Volume 13 Chapter 34 Kohina Yukari, TOKYO SWEEPER
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
Today is the broadcast day of the drama “TOKYO SWEEPER,” which was postponed.
”It’s about time.”
Disguised, I head to the nearest movie theater.
This drama collaborates with theaters nationwide, so it’s shown simultaneously in movie theaters across the country when it airs.
As I get out of the taxi, I descend the stairs of an old building nestled between mixed-use buildings.
”I thought this theater closed down ages ago, but it’s still here.”
”Haha, and you, I thought you’d quit crying soon, but it seems like you’ve won some awards. The crybaby, Yu-ka-ri-chan.”
Taking off my hat and sunglasses, I turn my gaze back to the owner of this theater.
When I was in middle school and couldn’t make friends, I used to come to this theater often.
This theater is where I started dreaming of becoming an actress.
”Ha, you look like you’re about to kick the bucket any minute, but you don’t seem to be feeling down at all. If you can still flap your gums like that, I don’t need to prepare the condolence money just yet.”
”Hmph, I’m not as worn out as you’d like to think, kiddo. Take a look at this skin of mine. It’s got more bounce than ever. I look about 10 years younger, don’t I? Even the doctor mentioned how good my liver and kidneys are. I bet it’s all thanks to the great Aqua-sama. Heh heh.”
Huh! Is this old hag actually a fan of his? Talk about poor taste.
If she keeps being his fan, she’ll be “kicking the bucket” sooner rather than later.
I take out my smartphone to make the payment.
”We only take cash here.”
”You’re still as old-fashioned as ever. It’s about time you caught up with electronic money.”
”Heh heh, ever since those convenient cell phones came out, novels and movies have become boring as hell. That’s why the classics from the old days are still interesting, right? Even that award-winning movie of yours, there were no cell phones back then, were there?”
Ugh, talking with this old hag really annoys me.
Why do I have to let her lead the conversation?
I take out my wallet from my pocket.
”It’s nice to have convenient things in the world. But sometimes, things that are inconvenient become precious. So someday, a man will appear who will love even an inconvenient woman like you.”
I glare sharply at the old hag patting my head.
”Mind your own business!”
”Heh heh, I’ve been scolded by the great actress. This might make a good story in the afterlife.”
I try to pay the adult fee of 1200 yen by handing over 1000 yen first.
Then the old hag takes only 800 yen as the child’s fee and gives me back 200 yen as change.
”Wait, I’m already an adult, okay?”
”Oh, really? I guess so… I don’t think anything has grown except your chest since then, but maybe it’s just my imagination.”
Ugh!
Why is she always like this towards me since the old days!
When I was Akocchi, it was completely different!!
”Grrr! Sorry for not growing taller even 1 cm since back then!!”
”Haha, maybe the only thing not growing really is your height.”
Oh, whatever!
I cut off the conversation with the old hag and head towards the back screen.
”There’s no one here. I’m starting to worry that this movie theater might really go out of business.”
Of course, I sit right in the middle center.
I head towards my usual seat. And there was a previous customer sitting next to that seat.
”Akocchi… you’re here.”
”Yes. That’s why I reserved it just for us today.”
I see, that’s why there’s no one else here.
Wait a minute, in that case, old hag! Give back that 800 yen you took earlier!!
What do you mean, child’s fare is fine! You’re charging me double!! Ugh!
”Look, it’s starting.”
I guess I have no choice. I sit next to Akocchi and wait for the special drama to begin.
”Hey, do you remember? When we were in middle school, we watched a movie together like this.”
”Yes.”
I’ve never forgotten that day.
All the stuff with my parents, my grandma, school… how frustrated and sad I felt, how I cried and everything was a mess, but still, I decided to follow this path.
”I never thought back then that Akocchi would become the head of a talent agency.”
”Me neither. I never imagined I’d end up like this.”
While remembering the past, I stare at the screen in front of me.
[April 6, 1987, Monday, 7:00 PM]
The screen shows Shinjuku Station.
People crossing back and forth, cars racing by with their headlights on, and there, a lone billboard stands out.
The words on it are displayed on the screen.
[Help, there’s no way out!]
