you would be using our facility today. Did my previous explanation fall short, and do you have any questions regarding the use of the equipment?”
It seems that Miyuki-san is wondering if there was any mistake on her part. While they did mention that it’s allowed to use the facility multiple times a month, perhaps it’s unusual to come twice in such a short period of time? I nod, feeling apologetic towards Miyuki-san.
”Yes, um… The previous explanation was still a bit unclear.”
Because if I say that, Miyuki-san will help me again. I despise myself for stooping so low, but the moment I laid eyes on Miyuki-san’s seductive body, I had no other choice. Ah, if this side of me were to be known, Miyuki-san would surely hate me. However, Miyuki-san doesn’t look down on me with disdain or anything of the sort. She responds with her usual cool expression.
”I see. I apologize for that. Then, let me guide you to the same room as before.”
To overwrite the fact that I got aroused with my family, I ended up using Miyuki-san in front of me as material three times. Perhaps I went too far? Nevertheless, Miyuki-san didn’t show any displeasure and calmly carried out her milking duties as if it was administrative tasks. She truly is a professional. I thanked Miyuki-san multiple times for her assistance.
”Well, this is also part of my job…”
…That’s right. It’s just part of her job, I suppose, when I think from Miyuki-san’s perspective. I felt a bit disheartened when she said that, but it’s only natural. Seeing me slump down, Miyuki-san cleared her throat.
”Therefore… If Shirogane-sama doesn’t mind, I would like to continue assisting you directly as your exclusive assistant for milking duties in the future. Would that be acceptable?”
Miyuki-san handed me a schedule with her work days written on it. Additionally, she provided me with her private phone number and other contact methods. She mentioned that even on days when she’s not working, if I feel the need for milking, I can contact her, apparently. I feel sorry to ask for such favors, even if it’s part of her job. But I’m not the kind of man who would turn down an alluring proposition from someone like Miyuki-san.
”Y-Yes, please take care of me.”
Though it was embarrassing, I gathered my courage and made the request to Miyuki-san. She responded with a gentle smile directed at me.
”Understood. I look forward to working with you in the future.”
As I looked at Miyuki-san’s expression again, it was her usual cool and composed demeanor. Perhaps I was mistaken… No, it must be my imagination. At that moment, Miyuki-san did smile at me, even if it was just for a fleeting second. I choose to believe that it was indeed a smile.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
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