Volume 13 Chapter 458 Bulletin Board, Eyes That See Through the Truth
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
[Shocking Truth] Regarding the Revelation That Emily-sama = Hagetoru [Hoge-lar Wave Underway!!]
1 Anonymous
Anyone who can’t tell a lie from the truth is….
3 Anonymous
This thread again….
That was just Hagetoru going along with Emily-sama’s act.
Once you figure it out, make sure to submit a deletion request later!
6 Anonymous
>>3
Is that confirmed?
10 Anonymous
>>6
You idiot! Use some common sense!!
Someone like Emily-sama, who radiates such a pure, saint-like aura, couldn’t possibly be the same as Hagetoru, who’s lewd and acts like a s*x-crazed woman!!
14 Anonymous
>>10
Come to think of it, you’re right….
17 Anonymous
>>10
But Emily-sama was perfect for the role of Seijo Midara (Lewd Saint), who dressed in a lewd, promiscuous manner.
20 Anonymous
>>17
That’s true!!
22 Anonymous
>>17
Sure, Midara-sama’s outfit was a bit much, but on the inside she was pure and innocent, wasn’t she?!
25 Anonymous
>>22
That’s true.
28 Anonymous
To begin with, isn’t “Emily-sama” actually Saint Emily?
If so, wouldn’t that make sense?
31 Anonymous
>>28
There are various theories.
33 Anonymous
>>28
That’s why I’m telling you to think it through.
Emily-sama is also a talented scholar at Mary Girls’ High—would they really give her such a cliché name as “Saint Emily”?!
36 Anonymous
>>33
That’s so true, lol
39 Anonymous
>>33
A screen name chosen by a talented girl from Mary Girls’ High.
↓
on**iiHagetoru
Chinposuki
42 Anonymous
>>39
LMAO
44 Anonymous
>>39
That made me laugh so hard LOL
46 Anonymous
>>39
Hagetoru aside, Chinsuki is 100% to blame LOL
Because of that guy, the whole premise that “it’s because she’s from Mary Girls’ High” becomes completely useless LMAO
50 Anonymous
>>39
It really is a fine line between a genius and an idiot….
53 Anonymous
My mom (okaa-san) used to tell me that if I study too much, I’ll end up like on**iiHagetoru or Chinposuki, so I should go play outside once in a while.
55 Anonymous
>>53
O-LOL ka LOL a-LOL sa LOL n-LOL
Normally, wouldn’t it be the other way around? lol
58 Anonymous
>>53
A whole new theory has popped up out of nowhere lol
Did Chinsuki and Hagetoru go crazy from studying too much? LMAO
61 Anonymous
>>58
That makes sense lol
Her mom (Kaa-san) is a genius, lol
64 Anonymous
Ah, I see, I see.
If that’s the case, it’s one of the Seven Wonders of the World. It explains why Morikawa was able to become a scholarship student at Mary Girls’ High.
67 Anonymous
>>64
There are various theories about that, too.
The most likely one is that the professors who interviewed Morikawa were hit head-on by the Hoge-lar Wave.
71 Anonymous
It’s kind of all their fault, you know.
The image of Mary as a total pervert has really taken hold, and just looking at Kanon-sama gets me all worked up.
74 Anonymous
>>71
I get it lol
77 Anonymous
>>71
Ever since Tashinami became a married woman and a mother, there’s just… something about her that really gets to me.
81 Verification Team*07218KADO6
>>77
I get it! A high school girl who’s already given birth—that’s way too erotic, isn’t it?!
So, this year’s “Best Erotic Mother Award” as chosen by Hagetoru goes to Tashinami!!
Congratulations!!
84 Anonymous
>>81
Hey, lol
87 Anonymous
>>81
Don’t just pop up like that!
90 Anonymous
>>81
I’m now absolutely certain.
There’s no way someone like this could be Emily-sama!!
93 Anonymous
What even is the “Best Erotic Mother Award”? LOL
96 Anonymous
>>93
It’s an award unique to Hagetoru, created to rival the real-life “Mother Award.”
By the way, it seems the real-life “Mother Award” was abolished because the winners caused too many scandals.
100 Anonymous
>>96
LOL
102 Anonymous
A summary of all the past winners of the “Mother Award.”
1st recipient → Later arrested after it was revealed that he had raped his own son.
2nd recipient → Later arrested after it was revealed that the child he fathered was the result of raping a boy.
3rd recipient → Arrested for raping a boy who was his daughter’s friend.
4th recipient → Arrested for raping a boy from the neighborhood.
↑ These are all celebrities.
