Volume 13 Chapter 360 Chisato Claire, Shirogane Aqua Expedition Team꞉ Launch!
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
I’m genuinely worried about Tenga-senpai, who was rushed away in the ambulance, but things on this end are growing even more turbulent now that Aqua-sama has taken the helm of the expedition team.
As I gaze at Aqua-sama’s sharp, dignified profile on the television screen, a piercing throb begins to pulse in my stomach. Ow, ow, ow… I truly wish we could just navigate through this without any further drama…
While I’m agonizing over that, Director Hongou¹, who’s capturing the footage on-site, addresses Aqua-sama.
”Aqua-kun, it’s getting dangerous from here on, so I’ll descend into the well first to verify the safety,” Director Hongou said.
In response to this excellent proposal from Director Hongou, our beloved Aqua-sama immediately shakes his head.
”If Director Hongou gets injured, I won’t be able to look Tenga-senpai in the eye. It’s alright. Even in the unlikely event the old well collapses and buries me alive, I can just dig my way through the earth and escape on my own!” Aqua-sama said.
No way… seriously?
Is such a feat even possible for a normal human? I want to slap my own face for even entertaining the thought for a split second. Aqua-sama—the Evil God Aqua-sama—is a being who simply cannot be measured by the yardstick of human common sense.
”Besides…” Aqua-sama muttered.
Aqua-sama slowly closes in on the camera operated by Director Hongou. Ah, ah, ah, wait a moment! When you approach with such a breathtakingly handsome face, it feels as if I’m the one being cornered through the TV screen!
”If anything were to happen to you, Director Hongou, I’d be devastated. So please, entrust the camera to me,” Aqua-sama said.
”A-Aqua-kun…” Director Hongou replied.
Kuh! I clutch my side and gnash my teeth, desperately trying to withstand the intensity. Checking the Bulletin Board² on my nearby laptop, I see that several users have already tapped out, unable to endure such overwhelming coolness.
However, Director Hongou, the one actually standing in the line of fire, remains entirely unfazed even in this situation.
”But as the person filming, I have my pride. I will absolutely be the one to capture this,” the director said firmly.
Just as expected of Director Hongou. Sensing her ironclad resolve, Aqua-sama nods vigorously.
”…I understand. If that’s the case, I’ll descend first to ensure the interior is secure before you follow me,” he said.
Ultimately, it doesn’t change the fact that Aqua-sama is the first to go down. Pleas like ‘You’re a precious male, so please avoid danger’ or ‘Don’t overexert yourself’ simply hold no weight with him. Once Aqua-sama sets his mind on something, he sees it through. We can only follow in his wake.
Aqua-sama swiftly completes his preparations to descend into the ancient well.
”Well then, I’m off!” he said.
With a waist rope secured, Aqua-sama rappels into the old well with the velocity of a ranger or a specialized rescue operative. Um, I’m not an idol so I wouldn’t know, but do idols actually undergo that kind of rigorous training? Remarkable… ahaha…
Reaching the very bottom, Aqua-sama inspects the ground and walls.
”Ah, the floor is definitely muddy. But the walls appear structurally sound. Director Hongou! It’s safe to come down now!!” he shouted.
”U-Understood. I’m on my way!” Director Hongou replied.
With the filming equipment in hand, Director Hongou slowly descends. Meanwhile, those of us watching the broadcast are experiencing palpitations as Aqua-sama’s face gradually looms larger through the lens. When Director Hongou reaches the base, Aqua-sama catches her with both hands as if gently embracing her.
Kuh! I don’t give a damn about the buried treasure anymore—let’s just broadcast this on a loop forever! Because honestly, the ‘production value’ here is far superior to any hidden loot we probably won’t find anyway!!
”It’s more cramped inside than I anticipated. It really would be catastrophic if this cave-in occurred,” the director said.
Aqua-sama gently clasps Director Hongou’s hand and offers a reassuring, tender smile toward her—no, toward all of us in front of the TV via the camera.
”Please don’t worry. I will absolutely protect you,” he said.
The instant I witness that smile, the depths of my womb, which had been held in agonizing suspense until now, are suddenly thrust upward, and I experience a light climax. My expression instantly goes blank, and I silently applaud the television. I see, so this is the state they call ‘Sage Time.’