The scene changes, and a pitch-black van is racing through the narrow streets of Shinjuku.
The driving is reckless, as if the driver doesn’t care at all about the people around.
Those who notice the out-of-control van quickly move to the side to avoid danger.
’Aaaah!’
’Whoa!’
’That was close!’
The van with black tires skids across the asphalt, taking sharp turns with great force.
’Sorry, young boy.’
’Hehe, if you behave a little quieter, I won’t do anything, okay?’
’Don’t worry, I won’t do anything painful…hehe.’
The women wearing eye masks look down at the bound boy with a nasty smirk.
Playing the role of a boy with his hands tied behind his back and tape over his mouth is Toa-chan.
Tears well up in Toa-chan’s eyes, showing a look of despair. It’s a great performance.
Because Toa-chan has actually experienced hardship, his scene carries a sense of realism.
Actors are a special kind of people. They take all their experiences of pain, suffering, and frustration and turn them into performances. I’ve been doing the same.
’What’s wrong?’
’What happened?’
Among the people running in confusion, there is one person who does not try to escape but instead faces the approaching headlights of a van.
’There’s someone there!’
’Just run them over!’
The driver steps on the gas.
The person lit up by the headlights calmly aims a pistol with both hands and shoots with incredible accuracy towards the tires.
’Ahh!’
’Wow!’
With the tire bursting, the car loses control and flips over, crashing into a hedge.
The person who shot the gun approaches the van silently, opens the hatchback, and reaches out towards the boy.
’Are you okay?’
I still can’t see the person’s face. But just by hearing the voice, I know it’s Aqua.
Aqua, who plays the person who shot the gun, removes the duct tape covering Toa-chan’s mouth.
The character is wearing a sailor-style outfit with shorts and high socks. The costume designer might have imposed their own preferences on Toa-chan’s outfit because they were given the freedom to do so. Well, it’s cute and in a way, it makes sense because he could be kidnapped with this outfit.
’Um…who are you?’
’I was asked by your big sister to come and help you.’
Aqua hugs Toa-chan.
One of the women wearing a visor hat notices this.
’Wait!’
One of the women wearing a visor hat points a gun at them.
But before she can pull the trigger, Aqua’s bullet from his pistol knocks the woman’s gun away.
’!’
The woman groans in pain as she holds her hand.
Ignoring her, Aqua carries Toa-chan away from the van.
’Oh no!’
The van caught fire and exploded.
Aqua, with the explosion behind him, safely puts Toa-chan down.
’Kou-kun!’
’S… sister (Onee-chan)!’
A woman comes running… Manager Kirika Kotono hugs Toa-chan.
Because the child who was supposed to be there got sick, Kirika, the manager, had to step in for a small role at the last minute.
That kind of thing often happens on set.
’Thank you so much. Thank you!’
The sister played by Manager Kirika bows repeatedly to Aqua.
Now, to make it clear for the viewers, let’s go back a bit in time and enter a flashback.
’Please, just help my brother. Please!’
She owned a shop, and her only brother was Kou-kun played by Toa-chan.
Some bad guys targeted her brother and started interfering with the operation of the shop managed by the sister played by Manager Kirika, putting her in debt with loan sharks, all because they wanted to use Kou-kun as collateral for the debt.
The desperate big sister pleaded with Aqua to at least save her brother, Kou-kun.
However, before Aqua could arrive, they took matters into their own hands. Unable to resist their urges any longer, the women seized Kou-kun in a fit of passion.
’Um, what about the money…’
’If you mean the fee, I’ve already received it, right?’
At that moment, Aqua’s face appeared for the first time.
Seeing Aqua’s smile, Toa-chan and Kotono looked at each other and blinked.
’That smile you’re directing at Kou-kun.’
Ugh, I feel like I’m breaking out in hives.
But this guy… he’s seriously cool that it really makes me angry.
Especially since he lost his virginity, his acting has become incredibly sexy.
It’s like… a different kind of charm from women’s allure, more like a sense of reassurance or comfort. I feel like we can really sense that now.
’W-wait, please!’
Toa-chan, playing Kou-kun, called out to Aqua as he tried to leave the scene.