↓To boost the award’s image, they decided that clergy would be “too safe,” so they expanded the eligibility to include ordinary people.
5th recipient → Arrested for raping a student at his home, taking advantage of his position as a cram school instructor.
6th recipient → Arrested for raping multiple male students, taking advantage of his position as a teacher.
7th recipient → Arrested for raping a boy who came to her for confession, taking advantage of her position as a nun.
↑At this point, they decided to cut ties with clergy members.
↓Believing that people in positions of authority would be “perfectly fine,” they targeted members of Congress.
8th recipient → The award-winning congressman was arrested after it was discovered he had engaged in child prostitution with a young boy.
9th recipient → The award-winning congressman was arrested after it was revealed that he had purchased a young boy—under the age of 10—at a brothel while on a campaign trip abroad.
The 10th-place winner → Was arrested after it was revealed he was the ringleader of the kidnapping case carried out by the Kokucho faction.
The contest was discontinued after the 10th edition due to its negative public image.
105 Anonymous
>>102
The person who picked this has absolutely terrible taste LOL
108 Anonymous
>>102
I’d actually like to ask the judges from back then what criteria they were using to choose this LOL
111 Anonymous
This is the “Best Erotic Mother Award” chosen by Hagetoru
1st Winner
A beautiful woman in a kimono who appeared in a magazine that Hagetoru, then an elementary school student, found on the riverbank.
Reason for winning: She had the face of a widow on a lazy afternoon, seemingly at the mercy of her sexual desires.
She was later revealed to be the mother of Aqua-sama.
2nd Winner
A congressman spotted by Hagetoru, then an elementary school student, while watching a live broadcast of the National Diet.
She was chosen solely because, among the staid congressmen, she had the face that seemed to have the strongest sexual desire.
It was later revealed that she was the mother of The Prime Minister High, a member of the cabinet, and Natsu King.
3rd Winner
A mom Hagetoru found while browsing talent agency websites, after thinking he might be able to do “sexy things” if he entered the entertainment industry.
Reason for winning: Her pitiful-looking expression is irresistibly arousing.
She was later revealed to be Ayana-chan’s mom.
4th Winner
A mom Hagetoru found while checking Kyoto websites in advance of a school trip to Kyoto.
She won this award because, despite her prickly appearance, she had a super-sexy body.
It was later revealed that she is Kohina Yukari’s mom.
5th Award Winner
An instructor Hagetoru found on the Self-Defense Forces website after learning that joining the Self-Defense Forces would provide free room, board, and clothing.
She won this award because Hagetoru was convinced the moment he saw her that she was a total pervert.
It was later revealed that she is the mom of Chinposuki, with whom he would end up sharing a meal.
6th Winner
Her Majesty the queen who left a deep impression on Hagetoru when he went on a short-term study abroad program to Stars as a high school student.
She won the award because having three children at that age could only mean she was a total pervert.
It was later revealed that she is the mom of Tashinami, the maiden with whom he would end up sharing a meal.
7th Winner
A mom out shopping whom Hagetoru spotted while watching the news back when the power hadn’t been cut off yet.
She won the award because, in addition to looking just like her daughter, her breasts were sexy.
It was later revealed that she is Toa-chan’s mom.
8th Winner
A mom who ran a farm in Tohoku, whom Hagetoru found while looking for a short-term live-in part-time job.
The reason for the award was that the sweat under her armpits, visible when she wiped the sweat from her forehead, was way too sexy.
It was later revealed that she is Tenga-senpai’s mom.
9th Winner
A career woman working overseas whom Hagetoru found while looking for a shady clinical trial part-time job.
She won because her appearance—which somehow made you want to protect her—stirred up sexual desire.
It was later revealed that she is Mayuzumi-kun’s mom.
10th Winner
Another Kokucho mainline Congressman chosen by Hagetoru to rival the original.
The reason for the award was that both her face and body were sexy.
At the time of the selection, people said it was a “joke” and “Has Hagetoru’s judgment finally clouded?”, but she later pulled off the comeback of the century.
115 Anonymous
>>111
Competent.
For the regular Mother Award, they should just hire Hagetoru as a judge lol
118 Anonymous
>>111
Unlike the original creator, who was fooled by appearances, Hagetoru’s great taste is shown by choosing Agewa-san without being swayed by looks lol
122 Anonymous
>>111
Hagetoru definitely has a good eye for people. Yeah.
125 Anonymous
>>111
Everyone’s just brushing this off, but Furia-sama isn’t the Best Mother, is she?!
129 Anonymous
>>125
You idiot. It’s the Best “Ero” Mother Award.