Still, as expected of the Evil God Aqua-sama. You’re out there effortlessly expanding your cult following again, aren’t you! Aqua!!
Even the seasoned Director Hongou apparently couldn’t withstand the assault, as her reaction is delayed for just a fraction of a second.
”U-um, thank you, Aqua-kun. Wait, look! There’s a lateral tunnel!!” she said.
As the camera pans, narration accompanies the eerie on-screen graphics.
[A mysterious side tunnel in the depths of the old well!? Have they finally uncovered the Tokumoto Treasure³!?]
You’re getting way ahead of yourselves!!
Still, Director Hongou is a consummate professional. She didn’t successfully film the entirety of Heaven’s Sword⁴ for nothing. She regained her composure in a heartbeat.
”And it appears there’s one on the opposite side as well,” Aqua-sama said.
”You’re right!!” the director replied.
As the camera sweeps, a slightly smaller aperture is visible on the opposite side. This offers a glimmer of hope.
”For the time being, why don’t we attempt to explore this larger one first?” Aqua-sama asked.
”Sounds like a plan. Let’s do that,” she replied.
For some reason, Aqua-sama takes the lead into the side tunnel. Naturally, one shouldn’t mention how perilous that is. If anything, the most dangerous entity in this world is Aqua-sama himself.
While the two are advancing, I check the Bulletin Board and spot a user named ‘Masturbating Hagetoru’ posting that they can’t concentrate on anything because they’re too preoccupied with Aqua-sama’s rear as he walks ahead. Truly a paragon of the Bulletin Board community. Lust before lucre, fetishes before fortune.
A few minutes after they begin traversing the tunnel, Aqua-sama, walking in front of the filming Director Hongou, abruptly halts.
”Aqua-kun, is something the matter?” Director Hongou asked.
”It’s no use. It’s a dead end beyond this point,” Aqua-sama replied.
Aqua-sama uses his helmet-mounted camera to display the obstructing wall. It’s a pity, but it seems there’s nothing here. The two rotate and retrace their steps.
During the return trip, Aqua-sama instinctively catches Director Hongou as she’s about to lose her footing.
”Ngh! Th… thank you, Aqua-kun,” she muttered.
”N-no, likewise. My apologies, even though it was just a reflex,” he replied.
I can only wonder what kind of expression Director Hongou is wearing after having her breasts squeezed, even if it was purely accidental. While the vast majority of viewers, myself included, are pondering that, the camera on Aqua-sama’s helmet perfectly captures Director Hongou’s crimson face.
As expected of the Berry-Berry staff. Absolutely no compromises in program production. This is what true professionalism looks like.
[Rare! A bashful Director Hongou!! * * *We’re airing this scene without telling her!!]
You really don’t need the text and narration for that!! And was the cut to Mr. Itoi and Mr. Ishizaka beaming in the studio truly necessary!? This is why everyone is so suspicious of you people!
”Heyyyyy! Did you find anythingyyyy?” a voice echoed.
”Nothing! It was a dead end!!” Aqua-sama shouted back.
Returning to the point of origin, Aqua-sama calls back to Kohina Yukari-san positioned above.
”Then let’s attempt the hole on the opposite side,” he suggested.
”Yeah,” she agreed.
Aqua-sama assumes the lead once more. Naturally, there’s no profound reason for it. Just like that famous shrimp cracker commercial, Aqua-sama simply can’t be stopped anymore.
”Director Hongou, please exercise caution. This side is extremely constricted,” Aqua-sama said.
”Understood,” she replied.
Unlike the previous passage, it’s quite small, so their progress isn’t very rapid. In the interim, I check the Bulletin Board and see ‘Masturbating Hagetoru’ posting, “It’s as tight as a maiden’s ‘Tashinami’ hole,” only to be lambasted by a user named ‘Maiden’s Tashinami.’ Go on, give him hell! Honestly, Emily-san deserves a cold shoulder from Kanon-san at least once as a form of penance.
”Kuh! It’s too narrow to proceed any further. And based on what the light reveals, it’s a dead end ahead as well,” Aqua-sama said.