’Who are you…’
Aqua slowly turns around, pointing a gun at Kou-kun and the sister.
’My name is Saejima Ryo.’
As Ryo pulls the trigger, a loud bang is heard, and someone falls.
Kou-kun and the sister turn around to see a woman in a baseball cap trying to approach them from behind, but she’s shot in the shoulder and struggles in pain.
’Just an ordinary street cleaner.’
Ryo extends his hand to shoot the woman in the baseball cap again, who’s still trying to harm Kou-kun and the sister.
At the same time, the title of the show appears.
[TOKYO SWEEPER].
The “O” in the title cracks as if hit by a bullet, and the scene cuts to the next day.
Now, it’s a normal living room in an ordinary apartment.
The screen of a vintage TV, now deceased, zooms in on a familiar announcer.
Kaede, who appeared as a guest, is now reading the script of yesterday’s events as an announcer.
’And that wraps up yesterday’s news. Now, here’s an urgent news flash. Her Highness Princess Gina of the Republic of Stars, who is currently visiting Japan, will suddenly return home the day after tomorrow in the afternoon.’
Kaede’s acting is surprisingly… well, I guess letting her do her real job adds some realism to the show.
As I hear the announcer’s voice from the TV as background music, I sigh as I look at the request forms placed on the table.
[I was told I’d get divorced if I cheated on my partner, but I got caught. I have no other options, so please help.]
[I got caught embezzling company money. I have no other options. Please help!]
[I failed my exams three times. I have no other options. Please help!]
[My cat has been missing for a long time and I’m worried. I have no other options, so if you can, please help me find it.]
[I want to know more about this country. I have no other options, so could you please talk with me at the cafe tomorrow at noon?]
I have no other options. These are the words needed for the request.
By including these words, you can secretly make a request by posting on a specific bulletin board at Shinjuku Station.
’Hey! What’s this all about? We don’t have any decent requests today either!’
I slam my desk and stand up.
Hearing that sound, Ryo, played by Aqua, bursts out of the bathroom with a gun.
’An ambush!?’
’That can’t be true!’
As Ryo lowers the gun, his toned upper body, looking sexier than usual with water dripping, is shown in close-up.
Is that old hag okay? Seeing something like this might be too much stimulation and send her to heaven in an instant.
’They’re the troublemakers…’
’The real troublemakers are them! Cheating!? Embezzlement!? Failing exams!? Looking for a lost cat and needing someone to talk to? Who cares about that stuff!! We’re not handymen, we’re cleaners!! Ughhhhhh!’
Ryo approaches me and takes a photo from among them, showing a request for finding a cat.
’Well, there are days like this. I’m going to this place. Kaoru, go talk to someone.’
’Hmph, there’s no other choice.’
Machino Kaoru, that’s the name of the character I play.
I work as a cleaner with Ryo as my business partner, and we are also partners in private.
When Kaoru, the character I play, turns away, Ryo comes around behind her and puts his hands on her waist.
’Kaoru…’
’Ryo…’
Aqua and I look at each other through Kaoru and Ryo.
’So, let’s liven things up here.’
’Why do I have to liven things up with you so early in the morning?’
Kaoru hits Ryo on the head with a bamboo sword that was placed in the kitchen.
Looking closely at the bamboo sword, it is wrapped with an amulet that says “Banish Wordly Desires.”
’Ouch! What are you doing? Can’t you take a joke for once?’
’A joke? Yesterday you were shamelessly flirting with the client’s sister, so of course I have to reject you!’
’Ow’
Ryo looks embarrassed.
This guy, even though he’s good-looking, it’s annoying how his acting feels so forced.
It’ll be a good lesson for Tsuwabuki-san, who often plays the third-wheel character.
There are plenty of actresses who can play comedic roles easily, but there aren’t many actors like Aqua who can effortlessly blend comedic elements while still being handsome.
’Ugh, but I already apologized last night.’
Sulking, Ryo sits on the floor with his legs crossed and his head propped on his hand, and Kaoru sits on his back.
Even thinking back now, this scene is great. Having him under my thumb and making him into a chair is the best scene.
’Well, it can’t be helped. If you finish today’s request properly and come back, I’ll give you a hug.’