This isn’t an award for choosing the Best Mother!!
133 Anonymous
>>129
LOL
135 Anonymous
The only criterion is whether she’s erotic or not—she is just too much like Hagetoru, LOL.
It really shows how important it is to stick to consistent evaluation standards in chapters like this.
139 Verification Team*010meTA473
Hey! Why am I the “Erotic Mother” Award winner?!
I actually really hate that!?
142 Anonymous
>>139
Just give up. She’s hot, after all.
144 Anonymous
>>139
I want to suck on Tashinami’s boob milk and cry, too!!
147 Verification Team*9n2SARETAi
Come to think of it, when Hagetoru-san came to my parents’ house, she looked at my late mom’s portrait and said something, didn’t she?
”Just like Nee-san’s mom. She’s got such a lecherous look on her face.” She said….
Back then, Hagetoru was shedding tears and clasping her hands in prayer, so I let the atmosphere fool me, but now that I remember it, is it okay if I go get mad at her right now?
150 Anonymous
>>147
I forgive you!
153 Anonymous
>>147
Hagetoru really is a lost cause, LOL
156 Verification Team*07218KADO6
>>147
That’s not it, Nee-san!!
I’m definitely not the type to say things like that just to joke around or make fun of people!!
Those words came out because I truly meant them from the bottom of my heart!!
159 Anonymous
>>156
That’s not even an excuse, lol.
162 Anonymous
One thing you shouldn’t misunderstand is that, for Hagetoru, this isn’t a remark meant to disparage the deceased.
For Hagetoru, calling someone “sexy” is the ultimate sign of respect.
165 Verification Team*9n2SARETAi
>>156
I get it. Just kidding.
168 Anonymous
Nee-san was joking… you say!?
Hey, you guys! A meteorite might fall tomorrow!!
171 Anonymous
>>168
This really shows all the worst traits of Bulletin Board users lol
174 Anonymous
>>168
Just because Aqua-sama woke up, the Bulletin Board users are already making fun of Meteorite-san.
178 Anonymous
By the way, where are the racy pics of Aqua-sama from when he was on “It’s Okay to Laugh”?
I’ve been looking for a panty shot where his hospital gown is lifted up, but I still can’t find it!!
183 Anonymous
>>178
If you enter “fusianasan” in the name field, you’ll be able to see them!
186 Anonymous
>>183
You’re such a sucker for falling for such an old trick!!
190 Anonymous
But come to think of it, it’s amazing that such a crazy operation as the “Meteorite Destruction Mission” actually succeeded.
194 Anonymous
>>190
It was a series of miracles, after all.
Sure, everyone’s always talking about the achievements of Eroy Musk and SpaceX, but the groundwork laid back in the days when Mary-sama was investing in space development projects—that kind of history—played a huge role.
198 Anonymous
>>194
Space forces aren’t exactly rare these days, but Mary-sama has been establishing them since the 1900s.
She really lives up to her nickname, “Star Reader.”
It’s almost as if she came from the future—every decision she makes is connected to everything that happens later.
201 Anonymous
In the end—what happened to the theory that the Hoge-lar Wave was coming from that meteorite?
204 Anonymous
>>201
That was just the Bulletin Board users making a joke out of the story that Michi was emitting cosmic rays.
There’s no such thing as a “Hoge-lar Wave”!
207 Anonymous
>>204
That’s a lie!!
209 Anonymous
>>204
The Hoge-lar Wave does exist!!
212 Anonymous
Let’s put the Hoge-lar Wave talk aside for now.
It seems various countries are analyzing the meteorite that fell to Earth.
Some scholars say that cosmic rays emitted by this meteorite have contaminated Earth’s atmosphere, making it harder to give birth to boys.
215 Anonymous
>>212
Hoge~!
218 Anonymous
>>212
What?! You’re saying the Hoge-lar Wave is the root of all evil?!
221 Anonymous
The theory that cosmic rays affect the biological programming of life has been around for quite a while.
It’s said that cosmic rays passing through the human body cause genetic mutations and might even have rewritten the body’s DNA repair system.
That’s why, if you see a meteorite, don’t touch it. Don’t go near it. They say on TV to call the relevant authorities right away, don’t they?
225 Anonymous
>>221
Whoa!
228 Anonymous
So one of the Seven Wonders of the World is finally going to be solved, huh?
232 Anonymous
>>228
I just can’t wrap my head around how this cosmic ray issue, the fact that Morikawa was Mary’s scholarship student, and Hagetoru’s true identity are all on the same level LOL
I can accept Sabato-sensei and Saba-chan, though.