Ahhh, after all that exertion to advance, it’s just another dead end… how frustrating. Even if the initial expectations were modest, facts remain facts. However, Aqua-sama seems to detect something and squints into the beam of his light.
”Ah! But there’s something positioned at the dead end!” he exclaimed.
”Eh!?” the director asked.
The TV footage transitions from Director Hongou’s camera to the unit on Aqua-sama’s helmet. Ah, ah, ah! There’s something resembling a Jizo statue resting at the dead end! Cue the mandatory ominous narration and on-screen graphics.
[A mysterious Jizo Bodhisattva discovered in the dark depths of the old well!!]
Ugh… I’m suddenly starting to feel a chill. A shiver runs down my spine.
[Investigating the enigma of the Jizo Bodhisattva!!]
* * *
Returning to the surface, Aqua-sama reviews the footage they captured with the group. Toa-chan is so adorable, peeking at the video while shielding herself behind Aqua-sama’s back as if she’s terrified to look. In stark contrast, Kohina Yukari-san, who is using Aqua-sama as a human shield from the other side while watching the screen, scores 0 points for femininity.
”Hmm, I wonder what this could be. Ah, I’ll go report this to Tenga-senpai for a moment,” Aqua-sama said.
Aqua-sama initiates a call to Tenga-senpai. Ah, so he didn’t forget about Tenga-senpai after all…
”Tenga-senpai, it’s Aqua. How is your injury holding up?” he asked.
”It appears I sprained my ankle when I twisted it. But don’t you worry! I’ll absolutely make it in time for the live performance!!” Tenga-senpai replied.
Just as expected of Tenga-senpai. Scanning social media trends, [Hang in there, Tenga-senpai!!] was already climbing the ranks.
”So, junior, how was the exploration of the old well? Was there a treasure chest!?” Tenga-senpai asked.
”No, there was no treasure chest, but we found an ancient Jizo statue placed there,” Aqua-sama replied.
”Hmm… perhaps it’s a Dousojin⁵, a guardian deity of that region. You might uncover something if you inquire with the locals,” Tenga-senpai suggested.
Once more, the eerie graphics and narration materialize.
[A Dousojin!?]
No, you seriously don’t need text for that!! You people overlay narration and graphics on the most mundane details!!
”Understood. Then I’ll try questioning the neighbors!” Aqua-sama said.
”Umu! I’m relying on you, junior!!” Tenga-senpai replied.
Aqua-kun terminates the call and relates Tenga-senpai’s advice to the others. Subsequently, Toa-chan and Mayuzumi-kun set out to locate nearby residents to investigate, armed with print-outs of the images.
Before long, a silhouette comes into focus ahead of them.
[First local discovered!?]
No, no, no! You’re trying to make it seem like we’re in the heart of some untamed frontier with that text and narration, but they’re just ordinary Japanese citizens, okay!? And enough with that text already!!
”Um, excuse me. Do you have a moment?” Toa-chan asked.
”T-Toa-chan!? And Mayuzumi-kun too!?” the woman replied.
The young woman they approached looks stunned. Yeah, if you were addressed while doing farm work, you’d be startled too. The woman looks down at the photograph they provided.
”Ah, I’ve heard from my great-grandmother that the well water nearly failed in the past, and this was commissioned at that time. My mother and grandmother might be able to provide a more comprehensive explanation. Please, come this way if you like,” the woman said.
I see, so that’s the reason for the Jizo statue. The two are ushered to the woman’s residence and listen to accounts of the past and the historical context while sipping tea on the veranda. Thanks to that effort, the mystery is entirely resolved, but it proves to be unrelated to the treasure.
”Thank you for the insightful story!” Toa-chan said.
”Um, this… if you’d like…” Mayuzumi-kun muttered.
Mayuzumi-kun retrieves a packet containing white powder from his bag and offers it to the woman. W-wait, Mayuzumi-kun, is that alright!? It’s not something illicit, is it!?
”It’s salt from when everyone participated in the salt-making experience in BERYL Village in Ishikawa Prefecture. My apologies, it would have been better if I had some confectioneries or something, but when I searched the Berry-Berry van, this was all I could find…” he explained.