’Re-really, Kaoru!?’
’Whoa!’
Suddenly standing up, Ryo causes Kaoru to tumble forward.
’Hey! Don’t suddenly stand up when I’m using you as a chair!’
’No, more importantly, I’m asking if what you said earlier was true.’
Ryo put his hand over Kaoru’s hands with a determined look on his face.
Since he’s used to doing this, Aqua’s acting around here is perfect.
At first, Kaoru seemed absent-minded, but as her gaze lowered, her face turned red for a different reason.
’H-huh, huh…’
’Huh?’
A towel lying on the floor comes into view. This means that Ryo isn’t wearing anything around his waist right now.
Seeing Kaoru’s agitation, Ryo seems to have thought it was his chance to make a move and puts on an even more confident expression.
Kaoru, trembling, picks up a bamboo sword with “Banish Wordly Desires” written on it once again.
’Hurry up and put your clothes on, you shameless helperrrr!’
’Owwwwww!’
With Ryo’s shout, the scene transitions to the next one.
’Ugh, that Kaoru. She’s really going all out.’
Rubbing his bump on his head, Ryo heads towards where the client is waiting.
Seeing the back of a woman standing there, Ryo immediately speaks up.
’Are you the one who requested to find the cat?’
’Ah, yes.’
Oh…I’m starting to dislike this.
With just this simple act, she manages to show such an overwhelming presence on the other side of the screen.
Yukishiro Emily…she not only looks like a young Yukishiro Mikuni, but also has that same strong presence.
Just like that woman, Emily-chan probably didn’t have any struggling period, she probably had that high level of ability from the beginning.
No, maybe even wider than Yukishiro Mikuni, whose range is narrow. Yukishiro Emily’s acting range may be wider than mine or Useless Aqua’s, who are considered to have a wide range.
Of course, not only in terms of acting range, but Emily-chan is good at embodying the character and yet it feels natural. Yes, it’s as if she’s always playing a role, that of Yukishiro Emily…Oh! I see. That’s the key point that I’ve just realized.
If her true identity is RamenHagetoru, then she’s been acting as Yukishiro Emily for many decades. Even I wouldn’t have realized Emily-chan’s true character if it weren’t for that.
It’s convincing because she’s used to acting regularly. I agree with that.
’Wow!’
When Aqua… I mean, Ryo, saw Emily-chan, his expression changed.
Meanwhile, Emily-chan, who was called, looked apologetic.
’Um, sorry. Asking a cleaner to find a cat is not really appropriate, is it?’
’Young lady, that’s not true at all! From today, the cleaning service is closed, and I’m becoming a handyman service!’
I know it’s just acting, but it’s really irritating for some reason.
’Huh? Oh… I’m sorry about that.’
’No, no, I want to hear about the cat’s characteristics instead. Let’s find a calm place to talk. Ah! Maybe we can talk slowly at that place with the sign that says ‘Rest Area’!’
Ryo… no, Aqua grabs Emily-chan’s arm and tries to take her to a government-owned hotel where questionable things happen between men and women.
Emily-chan, quickly escape from that pervert! Just when I thought that, a shadow appeared out of nowhere, blocking their way.
’Hey! That guy over there, don’t take my big sister to a weird place!’
’Big sister!?’
I was instantly healed by Ayana-chan’s cuteness.
As always, today my Ayana-chan is the cutest in the world!
Ayana-chan plays Ueno Reina, who is the little sister of Ueno Sae played by Emily-chan.
’Huh? This little shrimp is Sae-san’s little sister?’
’Who’s the little shrimp here? You’re the one who looks sketchy, so what do you really do!?’
As expected of Rena, played by Ayana-chan, she really is amazing. She can see right through to Ryo’s true essence!!
’Ahem… Little sister, I mean, Reina-chan, big brother works in cleaning up the streets of Shinjuku. So he’s definitely not a suspicious person.’
’Hmm, even though you’re not suspicious, big brother tried to take my sister to a hotel.’
Reina, hands on hips, leans forward and glares at Ryo.
’N-no… haha…’
Ryo’s eyes wander.
’Uh, um, let’s focus on finding the lost kitten!’
