Volume 13 Chapter 390 Saint Emily, Sister Mussolini
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
Today was the day of the regular status report for the Holy Order of Aqua¹. I couldn’t exactly dump the entire burden on Claire’s shoulders, so I was expected to attend the major briefings. Still, if I went in alone, my “Saintly” facade would probably crack within minutes. That’s why I decided to call in a favor from my most dependable partner-in-crime.
”Hey, Tashinami… I’m a total wreck doing this by myself. Come with me, please?”
”I suppose I can,” Kanon replied.
”Don’t be like that, come on-wait, really?! Did you just say yes?!” I shouted. “I’ve got your word now! No take-backs! I’m holding you to this!”
”Things have finally settled down since the birth,” Kanon said, sighing. “As Aqua’s wife, I need to keep a close eye on this lunatic cult to make sure they don’t jump the rails. Anyway, Emily, do you have a spare habit for me?”
”If that’s all you need, I’m your girl!” I said.
I yanked a spare habit out of the closet and tossed it to her.
”Wait, what the hell is this?!” Kanon yelled. “Why are the sides missing?! It’s just held together by strings! You can see my bra and panties through the gaps!”
”It’s dai-jobu. Just don’t wear any underwear. Problem solved.”
Kanon’s cheeks flushed a deep crimson as she stared into the mirror, pressing her hands over her chest.
”This is beyond embarrassing! You can see the entire curve of my breasts from the side! And if I move… the fabric just rubs right against my n**ipss… ngh. Plus, without anything underneath, my rear is completely exposed if I lean forward. If the hem wedgies my… ‘precious place,’ everyone will see exactly how I’m built!”
”That’s exactly why I’m working so hard over here to make sure that doesn’t happen!” I barked. “One slip-up and I’m getting busted for public indecency! Do you finally get my struggle? Just wearing this thing is enough to make anyone’s heart race.”
Kanon turned to me, her eyes narrowing with icy judgment. Usually, this was the part where a friend would empathize and offer a comforting hug. That was not what happened.
”I’m staring because I know you, Emily,” Kanon muttered. “You’re the one who picked this specific habit out, aren’t you?”
I let out a long, low whistle and looked at the ceiling. I am Yukishiro Emily, also known by my private handle, Scumbag-Hage! I am a woman who forgets inconvenient facts the moment they become a problem. As we were bickering, the sound of hurried footsteps echoed in the hall.
”Hey, Kanon! You left the door open-!”
A lecherous chuckle escaped me. All according to plan! Through the gap I had “accidentally” left ajar, Aqua-sama appeared.
”Kanon?! What in the world is that… incredibly suggestive habit?!” Aqua asked, his eyes wide.
He burst into the room, marched straight to Kanon, and grabbed her hands. He flashed a smile so radiant it could only be described as angelic.
”Kanon… what kind of decadent religion uses a uniform like that? It has to be called the ‘Sect of Infinite Lust’ or something, right? Please! Let me join! Sign me up right now!”
Kanon and I exchanged a long, weary look. There was no way we could tell him that this “lunatic religion” was actually a cult founded by obsessed fanatics who worshiped him.
”Hm? Wait a second,” Aqua said, pausing. “That one Sister with the blindfold was wearing something similar. Does that mean it’s the Stars Orthodox Church? Alright, I’m going to go find Claire. See you later, Kanon! Emily!”
With that, Aqua-sama vanished. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. Phew. Managed to dodge that bullet. Claire, I’m leaving the rest to you! I gave a sharp salute to the ceiling and then handed Tashinami a perfectly normal, modest habit.
”Seriously! If you had the normal ones Claire wears, you should have just said so!” Tashinami huffed.
She quickly swapped into the regular habit. Sorry, Tashinami… the only reason I didn’t give you that one first was because I was looking out for you. The habit Claire left behind was still stained from her own private… self-pleasure sessions. No, never mind. That secret stays between me and the floorboards forever.
”Oh, and make sure you put on a mask,” I added.
In the Holy Order of Aqua, everyone except the public-facing missionaries keeps their faces hidden. Identity leaks are a death sentence in this business. Among the executives, the only one who shows her face is Powder Maniac. The rest of us have our “looks”: I’ve got my blindfold, Claire has her Hannya mask, Kukuri has her fox mask, and Grandma Mary has her opera mask. The list goes on-ninja masks, gas masks, tactical goggles. The only ones I haven’t met are the elusive Koyomi and the Duo.
”Fine. I’ll go with this,” Kanon said.
