Stargazer 43

Chapter Chapter 43 The Story of a Sorrowful Girl

Edited by: Kanaa-senpai

 ”I want to be a shooting star.”

 He whispered this in my ear, just like now, in this deserted palace after summer had passed.

 It was the first and last night we were together.

 I wonder what was the first reason why I developed feelings for him.

 I can’t even remember now.

 Anyway, I loved the man who guarded me as a knight, and he loved me back.

 Royalty and nobility. We loved each other, though our statuses were different.

 At that time, we saw nothing but each other.

 With love, we can overcome any difficulties. We thought that the difference in status was nothing to worry about.

 Looking back on it now, I can only describe it as a reckless youthful sense of invincibility, a sense of omnipotence without any evidence to back it up.

 At that time, my father, the king of this country, was planning to marry me to the second prince of Ternoir, a neighboring country.

 For a daughter of a royal family, a political marriage is a matter of course. It’s not something one would normally even question.

 However, for me, who had already tasted the forbidden fruit of love, the idea of marrying a man whose face I did not even know… someone other than him, struck me as something to be dreaded.

 So we promised to flee from this country and marry each other.

 And on the appointed day in the late autumn.

 Although it was a little early for me, I had left the royal palace for a secret visit to this summer palace under the guise of staying at the winter palace.

 I remember that I was looking at the small path along the lakeside from the balcony, anxiously waiting for his visit.

 But in the end, he never came.

 Since that day, I was crying by myself in my room, and a maid, who couldn’t bear to see me, told me secretly.

 She began with such a preface, ‘I heard this story from the servants of His Majesty the King…’ and it was too hopeless for me.

 My father knew that we had feelings for each other.

 So, he had called his father and forced him to make a pact that he would never see me again, using the lives of his whole family as a hostage, and he had accepted.

 My father is a fierce man, who is even nicknamed “Warmonger”.

 If he wanted to kill his family, he would do it. This is not a threat.

 I think the reason why my father did not execute him at this point is because he regretted his talent as a knight.

 At this point, I never held a grudge against him.

 After all, if he had been capable of sacrificing his family, I would not have loved him.

 So I decided to forget him.

 But just then, just as the marriage with the prince of the neighboring kingdom was being arranged.

 One day, I noticed something wrong with my body with nausea.

 I was pregnant.

 There was only one person with whom I had made love.

 There was no doubt whose child it was.

 I became impatient.

 If my father found out about this, he would end his life.

 My father knew that we had feelings for each other, but he did not know that we had made love.

 If he knew that, he would torn him to pieces, no matter how figurative it is.

 What should I do? What should I do? What should I do? What should I do?

 In my impatience, when I bit my nails unconsciously and my fingernails were torn to shreds, I made a decision.

 A decision that, looking back on it now, seems like madness.

 I invited one young nobleman after another to my room and began to share my bedchamber with them.

 I tried to be as s*xy as possible in my behavior, dressed up in the most indecent way I could, and tried to present the appearance that I was a s*x-crazed princess who had conceived a child after a wild and whorish love affair.

 It was a desperate attempt.

 Every day my body and mind were becoming more and more defiled.

 After the event was over, I continued to vomit until dawn every day.

 I rested for a while after my stomach began to swell, but after I entered the stable period, I invited the nobles back to bed with my big belly.

 The reason I had to go to such lengths was that my father had not yet heard about my behavior.

 I did not have many opportunities to see him.

 It is preferable that others hear about it naturally.

 And if he did not believe that I had become pregnant as a result of my debauchery, then all these hellish days would be ruined.

 In the end, my father heard about it only a month before the birth. Naturally, the marriage proposal with the neighboring country was broken off, and my father became furious, purging all the children of the nobles who had relations with me.

 Fortunately, my father did not think that I had anything to do with that man, and there were no repercussions for him.

 The problem is the unborn child.

 It is the very form of love between me and him. I must protect it.