”No, this is more than sufficient! Thank you so much!!” she replied.
Mayuzumi-kun, that’s significantly more valuable than some generic souvenir! In fact, I believe that salt the four of you produced with your own sweat and labor is far more precious than the 300 billion yen Tokumoto treasure we’re currently pursuing. Seriously, if you listed salt made from Aqua-sama’s sweat on an auction site, you could easily collect about 3000 trillion yen. Yes, because there are myriad deviants in this world like Emily-san who I can’t even begin to compete with.
”So, it appears this old well has no connection to the buried treasure,” Mayuzumi-kun said.
The staff members who heard the summary from Mayuzumi-kun and Toa-chan slump their shoulders in disappointment. However, a call from Emily-san arrives for the disheartened expedition team.
”Aqua-sama, it’s Emily! I’ve deciphered the cryptographic message on the scroll!!” she shouted.
”W-What did you say!?” Aqua-sama exclaimed.
What!? You cracked the code on that scroll!? Aqua-sama immediately activates the speakerphone.
”Yes! According to Professor Mizuno’s analysis, the mountain indicated on that map wasn’t Mount Akagi, it was Mount Haruna! Based on that, I had Kanon and the others search for the map, and we found a promising location on Mount Haruna!!” Emily-san said.
Then what was the point of all that farce until now!! Tenga-senpai even sustained an injury despite having a singing competition live show on the horizon!!
”Excellent! In that case, we’re bound for Mount Haruna!!” Kohina Yukari-san shouted.
”Ohhh!!” everyone cheered.
At Kohina Yukari-san’s signal, it’s settled that the entire group will proceed to Mount Haruna.
”But prior to that, let’s summon a monk,” she added.
Kohina Yukari-san instructs the staff to fetch a priest from a nearby shrine to perform an exorcism on the old well, while also requesting a nun from a nearby temple to pray for those who might have perished during the water shortage. Um… pardon me. I’m sorry while everyone is being solemn, but those two are actually followers of the Holy Aqua-ism cult… My apologies. Even if it has no actual efficacy, our organization is absolutely not involved!!
* * *
Everyone crowds into the van and departs for the location specified on the map.
[Shirogane Aqua Expedition! Venturing into the deeper reaches of Gunmar⁶, the territory unexplored by civilization!!]
The Berry-Berry staff should just be reprimanded by every single person in Gunma Prefecture!! …was my initial thought. But inexplicably, the residents of Gunma are celebrating on social media. I don’t comprehend it at all. Gunma is a wonderful place. After all, I with my delicate stomach visit Shima Onsen in Gunma once a month!!
[The rumored Gunmar Prefectural Office discovered on social media!? * * *Officially endorsed by the Governor of Gunma!!]
No matter how you look at it, those are clearly the Yaze Ruins in Minakami Town, Gunma!! I’ve seen them myself on my way to Kawago Onsen!! I’ve visited several times since it was recommended by ‘Bath-aneki’ on the Bulletin Board; it’s excellent for neuralgia, and Gunma really is a fantastic region with an abundance of hot springs. I wonder if this program will ever be canceled… I mean, what does ‘officially endorsed by the governor’ even imply!? Browsing social media, the Governor of Gunma seemed delighted, remarking they’d generate a fortune from tourism at the start of the year. I truly don’t get it.
”Well, we’ve arrived at Mount Haruna! It seems we can’t proceed any further by vehicle, so let’s continue on foot!” Aqua-sama said.
”Hold on! You, consider your own safety for once!! Look, I’ll take the lead here,” Kohina Yukari-san said.
As per usual, Aqua-sama and Kohina Yukari-san both surge forward, vying to be first. Naturally, the level-headed Toa-chan and Mayuzumi-kun slowly follow the two who are advancing while bickering, monitoring the surroundings. Perhaps they should just focus the cameras on this pair the entire time.
While I’m pondering that, a scream erupts from Kohina Yukari-san up ahead.
”Aqua-kun!? Yukari-san!? Are you both alright!?” Director Hongou shouted.
A frantic Director Hongou overtakes the two in front. And there…
[Giant Serpent!!]