She pulled out a Heaven’s Sword² mask she’d bought at a summer festival. I gnashed my teeth in pure envy. I wanted the protagonist mask! As I sat there wallowing in regret, she checked the wall clock.
”Are we actually on time for this meeting?” she asked.
”Yeah! The Order’s car is waiting behind the Shirogane Kingdom³ parking garage. We’re golden!”
With the help of the Saint Guard maids, we moved stealthily through the palace and slipped into the car, heading straight for the headquarters.
”Anyway, for today, you’re my assistant,” I said. “Your name is Sister Mussolini (shorthand for “dictator / strict boss”).”
”Absolutely not. I hate it,” she replied.
”How about Sister Mega-Lewd?”
Kanon puffed out her cheeks in annoyance. “The name doesn’t matter. We’re here.”
We stepped out of the car and into the sanctuary. The air inside was thick and heavy, saturated with the musky, heady scent of a thousand women in heat.
”Good morning, Saint Emily. Glory to Aqua!”
”Another blessed day, isn’t it? Glory to Aqua!”
The believers greeted me with bright, vacant smiles. It was still hard to believe that all these sweet, normal girls were totally brainwashed by a batshit-crazy cult. But the moment they saw Kanon behind me, their smiles vanished.
”Saint Emily! Who is this delinquent?!” one screamed.
”To wear the mask of the Great Sword God… this is the height of sacrilege!”
”Dammit! I wanted to be the Heaven’s Sword!” another wailed.
”Knock it off!” a senior Sister barked. “That’s why the Driver mask⁴ was banned in the first place!”
I felt Kanon’s glare burning into the back of my head. Sorry! I’m just a figurehead! I didn’t know the mask rules!
”Uh, well… she’s a special case,” I stammered.
”Even for you, Saint Emily, letting a non-executive wear that mask is too much!”
The believers pressed in, their massive chests heaving with indignation. I had to fake it until I made it, just like Aqua-sama does.
”Enough! She’s special, and I already got the green light from the upper management!”
”Oh… really?” the crowd murmured, finally backing off.
That was a close one. Life really is a tightrope.
”I’m watching you,” Kanon whispered.
”Hey, what’s the deal? You’ve been staring at me since we got here,” I whispered back. “If you look at me that intensely, you’re going to make me turn on, you know? Heh.”
”Hieee!”
I let out a pathetic squeal as I realized we weren’t alone. I spun around to see a Sister in a gothic-lolita habit and a fox mask. It was Sumeragi Kukuri, and she was wearing a very wicked smirk.
”Hmm, I see how it is,” Kukuri said, snapping her fan shut.
”Um, Servant Kukuri, did you really give permission?” a nearby Sister asked.
”That’s right,” Kukuri replied, her shoulders shaking with silent laughter. “This person is a special guest-on the same level as us executives, and right alongside our dear Saint.”
”Higher than an executive?!” the crowd gasped.
”Hey, hold up!” I hissed. Being “on the same level as the Saint” in this church basically meant you were at the bottom of the food chain.
”Our apologies!” the Sisters cried, bowing deeply. “Forgive us for overstepping!”
”It’s fine,” Kukuri said, her eyes glinting behind her mask. “Being vigilant is part of the job. After all… we have plenty of secrets here that can’t be leaked, don’t we, Emily?”
She shot a look my way. I expertly parried it by staring off at a distant wall.
”So, stay sharp,” Kukuri commanded.
”Yes, Servant!!” the Sisters shouted before scurrying off.
I turned to Kukuri. “Hey, you want to take over as Saint for me? I’m ready to retire for maternity leave anyway!”
”Saints get maternity leave, Emily. You’re not going anywhere,” Kukuri replied ssu.
My shoulders slumped in defeat.
”So,” Kukuri purred, stepping closer. “I wonder what kind of ‘interesting things’ our Saint is doing behind my back?”
”U-uh, well, you see…”
Seeing me standing there, babbling and looking utterly unreliable, Kukuri’s face shifts into a look of slight exasperation. Kanon, unable to watch the train wreck any longer, tosses me a lifeline.
”I’m the one who insisted on coming. I mean, it’d be a problem if someone did something… strange to you again in a place I can’t keep an eye on, wouldn’t it? At the very least, I have the right to be here for that.”
”Hmph. You’ve got a point there. Fine, I’ll let it slide this time. Though I’m sure Saint-sama probably just came crawling to you in tears anyway.”
I’ve been totally exposeddddddddddddddddddddddddddd!
You! If you knew everything from the jump, why’d you bother making me sweat for it?!