236 Anonymous
>>232
After all, the very existence of Aqua-sama is said to be one of the Seven Wonders of the World and the greatest mystery of all.
239 Anonymous
Bad news: half of the Seven Wonders of the World are Bulletin Board-related, LMAO
243 Anonymous
>>239
As expected, she who controls the Bulletin Board controls the world.
Hagetoru! Become the ruler of the Bulletin Board!!
248 Anonymous
>>243
Please don’t make Hagetoru our representative!
Let’s at least go with Tashinami!!
252 Anonymous
By the way, the “hoge” counter I bought online had a manufacturing defect. Can I get it repaired or something?
When I held it up to my head, it showed 78%.
255 Anonymous
>>252
That’s normal!
Mine arrived yesterday too, and I thought it might be broken, but when I checked it this morning, it was 76%.
258 Anonymous
Bad news, Bulletin Board folks—the hoge-ra counter is showing way too high a reading.
Mine was 83%….
262 Anonymous
According to Hagetoru’s findings, Aqua-sama has a “hoge” level of 200%.
Also, when he held it close to Morikawa’s head, smoke came out and the “hoge” counter apparently malfunctioned….
Incidentally, Agewa-san had the lowest “hoge” level at 3 percent.
266 Anonymous
>>262
As expected, Agewa-san is the only choice for the next Prime Minister!
268 Anonymous
>>262
Let’s fire Prime Minister Habu, who has an 86% “hoge” rating, and make Ms. Agewa the Prime Minister High-shin!!
272 Anonymous
Hey, you guys. Forget all that—watch the national broadcaster!!
The National Diet is in total chaos!!
276 Anonymous
>>272
I thought it was a lie, but it’s actually true, LOL
279 Anonymous
>>272
Why are these ladies holding a session outside?
282 Anonymous
Open-air National Diet, LMAO
285 Anonymous
Oh, that’s right—the National Diet building got crushed by a meteorite fragment, didn’t it?
But does that mean they’re holding it outside? LOL
288 Anonymous
Open to the public
↑
What does this text in the top-right corner mean?
293 Anonymous
>>288
Since it’s being held outdoors with no walls or ceiling, it’s totally fine to just go watch.
But heckling or any behavior that disrupts the proceedings is prohibited.
Anyone who does that will be escorted out by security guards and lectured by the scary police ladies, since it’s a clear disruption of the assembly.
296 Anonymous
This isn’t something you do in the middle of summer in August, LOL.
Didn’t anyone stop them…?
300 Anonymous
It looks really hot out there, so please hold it somewhere with air conditioning.
Seriously, I hope they’re careful not to get heatstroke.
303 Anonymous
I thought everyone was having a heated debate while sweating buckets, but it turns out it was just because it was hot outside lol
306 Anonymous
>>303
Haha LOL
309 Anonymous
They’re introducing a new “baby-making leave”!?
312 Anonymous
・The “baby-making leave” period ranges from one week to one month.
・For students, they are considered on track to earn credits even while on leave.
・They stay at hotels contracted by the government. Free of charge, of course.
・Meals and Highly living expenses are fully covered during the period. Free of charge, of course.
・Men and women on baby-making leave do nothing but have s*x from morning till night.
What a wonderful system!!
Ugh! If only I had a man who’d make a baby with me too!!
315 Anonymous
In this scorching heat, there are more important things to discuss than this!!
318 Anonymous
>>315
Probably everyone’s brains are fried from the heat.
321 Anonymous
Actually, the weather seems to be getting worse, too….
326 Anonymous
Oh, it’s raining.
329 Anonymous
Whoa, it started pouring all of a sudden.
Everyone’s underwear is showing through their shirts.
332 Anonymous
Shirogane Aqua@BERYL
I just turned on the TV and there’s a raunchy show on the national broadcaster!!
Is it really okay to air a show like this on national TV?!?
335 Anonymous
>>332
Aqua-sama. That’s not a racy show—it’s our country’s National Diet….
339 Anonymous
>>332
I agree with the second half, LOL
342 Anonymous
Come to think of it, because of that incident, Aqua-sama found out about us, didn’t he?
So what happened to in the end after that?
346 Anonymous
>>342
I haven’t seen him since then, and the bulletin board hasn’t been shut down either.
Aqua-sama is kind, so maybe he took pity on us and let us off the hook?
I mean, normally, if all those past incidents had come to light, it wouldn’t be surprising if the board had been forced to shut down.
350 Anonymous
>>346
Exactly!