I can clearly see that without the redundant text and narration every single time!! Aqua-sama, who seized the massive snake with his bare hands, releases it back into the mountain after verifying it’s non-venomous. Why are you so completely undisturbed, Aqua-sama?
”Ah, look. Kohina-senpai!! There’s an opening over there!!” Aqua-sama said.
Director Hongou’s camera is trained in the direction Aqua-sama is indicating.
[A Magnificent Cavern Discovered!!]
Honestly, what on earth is a ‘magnificent cavern’!? And you certainly don’t need that unnecessarily glittering screen effect either…
”What a magnificent opening… there’s no question it’s here. I have a premonition,” Mr. Itoi remarked in the studio with a sharp, focused expression.
”It’s remarkably large. It looks like a person could easily traverse it, but what’s our move, everyone?” Director Hongou asked.
In his usual fashion, Aqua-sama investigates the interior of the hole a step ahead of everyone else. Aqua-sama, please recognize your own vital importance for once!!
”For the time being, let’s proceed as far as we can. If it appears impossible, we’ll withdraw,” he said.
”Yeah, I believe that’s a sound plan,” Mayuzumi-kun agreed.
”Yeah, I’m eager to explore the interior as well!” Mayuzumi-kun added.
Mayuzumi-kun’s eyes are gleaming. Come to think of it, Mayuzumi-kun truly relishes this sort of thing, just like when he visited the theme park.
”Then it’s decided. Everyone, follow me!!” Aqua-sama said.
Aqua-kun casually takes the lead and advances. Uwah, it’s not a precipice, but the interior of the cavern is a gentle incline, so climbing up and down appears to be strenuous work. Aqua-sama guides the group deeper into the hole using ropes and pitons. However, what lay beyond was a subterranean river.
”Let’s deploy the inflatable boat,” a staff member said.
Deciding it was too hazardous beyond this point, one of the staff members boards an inflatable boat with a rope attached to scout ahead. But then, a mishap occurred. Did a puncture occur while they were transporting the boat? The inflatable boat with the hole capsizes, and the staff member within is tossed into the river.
”Whoaaa! Leave it to me!!” Aqua-sama shouted.
Aqua-sama plunges into the river and returns carrying the staff member. See? You should just entrust everything to Aqua-sama rather than an inflatable boat. I talk back to the television with a mind that has entirely ceased functioning.
”Kohina-senpai, I’m just going to continue like this! I spotted what appears to be a side tunnel when I dove just now!!” Aqua-sama shouted.
”Wait, Aqua! Useless Aqua! I said wait!!” Kohina Yukari-san screamed.
Aqua-sama vanished into the water before Kohina Yukari-san could intercept him. As expected of Aqua-sama. The turnaround time from decision to action is unnervingly rapid.
”Aqua—! Hey! Hey, I said! Can you hear me—!?” Kohina Yukari-san called out.
Aqua-sama doesn’t resurface even after five minutes. A distressed Kohina Yukari-san calls out toward the water’s surface repeatedly. But more than ten minutes elapse with no response.
”Wait, don’t you have an oxygen tank or something!? I’m going in to retrieve him myself!!” she shouted.
”Please wait. We’ll have it ready immediately!!” a staff member replied.
Just as Kohina-senpai placed her hand on her outer garment to shed her expedition gear, Aqua-sama’s head broke the surface of the water.
”Ah! Kohina-senpai, are you by any chance capturing a fan-service scene!? Please save that for when I’m around!!” he teased.
”Why on earth would I be filming a fan-service scene at a time like this! You’re truly an imbecile, aren’t you!! Besides, I’m the only one who’d have any demand for my fan-service anyway!!” she retorted.
Kohina Yukari-san, do you realize that being in demand by Aqua-sama is the ultimate status symbol? As I anticipated, glancing at social media, Kohina Yukari-san’s account was engulfed in flames within seconds. This account is perpetually on fire, isn’t it…
”So, did you discover anything?” she asked.
”I’ll elaborate on that after we return,” he replied.
Partially because they can’t advance any further, everyone retraces their path. In the end, was there actually any treasure? I’m curious about the other channels, but I’m equally invested in this result and simply can’t bring myself to change the channel.