”Alright, you two. If you hang around here, the other Sisters are going to start pestering you again. Let’s go before that happens.”
”Y-Yessir!”
Kanon and I follow the Servant toward the meeting hall.
Wait, in this lineup, doesn’t Kukuri look way more like the boss? Seriously, maybe we should just have her play the Saint after all… no, never mind.
The second Kukuri’s cold gaze pierces my soul, I shut my trap.
I am Emily Yukishiro—the pervert who knows how to read the room!!
”Oh my, you’re late. Both of you.”
Geh! Grandma Mary was already waiting in the conference room. She catches her granddaughter’s eye and smirks.
This old hag… she knows everything. You don’t get called the “Star Reader”⁵ without having a terrifyingly sharp intuition.
”Today’s meeting looks like it’s going to be a hoot.”
Grandma Mary grins as she takes her seat. I scurry to my place, trying my best to look like a complete nobody. Kanon takes her position standing diagonally behind me.
Hey, Kanon. It’s not too late. You want to swap? I’ll give up being the ‘Saint’ and become a ‘Service-Woman’ instead. I’ll go scrub the dried-up believer-squirt off the toilet bowls or something! Anything but this!!
As I’m spiraling into these pathetic thoughts, the conference room doors slam open.
”Haa… haa… haa… E-Emily-sama?”
”Oof.”
C-Claire—? You okay there, buddy?
Claire looks like she’s about to sprout a face scarier than a literal demon mask as she slowly stalks toward me.
”W-What’s the matter, Sister Claire?”
”What’s the matter?! Everything is the matter! Suddenly Aqua-sama shows up saying he wants to join the Stars Orthodox Church! And when I dig deeper, he says the ‘Saint’ is the reason! I can’t exactly tell him, ‘Actually, the Stars Orthodox Church was crushed by a religion with your name on it and barely exists anymore!’ I can’t! Ugh! It was a total nightmare!!”
Sorry, Claire. We were kind of hitting our limit back then, too.
Claire finally notices Kanon standing behind me. She tilts her head, and after a few seconds of processing, she turns deathly pale.
”W-Wait, Saint-sama?! Why is a Sister who isn’t even an Executive here?”
”A lot of stuff happened. I decided she’s participating today.”
I pull out that “serious/cool” face that Aqua-sama uses whenever he’s in a pinch. Just like Chinsuki uses brute force to get his way, we Yukishiro have to use our “Face Power” effectively.
”Ow, owowow… fine. Whatever. If something goes wrong, don’t come crying to me…”
Claire clutches her stomach and slowly takes her seat on my front right. In these Executive Meetings, the seating goes: No. 1 Claire at the front right, No. 2 Grandma Mary at the front left. Behind them, No. 3 is back-right, and No. 4 is back-left.
Uh, let’s see… the Duo is absent today, and from the Pipe branch, we have Sabato Koyomi-san⁶…
”Hello-hello~! You called, I flew, and—Ta-da! It’s everyone’s favorite Mikoto-chan-o~!”
Mikoto~~!! While I’m sitting here on a bed of needles, you’re my only source of healing!!
Rin is supposed to be on my side, but she hates meetings so she’s been erasing her presence this whole time. And Rinon! I know you’re using those goggles to hide the fact that you’re fast asleep because you hate meetings too! I see you!!
Maybe I should just sleep too…
The moment I think that, Kanon hits me with a “judging you” look from behind.
Whoa, Tashinami-san. How do you read my mind so perfectly? Is it because I’m simple, just like Aqua-sama? Hehe, stop it, you’re making me blush. Wait, you’re saying my ‘idiot’ traits are also just like him?! Phew, sorry Tashinami. I guess I just have too much in common with the Great Aqua-sama!
”Well then, let’s begin the regular report meeting.”
the Executive Sister acting as the facilitator flips through her documents.
”First, a report from the Shogun, one of our Executive ‘Chijo.’⁷ Please look at the monitor.”
The infamous undersea coal mine appears on the screen. It’s a massive, inescapable pipe built right in the heart of the ocean. I’ve heard that criminals sent to “The Mines” spend their days and nights digging through the seabed. It’s a legendary, terrifying place—once you go in, you never come out.
”As you’re all aware, the Shogun’s excavation team has finally struck oil—specifically, Japan’s first-ever Ultra-Massive oil field. The reserves easily dwarf those of the Arabian Peninsula. Overnight, Japan has become the world’s preeminent energy superpower. Upon hearing the news, Prime Minister Habu deployed the entire fleet to the territorial limit to secure the site. He has already signed a joint treaty to begin energy resource development alongside our front company, SEIJYO Holdings.”