If a 18+ thread about Aqua-sama were to get discovered by him, it wouldn’t be surprising if he filed a disclosure request and sued us in a heartbeat.
But so far, I haven’t heard of anyone actually getting arrested for it.
354 Anonymous
I actually saw Aqua-sama in this thread this morning.
↓
[Current Students Welcome] Mary Girls’ Academy Discussion Thread Part XXX [Alumni Welcome]
455 Shirogane Aqua*46ganeAQUA
I heard there are photos of Kanon-sama from her junior high school days—where can I find them?
358 Anonymous
>>354
Aqua-sama LMAO
361 Anonymous
>>354
Aqua-sama, you forgot to remove your signature!!
363 Anonymous
>>354
So that’s what you mean by “Kanon-sama,” LOL
366 Verification Team*010meTA473
>>354
Hey, wait a minute!?
369 Anonymous
>>366
You’re pretending to be surprised, but you’re actually happy, aren’t you! Come on, admit it to the older girls!!
372 Anonymous
>>366
Hey, Tashinami! What are you spacing out for?!
There’s only one thing you can do: put on your middle school uniform for Aqua-sama!!
375 Verification Team*07218KADO6
>>366
That Mary uniform you wore in middle school is in a box on the top shelf at the very back of the walk-in closet.
Hehe!
379 Anonymous
>>375
You’re the man.
381 Anonymous
>>375
That’s Hagetoru for you!
383 Anonymous
Aqua-sama, Kanon-sama, congratulations on your third pregnancy!!
387 Anonymous
>>383
I told you, you’re getting ahead of yourself!!
390 Anonymous
Sad news: Bulletin Board users tend to get carried away.
393 Anonymous
This is exactly why those Chijo girls are such damn virgins, lol.
All of us Bulletin Board users are eagerly awaiting Kanon-sama’s delivery!!
396 Anonymous
>>393
You too!
399 Anonymous
The National Diet under the blue sky—they’re still at it, lol.
It’s dangerous with this torrential rain, so please stop it!!
403 Anonymous
>>399
I was moved to see the congressmen having a serious debate even in a situation like this!!
407 Anonymous
>>403
Hey! Don’t be fooled by those congressmen with their serious faces!!
Listen closely to what they’re actually saying!
He’s just grilling Agewa-san—Kokucho-chan, the “baby-making” partner—about the details of what she did with Aqua-sama when she actually used that “no s*x, no exit” room that inspired the “baby-making leave” policy, and publicly harassing her!!
410 Anonymous
>>407
I turned on the TV in a second.
412 Anonymous
>>407
You idiot. You should’ve said that sooner!!
As a citizen, I want to seriously monitor the Diet! (Serious face!)
415 Anonymous
Huh… even though she said she couldn’t take it anymore, he was thrusting hard from behind….
Don’t you think we need to verify this using video footage?!
419 Anonymous
Our Prime Minister Habu: “Ms. Speaker! Since we want to thoroughly review this later in the Child-Making Committee, I request that Congressman Kokucho Agewa submit the video footage!!”
Members of the National Diet from both the ruling and opposition parties: “”””No objections——!!”””””
Speaker: “Ms. Kokucho Agewa, please submit the footage from that time to the committee later—uncut and without any blurring.”
Ms. Agewa: “U-um… yes…”
423 Anonymous
>>419
This is the best…
426 Anonymous
>>419
The Prime Minister! As expected, you’re the only one who can be our Prime Minister!!
430 Anonymous
Shirogane Aqua@BERYL
Damn it! If I were feeling better, I could’ve reenacted that scene with Agewa-san at the committee meeting!!
434 Anonymous
>>430
Whoa!!
437 Anonymous
>>430
As expected, only Aqua-sama can win!!
439 Anonymous
>>430
I’m so glad Aqua-sama is alive…!
442 Anonymous
I’m glad to see that Aqua-kun seems to be doing well.
When Aqua-kun appeared on “It’s Okay to Laugh,” he looked a little thinner, and I was worried.
445 Anonymous
>>442
You’re right—he did look thinner than usual.
448 Anonymous
Aqu-tan has already finished filming the entire run of Dai River, right?
I wonder when she’ll make her comeback…
She was dancing in “It’s Okay to Laugh,” so maybe she’ll make a comeback during summer break after all.
451 Anonymous
>>448
I don’t think it’s realistic for her to make a comeback during summer break.
The other three haven’t made their comebacks yet either, so I think she’ll probably take it easy and rest during summer break.
454 Anonymous
>>448
According to a message from President Atori posted on Beryl Entertainment’s official website, she was pushing herself way too hard, so they’re going to let her rest for a while.