”So, please examine the footage I captured,” Aqua-sama said.
The footage transitions to the video Aqua-sama recorded.
[A magnificent lateral tunnel inside the magnificent cavern!!]
Seriously, enough with this ‘magnificent hole’ obsession!! Scanning the Bulletin Board, ‘Masturbating Hagetoru’ was posting something nonsensical like, [This limestone cave resembles a ceiling of herring roe]. This is the first time in my existence I’ve felt like I lost so much ground just by looking at the Bulletin Board. After navigating through the submerged side tunnel, Aqua-sama surfaced, and deep within stood a mysterious small shrine. Hieee—! Wait. Is this truly a place where it’s safe to tread!? A fragment of the Evil God Aqua-sama isn’t sealed here, is it!?
”For the time being, I suppose I’ll offer a prayer,” Aqua-sama muttered.
Aqua-sama joins his hands and prays at the shrine, then dives back into the water and returns the way he came. Subsequently, the footage reverts to Aqua-sama and the others on the surface.
”So, I concluded it would be perilous to proceed any further due to the risk of a curse, so I withdrew,” he explained.
”That was the correct decision! That’s definitely a place you shouldn’t set foot in,” Kohina Yukari-san agreed.
* * *
Following that, all the expedition members and staff inquire around the vicinity. Hmm, was the treasure concealed there after all? As it began to grow dark outside, Aqua-sama and his group departed from the site and reunited with Emily-san and the others. Ah, the injured Tenga-senpai has returned as well! Seeing that provided a modicum of relief.
”Well, so, we questioned the locals and received assistance from Professor Mizuno and his colleagues. Apparently, Mount Haruna has experienced eruptions in the past, and the current prevailing theory is that the shrine was constructed to pacify the mountain. Regrettably, it seems it had no connection to the buried treasure. According to Professor Mizuno, who analyzed the shrine, the era of its construction differs based on its architecture,” they explained.
I see, so that was the resolution. Then, footage of everyone undergoing a second exorcism as they departed Mount Haruna was broadcast. Also, that spirit medium Kohina Yukari-san labeled as suspicious is actually one of our devoted followers. My apologies.
”So, unfortunately, it proved to be a bust this time, but I still have faith in the potential of this scroll! So, next time I will absolutely discover the Tokumoto treasure!! You’re all with me, right!?” Aqua-sama shouted.
”Ohhh!!” everyone roared, thrusting their fists into the air.
Why are everyone’s eyes gleaming so intensely over buried treasure… If you simply extracted a small amount of the Evil God Aqua-sama’s seed right there, you could generate 300 billion yen in an instant.
”Hah, I’m exhausted…” I sighed.
Ow, ow, I press my stomach, which is aching from the psychological strain, and feel completely drained. I must depart for Gunmar as soon as the year commences. The hidden hot springs of Gunmar are calling to me!! And so, the inaugural Tokumoto Buried Treasure Excavation Special drew to a close. Wait, in the end, nothing was found and it just left me with a stomach ache!! Honestly!!
—
Summary:
Aqua leads the expedition team into an ancient well and Mount Haruna based on a mysterious treasure map. Despite discovering cryptic lateral tunnels and a Jizo statue, they learn the sites are linked to local folklore and drought rituals rather than gold. The team remains undeterred and vows to continue the hunt for the Tokumoto treasure. Claire suffers from relentless stomach pains and physical arousal while watching the broadcast.
—
Character Insight:
Aqua’s leadership is defined by a reckless sense of self-sacrifice and an instinctive ‘act-first’ mentality that both inspires and unnerves his team. Claire’s internal monologue reveals her extreme devotion to Aqua, which she frames through a quasi-religious perspective, while her physical reactions imply a deep-seated idol-worship fixation that has become physiological.
—
Behind the Scene:
The author leans into the ‘Gunmar’ (グンマー) internet meme, which satirizes Gunma Prefecture as a wild, unexplored frontier. The program ‘Berry-Berry’ mimics high-energy Japanese variety shows, utilizing hyperbolic editing and subtitles to heighten the drama of the treasure hunt.
—
T/L:
Please bookmark this series and rate ☆☆☆☆☆ on here!
Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
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