I bury my head in my hands in record time.
God! From the word ‘go,’ the scale is just way too big for me to handle! Look, I’m just a part-timer at a ramen shop, okay? A literal college student. How did my life become… this?! World, are you watching? This is what happens when you give bottomless pits of cash to geniuses who are one bad day away from being complete lunatics with zero ethics!!
”When we asked the Shogun what reward they desired, they requested the construction of a platinum-plated statue of Aqua-sama and a solid gold Saint statue on Japan’s first offshore oil rig.”
”No objections here!”
”Sounds great to me!”
Grandma Mary?! Claire too?!
You guys are only grinning because it’s not your problem!!
Hey, Kukuri! Rin! Mikoto! Don’t you dare raise your hands in favor!!
”Additionally, Pipe Rihito reports that with energy secured, the development of AI3510 will enter its next phase. Saint Emily-sama, you are informed on this, yes?”
I nod vigorously at the Sister’s question.
Of course I have no idea. But I can’t exactly admit that now, can I? All I can do is keep my head moving up and down in silence. Please, Kanon, don’t look at me like that!!
”Staaaaare… Saint-sama, did you actually know about this?”
Beads of sweat are rolling down my back.
Phew, it’s freaking hot for January!! Was the heatwave from the BERYL Tour Final still lingering or something?!
”As you all know, Pipe Rihito—one of the Twelve Bishops—partnered with Saint-sama’s holding company, Space Experience, to launch a communication satellite. By linking all active AI3510 units in real-time, they successfully created a decentralized supercomputer. Her next goal is to push forward research into Quantum Data Links and the ‘Hypercube’ via AI3510.”
I don’t understand a single word of this, but I maintain my “I totally get it” face. I’m so glad I’m a Yukishiro. It’s the only thing keeping people from realizing I’m a total moron!!
”Quantum Data Links and the Hypercube… is Koyomi-san trying to transcend dimensions to teleport something? But why…?”
Kanon… you’re actually really smart, aren’t you? Me and Chinsuki would have been out cold in a second. Actually, I think I did black out for a moment just now.
”Are there any reports from the AI3510 units themselves?”
”Sorry-ssu! Mikoto has no clue what any of that means! It’s all Greek to me! I tried searching with the AI, and I found some great places to get cube-shaped sponge cakes in Tokyo, though! Ahem!”
God, I love Mikoto.
You’re on my side of the fence, and that warms my heart!!
Also, Rin, stop spinning that Kunai just because you’re bored!
And Rinon, wake up already!!
”Moving on to the next report. Please turn the page.”
I flip the page as instructed. Let’s see… “Cases Handled by the Hidden Division Last Year”?
Terrifying. I close the folder immediately.
”According to reports from our Hidden Division currently active in the Far East Federation, public support for Her Excellency Su Shenliu is skyrocketing.”
Huh, is that so… wait, what are you guys even doing in foreign countries?! Stop causing trouble for other people!!
”The details are on the next page. Please take a look.”
I cautiously open the page and scan the text.
* “If I’m gonna serve anyone, it’s gotta be a loli. Hags are a hard pass.”
* “Loli Empress is peak! No cap!”
* “I just want the Young Empress to step on me. Haa… haa… ugh!”
* “If I’m gonna be treated like trash, I want a little girl to do it. Actually, I need a little girl to despise me!!”
* “Haa, I just want to bury my face in her fluffy hair and sniff-sniff… Kunka Kunker…”⁸
* “I want to nuzzle my head against that flat chest!! Please!!”
* “Where are the Young Empress x Aqua-kun doujins already!?”
* “Total blasphemy, obviously, but Japanese artists have zero chill—I’m betting they’ll drop a 2-man circle book any day now!!”
* “Any party that regulates porn is trash! Politicians need to keep their hands off our hentai!”
* “Anti-lewd parties can rot in hell, no matter what country they’re in!!”
* “Degeneracy > Politics. Weapons only start wars, but lewds bring world peace.”
I read the voices of the common people and nod with soul-deep conviction.
I knew it. In the end, nobody can beat their own libido. Erotica always wins. I clasp my hands together and look up toward the light streaming from the ceiling.
”Hear me, everyone. Trust the instincts within you. Your libido will always be your guide. A-A-Kua!”
”Ohhh…”
”Saint-sama…”
”Truly, Saint-sama!”
”As expected, Saint-sama truly understands!!”