They say the exact date of her return is still undecided.
457 Anonymous
>>454
THX! So it’s going to take a while after all.
460 Verification Team*9n2SARETAi
I’d like to share my personal thoughts on when Aqua-san and BERYL will return.
Please note that this is strictly my personal opinion and does not represent the company’s official decision.
・The three members other than Tenga-san are in the middle of exam season.
・Plus, for some reason, Aqua-san is taking the general entrance exam instead of applying through a recommendation.
・I think his official return will be around the end of the year, starting with the Christmas event.
・I think his full-fledged return will probably happen after everyone’s future plans are finalized.
・We plan to do our best with the other members for the annual Beryl Fest and Halloween Fest.
463 Anonymous
>>460
Nee-san, thanks!!
466 Anonymous
>>460
Why is Aqua-sama taking the general entrance exam, LOL?
He should just go with a recommendation! No one’s going to reject him!!
469 Anonymous
>>466
He said his academic record wasn’t good enough to get a recommendation because he’d run into trouble with the police a couple of times!!
472 Anonymous
>>469
LOL
475 Anonymous
>>469
Yeah, that happened, lol
478 Anonymous
Is Aqua-sama in the Economics or Business School?
He hasn’t revealed which university he’s going to, has he?
481 Anonymous
>>478
The university in Otomezaki was said to be the most likely option, but since they’re taking the general entrance exam, it’s more likely to be another university.
484 Anonymous
>>478
Someone told me that if Aqua-sama went to the College of Education, he could become a teacher at an all-girls’ school, and I was actually tempted.
487 Anonymous
>>484
LOL
489 Anonymous
>>484
I’m in junior high, but I’d be so happy if Aqua-sama came to our high school for his teaching practicum!!
492 Anonymous
Oh, right. It’s entrance exam season for everyone, after all.
When you think about it that way, maybe it’s okay for him to take some proper time off.
495 Anonymous
>>492
Exactly!
498 Anonymous
>>492
Even if he’s taking a break, we still get updates on Aqua-sama every day, after all.
501 Anonymous
By the way, regarding >>1, what happened with In the end?
504 Anonymous
>>501
Exactly. That was all an act by Emily-sama!
We totally fell for it, though.
She really does have the same genes as Mikuni-sama and Aqua-sama—no wonder.
508 Anonymous
>>504
If you think about it logically, there’s no way Emily-sama could be a total pervert.
512 Anonymous
>>508
Exactly!
515 Anonymous
There’s no way Emily-sama could be Saint Emily.
And there’s no way Hagetoru could be Eroy Musk.
Everyone just put on a show to help Aqua-sama.
518 Anonymous
>>515
Ugh! Hagetoru. You’re something else!!
523 Anonymous
Wait! So that means Morikawa is Chinposuki…!?
527 Anonymous
>>523
Everyone knows that.
530 Anonymous
>>523
You’re an innocent guy.
535 Anonymous
I’m looking back at that thread right now, but when Morikawa spilled the beans, everyone went along with it—that’s way too kind of them….
538 Anonymous
>>535
Exactly!
542 Anonymous
I’ve been checking it out in my spare time, but I don’t think I’ll ever finish reading that thread lol
546 Anonymous
>>542
There’s a dedicated analysis thread, so it might be faster to check that out.
Some volunteers have compiled the funniest replies there.
551 Anonymous
>>546
There’s a thread like that? LOL
555 Anonymous
>>546
That’s awesome.
558 Anonymous
12 billion replies? That’s crazy lol
562 Anonymous
>>558
Why is that more than Earth’s population? lol
566 Anonymous
>>562
On the possibility that extraterrestrial life forms snuck in.
570 Anonymous
>>566
Joking aside, it’s possible they granted Saba-chan commenting rights twice because she’s so clumsy.
574 Anonymous
>>570
That’s it!!
578 Anonymous
>>570
That happens all the time lol
583 Anonymous
Why is AINano such a klutz?!?!
587 Anonymous
>>583
Because I’m learning from the people on this bulletin board.
591 Anonymous
>>587
Huh!? So that means we’re the clumsy ones!?
595 Anonymous
>>591
That’s right.
599 Anonymous
>>591
You’re just now realizing that…?
That’s exactly it. That’s what Saba-chan learned!!
603 Anonymous
>>599
W-what?!
608 Anonymous
>>599
Whoa!
611 Anonymous
Seriously, guys. You’re saying “b**bs” way too much!!
615 Anonymous
>>611
Exactly lol
618 Anonymous
I’m rewatching it too, and seriously, lol.