Ah, he dodged the topic.
At this point, it’s not so much acting as it is just natural.
He’s not much different from his usual self.
As the scene changes, a sign for what looks like a café appears.
[Café Cat Mountain]
A quiet and sophisticated place.
Two girls wearing suspicious-looking coats were sitting there.
’I heard you wanted to talk?’
’Sorry. That was just an excuse… Actually, we came here with a request.’
The girls in coats glanced around nervously.
Inside the shop, there were only three staff members, and no other customers besides Kaoru.
’It’s okay. This shop is private, just for us.’
’Got it. In that case…’
The two girls took off their coats and revealed their true identities to Kaoru.
’I am Princess Gina of the Republic of Stars. And this is my maid, Rishe.’
Playing the role of Princess Gina is Natalia Rosenesta, a relative of Kanon-san who participated in the duet audition. And playing the role of maid Rishe is Kanon-san herself.
They must be aiming for something in between to make them look like real twins.
’Your Highness!? Wait, what!? Huh!?’
Kaoru shook her head back and forth, comparing the princess on the TV behind her with the princess in front of her many times.
’If you watch the news, you’ll understand. The day after tomorrow, I will return to the Republic of Stars. So until then, I want you to take my lady-in-waiting, Rishe, around this city in my place.’
’Y-yes…’
Well, by now even the most clueless viewers would have noticed that the real princess is actually the lady-in-waiting, Rishe.
In a time when there was no internet, not even widespread use of cell phones. Princess Gina swapped with her lady-in-waiting Rishe to learn about this country, and actually see firsthand the current situation and foster friendships.
’Yes, understood. I accept this task.’
In front of a nervous looking Kaoru facing an unexpected royal mission, a cup of warm coffee is placed.
’Oh, Hitomi-san.’
’Kaoru-san, are you alone today? Did you have a fight with Saejima-san by any chance?’
The camera zooms in on Kuga Reira, who plays the role of Aso Hitomi, a part-time café employee.
Standing next to her is Yukishiro Mikuni, who plays the role of Ichimonji Nozomi, another café employee.
Seriously, they both have such a strong presence, it’s kind of annoying.
’Heheh, Hitomi-chan, don’t bully Kaoru too much. She’s not pitiable.’
Honestly, even though this is a special drama, the casting is way beyond just luxurious; it’s like a festival. Maybe they took on this job so readily because they wanted to work with Aqua, but it’s still quite surprising.
Well…if it was a while ago, I wouldn’t have taken on this job, but sometimes it’s not so bad.
I won an acting award, so I should have some reward.
Plus, if there’s a chance to act with Aqua or Ayana-chan, I wouldn’t want to miss even just one. I don’t think I’ll have a long time to convey something to the two of them, especially regarding that person.
’Here, Your Highness and maid, please have some.’
’T-thank you.’
’Thank you.’
In the back, enjoying freshly brewed coffee, a man polishes glasses in the kitchen.
Bald with sunglasses. He’s played by Utsumi Hayato-san, the owner of this café.
I was so surprised when I found out he’s Kaede’s dad at Kaede’s wedding the other day.
When Director Hongou, who came to visit on Aqua’s recommendation, spotted him, she asked him to be an extra, saying he could just stand there. Times have really changed if he’s willing to do that.
I think she said he doesn’t even need a fee, just that she wants the café to be called Cat Mountain. I realized that there are plenty of unconventional men out there besides Aqua if you look around.
He has a striking appearance, and surprisingly, he plays his part with confidence, even though he’s just an extra, he has a presence.
’Well then, shall we go, Rishe-san?’
’Yes, please take care of me.’
The character I play, Kaoru, left the café with Kanon-san, who plays the role of Rishe.
Then the scene changes again.
’Hey, kitty!’
’Shiro! Where are you?’
The scene shows Ryo and Reina searching for a cat.
It seems that her big sister, Sae, had an urgent job to attend to, so she went home ahead of them.
The story alternates between Kaoru and Rishe strolling through the city in a relaxed manner, and Ryo and Reina comically searching for the cat.
’I found it!’
Reina points her finger at the cat.