Almost everyone in the meeting drops to their knees in prayer.
Nailed it. My work here is done. Kanon, Claire, Kukuri, Grandma Mary—the rest is up to you!! I dumped all the responsibility on them and just sat there with a serene, beaming smile.
”Saint-sama… you know it’s because you always say stupid crap like that to escape reality that we’re in this mess, right?”
Thump! My heart skips a beat. I freeze, staring straight ahead without blinking.
I-I don’t know what you’re talking about~. I managed to endure Kanon’s gaze and somehow survived that hellish meeting.
Phew. I feel like there were some absolutely world-ending reports in there, but it was probably just my imagination. Yeah, let’s go with that!!
Once I’m finally alone with Kanon in the car on the way back, she looks thoughtful for a moment before speaking.
”Well, I guess I’ve got a handle on the situation for now. Half the info from the Hidden Division was useless garbage, but the rest was stuff I couldn’t have verified (Izumi Kame) on my own, so it was helpful. There’s a big difference between acting on my own guesses and having confirmed intel when it comes to the cards I can play during negotiations.”
Kanon… you really are the responsible one. Wait, you’re saying if I look like a total klutz, it’s my fault, Aqua-sama’s fault, and the fault of the people on the internet message boards? Ah… yeah. I guess that’s-ssu right…
”Anyway, I’m going to be attending these meetings from now on. That okay?”
”A-Aight.”
Like I have the power to say no.
I nod slowly at Kanon’s demand.
”Also, that bit about the meteorite caught my attention. I’ll do some digging on my own.”
”Oh yeah, they did mention that.”
But hey, the odds of a meteorite hitting always start high and then drop once the math is actually done. No big deal, right? More importantly, I’m dying to know if Aqua-sama is gonna get busy with Tashinami in a super-lewd nun outfit tonight. Alright! Tonight, I’m gonna peep through the keyhole and watch everything! Hehehe!
As I’m having these degenerate thoughts, Kanon realizes something, hugs her own body, and shoots me a look of pure disgust.
Dammit! How does she always know exactly what I’m thinking?! This makes zero sense!!
—
Summary:
Emily (Hagetoru) tricking her friend Kanon (Tashinami) into wearing a suggestive sister outfit to a religious meeting to ‘trap’ her into the cult’s activities. Aqua interrupts and accidentally validates the lewd attire as a new sect. The duo eventually arrives at the headquarters where hierarchy and social tension with other members occur.
Emily attends a chaotic executive meeting where she learns that her organization has discovered a massive oil field, making Japan a world superpower. The group is also developing super-intelligent AI and quantum technology, much to Emily’s confusion. The meeting ends with her leading a prayer based on ‘libido’ to escape the stress of her responsibilities.
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Trivia:
- The ‘Holy Order of Aqua’ is a cult dedicated to Aqua himself, who is unaware of its true nature.
- Emily is a ‘figurehead’ Saint, meaning she has little actual power compared to executives like Servant Kukuri.
- Masks are mandatory for members to hide their identities, with specific tiers of masks (e.g., protagonist/Heaven’s Sword masks).
- Claire’s previous ‘private sessions’ left the spare habit stained, which Emily is hiding from Kanon.
- The ‘Stars Orthodox Church’ was actually a religion based on Aqua’s name that Emily unintentionally supplanted.
- The Hidden Division is actively monitoring and influencing politics in the Far East Federation.
- Sabato Koyomi-san is part of the ‘Twelve Bishops’ and ‘Pipe Rihito’ branch.
- The ‘Mines’ are an inescapable undersea prison used for labor.
- Tashinami is acting as Emily’s strategic handler and negotiator
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Character Insight:
Emily shows her manipulative side by naming Kanon ‘Sister Mussolini’ to mock her, while Kukuri displays a playful but authoritative dominance over Emily.
Emily continues to struggle with the gap between her reality as a ramen shop worker and her role as a world-shaping religious figure. She relies heavily on her ‘Face Power’ (cool expression) to hide her incompetence, showing her primary survival motive is avoiding direct responsibility.
—
Behind the Scenes:
The author uses ‘Sister Mussolini’ as a joke on Japanese edgy subculture naming conventions. The ‘Chastity Reversed’ world setting dictates that the scent of women in heat is a common atmosphere marker.
The author blends high-stakes geopolitical satire with ‘degenerate’ internet culture, using public forum comments to highlight the absurdity of the followers’ motives.
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TL Notes:
Please bookmark this series and rate ☆☆☆☆☆ on here!
Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
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