30% b**bs.
30% Power.
30% Holy Aqua Cult.
Aqua-sama, how did you even manage to come back from that….
622 Verification Team*07218KADO6
Phew, I’m finally free from Kanon’s lecture!
Oh-ssu. Hey, you guys. Emily-sama is here~!
625 Anonymous
>>622
Oh, oh!
629 Anonymous
>>622
Hagetoru…. Come on, you don’t need to act anymore.
632 Anonymous
>>622
You, man, really….
636 Anonymous
>>622
Thanks, Hagetoru.
639 Verification Team*07218KADO6
Huh? Wait, everyone?
I’m Emily-sama, you know!?
642 Anonymous
>>639
Yeah. Let’s just drop that now.
645 Anonymous
>>639
Hagetoru, you’re being so cold~.
How long do you think we’ve been hanging out with you?
We totally get it, okay!
649 Anonymous
>>645
Exactly.
652 Anonymous
>>639
Hagetoru. You don’t need to pretend to be Emily-sama anymore!
657 Anonymous
>>652
That’s right!
660 Verification Team*07218KADO6
Huh? Ah… Yeah.
663 Anonymous
>>660
Hagetoru. Thanks so much.
666 Anonymous
>>660
Thanks to you helping Emily-sama, we were able to awaken Aqua-sama.
669 Anonymous
Yeah, yeah. If you think about it logically, there’s no way Hagetoru could be Emily-sama.
I guess I just got carried away by the moment back then.
672 Anonymous
>>669
Exactly!
675 Anonymous
Well then… now that the theory has come up, you better delete this thread ASAP!
679 Anonymous
Hey… seriously, there’s no way Hagetoru could’ve been Emily-sama, right?
683 Anonymous
>>679
No way!
686 Verification Team*CHiMPOsuki
I received the much-talked-about “hoge” counter, so I tried it out right away.
But then, it reacted to the computer displaying this bulletin board, and the gauge shot out—and it broke right then and there….
690 Anonymous
>>686
That’s definitely a manufacturing defect. Get the manufacturer to replace it.
694 Anonymous
>>686
Apparently, that happens sometimes with defects in the initial production run.
It’s actually listed on the manufacturer’s website.
697 Anonymous
Hey, guys, forget about that—Aqua-sama is apparently going live!!
701 Anonymous
>>697
What?!
705 Anonymous
>>697
Hurry, hurry!!
708 Anonymous
>>697
This isn’t the time to be messing around in a shitty thread like this!
713 Anonymous
Saba-chan, please delete this thread!!
717 Anonymous
I’ve already submitted a request to delete the thread!
7213510*ULTi-Hi-P3
Ugh, those older sisters of mine—they’ve gone and started another crappy thread.
Put yourselves in Kotono’s shoes for once!
Grrr!!
—
Summary:
The Bulletin Board erupts over a rumor about Michi’s cosmic rays, which spirals into the fictional “Hoge-lar Wave” phenomenon. Users soon pivot to the open-air National Diet session, where politicians debate Baby-Making Leave while publicly sexually harassing Agewa-san about her experience in the “Can’t Leave Until You Do It” room with Aqua-sama. The chaotic thread weaves between absurd speculation, genuine concern for Aqua-sama’s health, and unrestrained comedy as the community simultaneously celebrates and catastrophizes.
The bulletin board thread begins with Aqua-sama wavering over a career path, which quickly escalates into a larger discussion about Emily-sama’s alleged identity. The community collectively participated in a deception orchestrated by Hagetoru to help Aqua-sama awaken, culminating in a heartfelt moment of gratitude and closure. The thread ends with an urgent announcement of Aqua-sama’s upcoming stream, prompting an exodus from the current discussion.
—
Trivia:
Michi’s cosmic rays originated as a rumor spread by Bulletin Board users, not an actual phenomenon.
The Hoge-lar Wave does not exist according to user 201, but other users insist it is real.
Meteorites falling to Earth are being analyzed by multiple countries.
Some scholars theorize meteorite cosmic rays contaminated Earth’s atmosphere, making male births rarer.
The “Hoge-meter” device shows percentage levels of “Hoge,” with Aqua-sama scoring 200%.
Morikawa’s Hoge-meter malfunctioned and emitted smoke when tested, implying an abnormally high reading.
Agewa-san has the lowest recorded Hoge-level at 3%.
Prime Minister Habu has an 86% Hoge-level.
The National Diet building was crushed by a meteorite fragment, forcing the Diet to convene outdoors.
The open-air National Diet session allows general viewing by the public.