 But there is no way my father will leave the child alone.

 He would take the child away from me as soon as it was born.

 I needed allies.

 And there was only one person who was strong enough to stand by me.

 My only brother from the same mother, the third prince of this country.

 At the time, my father considered my brother, who was kind-hearted and did not like conflict, to be a weakling.

 Therefore, I revealed everything to my brother.

 He was surprised and angry at my unreasonableness, and promised to cooperate with me with tears in his eyes.

 Thanks to the help of this kind brother, on the day of his birth, I was able to entrust the child to his trusted confidant and to help him escape from the palace. Where she escaped to I do not know.

 The child was a girl.

 A sweet, sweet girl.

 I gave her the name I had always wanted.

 ’Stellanova’, which means ‘new star’.

 Stellanova’s hair is red like her father’s, so there is no way she can escape detection.

 So, my brother told his confidantes to raise the child by dying her hair silver, a color that would never remind anyone of her, if she were ever found.

 Once again, my father was furious with me for letting the child escape. This meant that he was going to kill her, too.

 But this does not mean that he was particularly cruel.

 Royal blood is special.

 If anything happens to the child, there will be those who will raise her up as a banner and start a rebellion.

 It may be natural for a king to consider the danger of keeping her alive.

 After thusm my father has imprisoned me in the basement of his remote palace in the east.

 The room is clean, but it’s a small room with iron bars. It was a prison for royalty.

 I was treated as if I were a prisoner, and I wonder if the fact that I was not executed was due to a little bit of remaining parental love.

 At that time, I had resigned myself to the thought that I would never leave this room, where there was no sunlight, and that I would continue to grow old and decay, but to my surprise, I was released after only a month or so.

 It is not that I was forgiven.

 My father died.

 I couldn’t believe it.

 A man who had been called “Warmonger,” a man who had led his people to destroy the surrounding barbarians, a man who had prided himself on his robust physical strength, had taken ill and died in a matter of days.

 Moreover, my father left a will.

 He had abolished the first prince who had been nominated as the crown prince, and appointed the third prince, that gentle elder brother, as his successor.

 This was a surprise to everyone.

 There was no end of rumors that this was a fabrication, which later led to the situation that the first prince, who was disinherited, revolted claiming that our father was assassinated by the third prince.

 But this was fortunate for me.

 It was too convenient.

 If other half-brothers had taken the throne instead of the gentle brother, I couldn’t have violated my father’s decision.

 And the first thing my gentle brother did when he took the throne was to free me.

 For a while after that, the palace was in turmoil, as it should be. Although my brother, the third prince, ascended the throne according to our father will, the first and second prince rebelled against him, and they were divided into their own factions, and they were fighting against each other, so that the situation was really at a crossroads.

 Because of such a situation, I cannot visit my brother, the third prince, even though I have been released from the basement of the palace.

 It seems that each faction is trying to find out each other’s crusts.

 In such a situation, if I, the half-sister of the kind brother, take an imprudent action, I may be dragging him down.

 And so, I was tormented by the feelings that grew more and more each day, as one year passed and another year passed.

 After three years, the first prince finally revolted, and the second prince responded to him, and for a time it looked as if the war would split the country in two.

 However, the unbelievable happened.

 The first and second princes lost their lives one after another in an accident.

 ’Coincidence, let’s call it coincidence.’

 Nobles who responded to them were purged or their lands were reduced and their power was cut down, and finally the long-awaited peaceful days came back.

 Immediately I tried to meet the man I loved.

 But this time, my brother will not allow me to do so. When I asked him directly, he only smiled sadly.

 Has my brother changed since he gained power?

 Has he grown tired of getting involved in troubles?

 I wondered so.

 But it was not like that. After a while, I understood the reason.

 My brother was just trying not to hurt me any more.

 Because the man I loved was already married.

 He married the eldest daughter of the same duke’s family.

 It’s a reasonable marriage, I suppose.