Emily-chan is the name of this cat, apparently owned by someone named Emily, but it still has that annoying look on her face.
I’ll always remember the grudge over the salted mackerel I was planning to eat for lunch!!
’Brother, it seems Shiro can’t get down. What should we do?’
It appears that the cat climbed up to a high place and can’t come down.
’If that’s the case, leave it to me.’
Ryo skillfully climbs up to the high place.
’Here, don’t be afraid, come over here.’
Almost there to the cat, Ryo reaches out his hand.
However, the cat, instead of just jumping on Ryo’s arm, leaps right onto his face.
’Ouch!’
This causes Ryo to lose his balance and fall from a high place.
’Are you okay,big brother!?’
Worried, Reina runs to Ryo.
Ah, Ayana-chan is such a caring person. She’s so soothing.
’Ouch… I’m okay, really, but hey, look, I caught the cat.’
Reina reaches out her hand to help Ryo up.
With the cat still stuck to his face, Ryo grabs her hand and tries to stand up.
Squish.
That sound effect is perfect.
’Ah, ah, ahh…’
Reina’s face turns red and she trembles.
’Huh? This feeling… small but definitely…’
Ryo kneads what he’s holding a few times.
You totally know what you’re doing, don’t you?
The white cat stuck on his face jumps off and rubs her head on Reina’s pretty legs.
’It’s small but… what is it?’
Now that Ryo can see ahead, he understands the situation and shows a cool, determined face.
Hey, you, knowing you’re groping, how long are you going to keep your hands on her chest?
’It’s okay. Even if it’s small, it’ll grow if you grope it. Now, let me grope it directly…’
”Brother, you dirty! Stupid! Pervert! Indecent! Shameless!!”
’Ouch!’
Reina grabs Ryo’s arm and twists it down.
That’s it! Do it more!!
’Brother… no, Saejima Ryo! I’m arresting you for s*xual assault in the act!!’
’Re-Reina-chan, k-kids shouldn’t say things like that as a joke.’
’I’m not a kid!!’
Reina takes out her pocket and shows Ryo the police badge she had.
’No way!?’
’Mister, from now on, you’re coming to the station with Reina!!’
Ah! Even though it’s just a drama, I felt relieved when Aqua got caught.
That person really should get caught for something indecent at least once.
When I let him touch my chest, he spent 3 whole hours just playing with it! Now my n**ples are a bit sensitive because of that. Take responsibility for it!!
’Please reflect a little on that moment!!’
’N-No way! Reina-chan! Wait for me!’
The scene changes to show Ryo locked in a cell at the police station.
Hahaha! I came all the way to a movie theater with a big screen just to watch this!
I smirked and stared intently at the screen in front of me.
In this scene, Morikawa-san and Nyanko Gentlemen were filmed separately, so they didn’t actually meet during that time.
Here are the cast members:
- Saejima Ryo… Shirogane Aqua / a cleaner in Shinjuku
- Machino Kaoru… Kohina Yukari / Both Ryo’s partner in work and personal life
- Ueno Sae… Yukishiro Emily / a detective and big sister of Reina
- Ueno Reina… Tsukimachi Ayana / Reina’s little sister and a rookie police officer
- Aso Hitomi… Kuga Reira / a part-time employee at the Cat Mountain cafe
- Ichimonji Nozomi… Yukishiro Mikuni / an employee at the Cat Mountain cafe
- Onyudo/bald man… Utsumi Hayato-Nyankosuki / the owner of the Cat Mountain cafe
- National broadcaster announcer… Shirogane Kaede / special appearance
- Real Princess Gina/Fake Maid Rishe… Shirogane Kanon / special appearance
- Fake Princess Gina/Real Maid Liche… Natalia Rosenesta / special appearance
- Kou-kun who was abducted… Nekoyama Toa / special appearance
- Kou-kun’s big sister… Kirika Kotono / special appearance
- ? ? ?… Mayuzumi Shintaro / Special Appearance
- ? ? ?… Tenga Akira / Special Appearance
- ? ? ?… Sumeragi Kukuri / Special Appearance
- ? ? ?… Atori Ako / Special Appearance
- ? ? ?… Habu Chiyoko / Special Appearance
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.