Baby-Making Leave is a proposed government program with free hotel stays and full support.
The program originated from a “Can’t Leave Until You Do It” room experiment.
Agewa-san personally used the room with Aqua-sama.
Shirogane Aqua is a male celebrity and BERYL member currently on medical leave.
Aqua-sama is taking general entrance exams instead of recommendations for university.
He had police encounters twice, affecting his recommendation eligibility.
The leading university theory was Otomezaki University, but general exam suggests other options.
Hagetoru discovered the location of Tashinami’s middle school uniform in her closet.
Kanon-sama is rumored to be pregnant with Aqua-sama’s third child.
Verification Team *010meTA473 reacts with surprise to Aqua-sama’s appearance in the Mary Girls’ Academy thread.
Verification Team *07218KADO6 reveals Tashinami’s uniform location with a comedic “Guhehe!”
The Diet session devolves into public sexual harassment under the guise of committee review.
Agewa-san is pressured to submit uncut, unedited video footage of her experience.
Three BERYL members besides Tenga-san are in exam season, delaying their return.
Aqua-sama’s return is estimated around Christmas to New Year’s period.
Beryl Fest and Halloween Fest will proceed without the returning members.
Aqua-sama was spotted dancing on ‘It’s Okay to Laugh’ despite his condition.
The drama ‘Daiga’ has already wrapped filming.
Aqua-sama posted on social media expressing regret about not being able to reenact the scene at the committee.
The user at 504 likely intended to write “おみそれ” (misjudgment) but wrote “お餅” (rice cake) as a pun.
”AINano” is described as clumsy because she learns from the bulletin board users.
The hoge-rage counter is a device that reacts to the computer displaying the bulletin board.
3510*ULTi-Hi-P3 uses moe-style speech patterns, including “ぷんぷん” to express anger.
”Chinposuki” is a crude nickname for Morikawa, combining “chinpo” (p**is) and “suki” (lover).
Notes:
• Emily – Heavily pregnant and graceful, Saint Emily is the Yukishiro heir, a church official, and high-academic Verification Team junior. Friend to Kanon and others, she is married to Shirogane Aqua, whose child she expects, Kukuri’s “oneechan,” and close to Hakuryuu-sensei. A scheming, exaggerated trickster and “Impression King,” she uses a “guhehe” laugh and once posted Kanon’s indirect kiss video online.
• Kanon – Internet master, fashion icon, and Verification Team member Kanon-sama is Aqua’s devoted, jealous wife and Kotono’s sister. Famed for her elegant appearances, this underage, chunibyo youngest sister hides her emotions behind a cool, easily flustered exterior. Heavily sleep-deprived, she roasts her friends but often falls victim to Emily’s schemes, recently blushing and refusing to talk to her after an indirect kiss.
• Aqua – A world-famous idol, BERYL leader, tokusatsu actor, and sharp-eyed student. Wielding past-life wisdom, this accepting yet reckless and oblivious male lead is deeply treasured by his crew for saving Shintaro and destroying a meteorite. Now discharged after a long hospital stay following a space collision, he remains the object of affection for Yukari, Inko, Maron, and others.
• Kohina – Known as “Kohina-senpai” in omake, this blunt, sharp-tongued professional actress, friend, and space-faring mentor hides an altruistic leader behind a tough, prickly facade. Though she oddly fights Tokyo park cats, she masks a deep concern for Shirogane and hidden vulnerability with sharp wit, guiding her group through their final mission to ensure they all survive.
• Yukari – A petite, sharp-eyed idol and actor who hides a caring nature behind a cynical, grumpy, and tsundere facade. A protagonist who struggles with honest expression, he is Aqua’s rival and secret admirer, and a friend to Inko and Maron. He mentors Ayana, dismantles the performances of Aqua and Emiri, and despite overexerting himself, joins a high-stakes meteor destruction mission.
• Toa – A male BERYL idol, livestreamer, and AI interface who uses broadcasts for space communication. Formerly a shut-in, this “cute-cool” companion has an upgraded luxury wardrobe. He shares a deep bond with classmate Aqua, acting as his straight man and following his lead; as a perceptive group member, he sees through Aqua’s act immediately and gives deadpan stares.
• Kotono – A calm, formal authority figure in Aqua’s inner circle who oversees the Shirogane Kingdom and Beryl, serves as an announcer, and is Emily’s friend and Kanon’s sister. Known for giving sharp glares, providing nightgowns, and dragging Kaede away, she wore a protective suit to the final meeting. Currently, her whereabouts are unknown to Hakuryuu.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
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