 Surely a member of the royal family can’t marry as the second or third wife of a nobleman.

 And the way for her and me to be together was already dead.

 I did not feel betrayed.

 I thought that he had been forced into an unwanted marriage just like me.

 I wrote to him, but he never wrote back… I don’t know if he ever received my letter.

 No, I am sure he never received it because he is against my seeing him.

 He was not my enemy, but he was no longer my friend.

 With each passing year, with each passing day, I feel more and more sad.

 My life became more and more bleak because of my helplessness.

 And taking advantage of my brother’s acquiescence, I took up the company of beautiful young boys and consumed them just to relieve my pent-up feelings.

 I found that the bedchamber activities, which I used to detest so much, became my only comfort.

 Only during the act, I was able to numb the emptiness.

 I have borne children and shared beds with dozens of men.

 I no longer felt so guilty about the act of being embraced by a men.

 Looking back now, I think that I was obsessed like a beast.

 Such days continued for more than ten years or so.

 One day, while I was in such a state of confusion, I received a letter from the confidant to whom I had entrusted my daughter.

 The letter said that the confidant was now on his sickbed and did not have much longer to live. He would return the daughter to me.

 I was overjoyed.

 My beloved daughter, the fruit of our love, would come back to me.

 But her presence is a royal secret. Things must be handled with care.

 Thus, I have had all the boys around me dyed silver, and even those I have entrusted with the task of gathering the boys to be “the silver-haired boy”.

 If word spread that I like to have silver-haired boys around, it would not be natural for me to have a silver-haired girl by my side.

 After a few weeks of sending back replies, my daughter finally came to visit me.

 She was a beautiful girl, with some trace of him, although her expression was a little lacking.

 As she had been carefully raised as the daughter of a close aide, she did not know that I was her real mother.

 Until we met in person, I had thought that I wanted to spoil her as much as I could as a mother, but when we met in person, I could not say that I was her mother, though it was very difficult for me to do so.

 Of course.

 How could such a sullied woman call herself a mother?

 Still, I was happy just to have my daughter by my side.

 Even if I could not come forward, the days I spent with my daughter were irreplaceable.

 However, human desires are unlimited.

 My desire for her grows more and more every day.

 I was gradually becoming aware that for the sake of my daughter, I should rescue the man who was unwillingly bound to the Savignac house.

 I began to gather people to be my hands and feet.

 Like Flovio, the butler, who was recruited from a merchant who frequented the royal court.

 He is a trained assassin from Calcata.

 The merchant said that Calcata assassins never disobey their masters. That’s how they are trained.

 Next, I recruited Olga as my personal guard knight.

 At that time, I simply had Amber recommend several skilled knights to me, but she was the ideal candidate because she was not blessed with good relationships, and had only developed a self-consciousness that had prevented her from holding a position commensurate with her abilities.

 She had plenty of ability. Moreover, she had just the right amount of inflection.

 After all, an innocent person cannot be entrusted with a dirty job.

 But then, I received the news of Amber’s death.

 He used to be one of my favorite boys.

 I also arranged for his elevation to the position of minister.

 To avenge him, I had someone gather information who killed him, but one name came to mind as I looked into the death of Amber.

 —Valerie Savignac.

 I found the last piece of the plan.

 To have someone from the Savignac family kill me and to have the Savignac family executed that person for that crime.

 The time had finally come for me to carry out my plan.

 At that time, I really thought that the man I loved was waiting for my rescue.

 I thought that I could free him from the Savignac house.

 But if I think about it calmly, I would have immediately understood that he would not be pleased with such a thing.

 I can only say that I just got carried away.

 However, I still decided on a date to carry out the plan and had my butler, Flovio, deliver a letter to him accordingly.

 I told him the whole plan and concluded with a letter saying, “I will be waiting for you in the summer palace”, just like that day.

 But in the end, it was only my own idea.

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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.

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